Thursday, May 26, 2005

tommy is a loonie

oh tom cruise and katie holmes. its like enough already, right? i was getting sick of their pda tour so when i heard tom was on oprah to talk about his lady love, i nearly barfed. of course i didnt watch the ep. then again, im not a big oprah watcher - sorry, i have a job that requires me to work during oprah. but after seeing countless pics of tom jumping on top of oprahs couch and kneeling down with a pumped fist, how could i not see this ep. so i quickly picked up the phone, dialed the jamer and went to the peach pit last night to watch loonie tommy and the idol finale.*

i started watching the ep thinking, "how far will tommy go to prove hes not gay?" and finished the ep thinking, "hes not gay. just a loonie toon. loo. nie." oh lordy pick a pail of cotton hes crazy. he still wins nicest celeb ever. you can feel the niceness oozing out of him through the screen. the man always has a smile on his face and just cares and cares and cares. no man that is that nice is straight. its like a rule. but mr cruise is an exception. i think he likes girls, hes just really really loonie about love.

the way they met is so so... hollywood. argh. no they didnt meet through their agents a la jen and brad (rip). tom cruise is more direct than that. supposedly, he had seen a few katie holmes films, liked her work, got her number and said, "hey, i wanna meet you." the rest is history - for all of us to see. blech. so now they are supposedly in love and whatnot. i think tom is enamored by katie (or is a really great actor pretending to be... could be a possibility) and katie likes tom too but is scared by his intense-ness. intensity. intensity in ten cities. live in budokan. (sorry. had a waynes world moment.)

even though 95% of the show was about the happy couple, tom was actually on the show to promote this:

tom cruise and steven spielberg. now theres a force to reckon with. jeepers. like they really need an oprah appearance to get people to go see this.

*damn idol finale. carrie rightfully won. she needs the title. bo kicks major ace! have you seen anyone happier than him while he was performing sweet home alabama with lynard skynard? i didnt think so. he doesnt need the ai title. if anything, it might hurt him. being number two aint so bad. look at clay. exactly.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

revenge of the trailers

i had to. i had to see episode three. yeah, i can barely remember eps 4-6 considering i saw them when i was a frightened little girl back in the '80s. who am i kidding? i barely even remember eps 1&2. im not even sure i saw ep 2 even though i think i did. im sure i did. maybe i did? who knows but i had to see the final flick that glues the others all together.

so youd think the day after watching ep 3 i would have those light saber fights just running through my mind. nope. my mind doesnt work that way - when it does work anyway. no, instead im still frightened by one of the trailers i saw last night. it wasnt even a trailer! it was a commercial for a television series. yeah. did you know they show 20 minutes of commercials before the movie even begins? well, not even the movie but the trailers! so you get sucked into not just coming back to the movies but also tuning into your tv. yeah. its all a money making machine. anyhoo, back to the freaky commercial that scared the bejesus outta me.

i got the same feelings i got when i saw V way back when. oooh. chilly. scary. people being abducted and then coming back to earth to see that life has gone on without them. drama yes but also scary. they always have to have a little girl in it. and this time the little girl can see the future and of course, shit is gonna go down. so scary! as soon as the commercial for this damn show ended, i knew i was gonna have nightmares about it. joinaclub laughed at me and thinks im a loon but hey man, i get scared easily.

oy, watching these commercials and the trailers really made me wonder why i was missing chaotic to see ep 3. i dont regret it though. mtv will be playing reruns of brits crazy life on thursday. gotta love reruns - just not of the 4400. sca-ry!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

snootchie bootchies, eh?

i spoke to my sister yesterday - not joinaclub but the west coaster who will be joining the fam again on the east, way too soon - and she was blabbing on about her trip to palm springs. the girl was gambling with a friend of hers and who else was at their table?

jason "snoogans" mewes. i wouldve been crazy excited and jealous if this happened a few years ago - at the height of my admiration of kevin smith films and all things related - but i was still amused. then, the sis mentions that mewes was wearing a beenie(big surprise!) with a degrassi logo on it! you know me and the degrass. then the wheels in my head started to turn and i realized mewes and smith were in two eps of degrassi. which then made me wonder, when is the new season airing on the-n?

half an hour later, as i was watching an ep of moesha on the-n (the ep was ok but i was watching it for shar "ive been knocked up twice by rat bastard kevin federline" jackson) what do i see but a commercial with my favorite school kids:

i love me my degrassi! the new eps (two with mr mewes and smith) air in july. yay! but to hold me over til then, every friday night in june, i will be at home tuned into the-n watching degrassi: unscripted. yay! each ep follows an actor from the show. i cant wait for the jake epstein/craig manning one.

seriously, if he were a few years older, or if i a few younger... damn damn damn. hes got it all: not too shabby to look at, tall (height is very very important), good musician, great great great actor. the crap craig manning has been through - his mothers death, leaving his abusive father to live with his stepdad and half sis, seeing his father get killed in a car accident, being a two timer and then getting a double dumping, a bi-polar rage fest at ashleys fathers wedding - and jake epstein portrayed each and every crisis so vividly. jake epstein man. hes the man. hes like my other pseudo crush: jake bronstein. mmmm. jake ____ steins are hot.

Monday, May 23, 2005

abc finales

yesterday was jam packed with errands, drama, traffic, parties, and ended with two big finales that i actually stayed up to watch. i started my day off with a nice sweat at the second to last hip hop class with the jiller and joinaclub. then, we did some last minute shopping for graduation gifts and headed back home. of course, my mother calls all panicky about no one answering the phone at home and my brosefs cell phone. so the ride home was a stressful one as joinaclub dialed endlessly and i drove in massive traffic. of course as we rushed to the front door, my brosef was sitting in front of his computer - oblivious to the panic and enormous worrying we just went through. ive got a great fam. so i rushed into the shower, got all pretty and went to jordys for her graduation party. congrats to jord. after all those events, youd think id be exhausted but alas, i actually stayed up for not one but two finales! (i also bought new sheets and washed and put them on my bed! that is time and energy consuming too you know.)

seems just like yesterday, i was in la looking up at this billboard and going, thisll last two eps. boy was i wrong. oh the desperate housewives. its an ok show. i totally understand why its so successful. tv definitely needed a show like this. especially abc but eh. ive seen better. am i a fan? of course. have i watched every single ep? not really. i catch it when i either remember to, care to, or can stay awake for it. working for over a year now has definitely turned me into a grandma. sunday nights are rough for me. so the finale.

our questions were answered about mary alice. finally got to see the whole secret shes been hiding. it was almost surreal as i watched it. am i really seeing what we've been trying to put together for months? i think im most surprised about not being disappointed. that zach/dana is a loonie one. i like it. the cliffhanger could have been more hanging though. a good finale leaves you at the edge of your seat, filled with so much excitement that you feel like youre gonna explode if you dont see what happens next right away. yeah. no explosions for me last night. so mike delfino walked into his house with a scared susan and crazy armed zach waiting for him. big whoop. i wasnt at the edge of my seat. wasnt even leaning forward.

ridiculous. and whats with the new lady moving in. of course i read up on reviews of the finale and all i kept hearing was the new character is gonna be the next big mystery for the new season. we'll get a glimpse of her storyline in the finale. riiight. all we know about her is that she bought a house on wisteria lane without even looking at it. crazier things have happened.

i am however looking forward to lynettes chance to get back into the workfield. ha. to see tom with the kids should be very very interesting. maybe edie will come over to help and a new affair will begin. ooh, the ideas that pop into my head.

so in the words of the thighmaster, peace the fork out rex van de kamp. doesnt that always happen. just when things were going ok between him and bree, he croaks. so sad. i guess thats one more thing to look forward to next season - bree dealing with widowdom.

after watching desperate, how could i not stay up one more hour for

i even surprised myself for staying up and watching this (my bed with the new and very very soft and comfy sheets were calling my name) but how can i say no to drama in the or. ive never been an er fan so i never wouldve thought id like greys but ive caught an episode before and actually enjoyed it. i dont remember much of the ep but the super crazy surprise ending was something the spederline fetus couldve predicted from brits womb. so dr derek (ronald "you shit on my house" miller) shepard is married. big whoop. men cheat. hot docs cheat. tv characters cheat. in the words of the academy is: now that im grown, ive seen marriages fall to pieces. yeah. everyones seen it. greys was good. still is good. but like dh, the ending - not so good.

finales have the word "final" in it. so the ending of every finale should have a big bang. a cliff hanger (unless its a series finale, then it can close completely). so dh and greys - good shows but not good finales.

Friday, May 20, 2005

chaotic is nauseating

hold on to your ciggies feddies - you may not be able to afford 'em with your tv money. chaotics ratings were just that - not up to par. hmmm. and i thought the rest of the country was getting just as nauseous as i was watching britneys life.

i dont know what was making me vomit more -

  • the camera movements from brits unsteady hand

  • her disgusting "she needs way more than proactiv" skin

  • or just her cheesestastic self.
  • seriously brit. ive got one word for ya: tripod. i know. those things are so dorky but since i have a little experience using a damn camera - due to my days in broadcast journalism class - i know the tripod can be a wonderful thing. steady shots not only look kickass but you dont make your audience nauseous. seriously, blair witch was also scary because the cameras werent on tripods thus making the viewers ill.

    speaking of ill - ew her skin. ew. ew. ew. ew. i cant stop saying it. ew. ew. ew. i understand why your skin would not be so silky smooth - the pounds of makeup for each concert, appearance, etc... can do a number but please. spare us the close up shots of your face. the zoom button must not be taken advantage of. zoom can be your friend, until it zooms in on your pores. ew. ew. eeewww!

    now i know the britster went to high school for like a day. then she left to become a mega superstar so she was tutored the rest of her education. ive said it once and i will say it again: tutored kids = a strange ass breed. yeah. high school sucks. middle school sucks. school sucks in general but i think every kid has to go through all that crap to become somewhat normal. if you dont interact with other kiddies, youre gonna be a friendless freak. its true. look at this:

    jennifer love hewitt. cute girl. no friends. seriously. she begged a fan of hers to be her friend while she was vacationing. sad sad sad. if youve gotta beg for friends...

    so the britster spent the entire first half of her show asking people what they thought of love and commitment and then the homegirl flies kfed out to london to be with her. she met him for a day. damn. that shit aint bananas. its pathetic. p.a.t.h.e.t.i.c. the man should come a runnin to you. not you fly him out. poor girl.

    so will i be watching the second ep? depends. if i get motion sickness meds before tuesday, im so tuning into the upn. if not, i will be sitting in a nasty theatre for 3 hours to watch the latest installment of star wars. i know. yikes and jeepers.

    "desperate" for a joint

    no. im not talking about myself. im talking about cody kasch.

    according to the ny post wisteria lanes troubled teen was seen puffing on 1st and 2nd ave and got arrested. i love it. the most unsuspecting people are tokers. its so awesome. remember this one:

    i think we all knew ben (aka steve "dude, youre getting a dell") curtis was a toker but he got arrested too. i just hope codys career doesnt go kaput like bens did. damn. i loved that dell guy.

    beyonce: dad, youre fired!

    mathew knowles

    man was fired by his own daughter. damn. i heard it first from perez. beyonce gave her daddy the boot bc he had an alleged affair with one of her dancers. nasty but makes sense. hes been beyonces manager forever. remember destinys child:

    yeah. and those outfits were designed by tina "mama" knowles. that fam aint afraid to exploit their little girls. so whats going on with the other daughter? poor solange. i would not want to be beyonces younger sister. not only is her older and only sister super talented, but shes a mega superstar around the world. damn. so solange dealt with being the uglier, less talented sister the only way she knows how - get married and knocked up by a football player. makes sense. shes keeping herself occupied while the hubby brings in the dough. hmmm. maybe i should follow her footsteps. nah. i dont have older sister envy like that. oh lordy. id be in therapy more than once a week if i did. damn.

    Thursday, May 19, 2005

    vonz gets the bronze

    the final three is down to two. of course i watched the final three this week - it was conveniently on right before the feddies debut - and i actually voted. but ah, my vote was not enough bc vonz got the boot this week.

    her chain of fools was so awesome. she has a great voice but lets face it. if you heard her on the radio, you wouldnt be able to identify that its her. good voice. just not distinctive. vonzie had a good run but i guess it was just her time to go.

    carrie underwood. the all american fave. honestly, she put me to sleep. my jaw dropped every time simon didnt accost her for being such a bore. she was my fave in the beginning but the girl stopped "steppin' it up" or "takin' it to the next level" and might i add girlie has packed on a few pounds. jeepers creepers. she must not be gettin' any bedroom cardio since a-fed bounced.

    so there only leaves one other person left and who i predict will be the next idol:

    Tuesday, May 17, 2005

    its their prerogative

    are you ready for the feddies, y'all?

    the day has come. we finally get to see the origins of brit and kfed.

    im getting so excited its ridiculous! im sure therell be a lot this goin' on:

    even my mom says he must be good in the sack. why else would she be with him? i guess we will all find out tonight! me and my girls will be watching in true southern white trash style with a big bucket of fried chicken from the only place to get it:

    i know youre jealous. now im not sure what im more excited for - the show or the biscuits. mmmmm. biscuits.

    Monday, May 16, 2005

    love triangles

    love triangles. who doesnt love a good love triangle? love triangles create the best drama. it always begins with a great couple and always ends with a damn ho (or assHOle) who wreaks havoc on their happiness. oh i love it. but to truly understand the depths of a love triangle, we must go to the ultimate of not just love triangles but couples too:

    try and argue with me that this is not the best couple ever and i will have an army of angry bitches (led by jamie "go for the GOLDschmidt" g) to back me up. these two had it all: the physical attraction, the emotional connection, the drama, drama, drama. honey, i have four words for you: brenda and dylan forever. nothing could tear these lovebirds apart. not angry flower pot throwing in front of a hotel. not skanky ass hos throwing themselves at mr. mckay. not even big bad jimbo walsh. but then, the biggest, baddest, skankiest of all hos flew into their lovenest when bren flew away to paris. this happened:

    the blonde bitch ruined the best couple there ever was in the 90210. what a selfish bitch. and what did these two have, honestly? just a hole and something to put in it. nasty ho stole brendas man by some late night canoodling in a hotel swimming pool. can you be any more of a ho? i didnt think so. they had no passion, not even a connection. miss taylor not only stole another womans man but her best friends man. that is only something the nastiest of nasty do. ive got three words for this one: bitch bitch bitch. and dylan. he was wrong too. he (or his pelvis) couldnt say no to the spring princess. im gonna say what i always say about guys like these: he thinks with his head, not with his head. read, think, repeat. youll get it. onto the next triangle:

    dawson leery/ joey potter/ pacey witter. this trio is funny bc a)the genders have been switched and b)the creek used to battle the 9-0 for the top spot at 9pm (that is just random couch potato knowledge). so, its the same scenario. joey and dawson are soulmates but pacey is the looker. damn. that is no contest. this was easy to predict bc joeys a ho. hos always go for the lookers and pacey is a 7.5 ~ 8 to dawsons 5. van der beek couldve had a chance if he looked more like sean bateman from rules of attraction or even mox from varsity blues but he was boring ol' whiny dawson. with the big forehead. he had no chance. sor daw. you lose this one.

    so my last love triangle is different from the rest bc its from a reality show - my favorite guilty pleasure - laguna beach. im itching for the dvd and new season thats scheduled for a july release! so here are the key players:

    stephen: a little too skinny for me but hey, these are 18 year olds. theyre skinny like that. he is the bmoc (big man on campus). the chill pretty boy. the chill pretty boy with a chill pretty boy dilemma: a hot friend and cute girlfriend. dilemma right? yeah, well those are the types of dilemmas you get when you grow up in the amazingly gorgeous laguna beach. oh. best show! lets meet the "dilemma" players.

    kristin: the girlfriend. cute right? cute girl with a little spunk. these two were broken up for a hot second so she could hook up with another guy right in front of dear stephens face during spring break in cancun. ha! but when kristin saw stephen run to his hot friend lc for a little comfort, girl snapped back and claimed what was hers before. damn. not only did she get ass from an outsider, she got her man back too. take notes from this one girlies. shes a sly one.

    lc: this is the hot friend. so hot. ok. thats a bad pic but seriously. this girl is h.o.t. its b.a.n.a.n.a.s. lc was the shoulder stephen leaned on (and im sure he was leaning on more than just her shoulder) when kristin decided to be a dumb spring break ho dancing on top of a bar in a skirt even the jiller would call too short(or would wear herself). oh lc. ive got one word of advice for you: stop the moping. stephen is not good enough for you. you are so money and you dont even know it. damn laguna. even though kristin and stephen left their relationship status as "open" when he left for college guess who he was waiting for in a san fran airport? l freakin c! from the clips of the new season though, i dont think lc and stephen get together (at least not for long anyway).

    you cant have good tv without a love triangle. just cant have it.

    Friday, May 13, 2005

    katie hearts gay men

    unless youve been living in a cave (or even if you have) im sure youve heard about the kiss seen 'round the world between katie holmes and tom cruise. you probably reacted the same way i did too: what? what? ew. yikes. what? publicity stunt. those were my reactions. so a week later, i have this epiphany and well ... lets just start from the beginning:

    katie holmes. sweet, innocent, down to earth type of girl. totally not a sex crazed vixen like most actresses in hollywood. shes even said she wants to remain a virgin 'til marriage. ha! celebs should never ever utter those words - even if its true - bc then every move they make is analyzed and those words become so false to the public. look at britney. exactly. what a ho. but katies a smart girl and her every move was not analyzed at all. she wasnt perceived to be liar, even when she did racy scenes in movies - shes even in skincyclopedia! but maybe it has to do with the men shes been with. she was never linked to the pelvisalicious jtim like the britster. hmmm. so lets get to the men shall we:

    chris klein. he first emerged with the critically and mickeypsho acclaimed flick election. he even says my favorite line in the entire movie: "my leg wasnt bugging me too much, and the weather was so nice, and every day after school lisa and i would go to her house to fuck and have a hot tub." fuck and have a hot tub. aint that a great combo. anyhoo, back to chris klein. miss holmes picked a good one for her first celeb relationship. chris klein is an all american guy. an all american nice guy. nice usually = gay. im not saying he is but hey, hes a pretty good looking dude. why isnt he going on a rampage pillaging dumb blondes in california? hes a single hollywood actor. oh yes, hes also a single hollywood actor who has an ex with a much better career than his. hmmm. maybe its bruised his ego a lil bit but still. go out and get some man ... with a man or a woman. whichever tickles your pickle. since we're talking gay here:

    "tommy can you hear me." damn rosie o. every time i see tom cruise, i hear that damn tommy song. so the gay rumors have been flying around for years with this one. hes never been seen with a man. so why is he gay? bc hes so damn nice just like chris klein. hmmm. see a pattern? my epiphanies are so intelligent arent they? so i have one more gay example:

    ok. so they didnt actually date. their characters did on dawsons creek but why did jack mcphee stray away from joey potter. bc he liked the same thing she did - penis. poor joey potter but miss holmes on the other hand, wasted no time after her breakup with chris klein. oh no. there was someone she was canoodling with before mr tom cruise:

    josh "bed head" hartnett. im sure he didnt get any of his bed head with her but you never know. that katie holmes is a sly one. and she knows how to stick it right to 'em. i just love how josh and chris were in that horrible movie together playing two guys vying for the same (amazon) girl played by leelee sobieski. hehe. i think chris' character ended up with the girl in the movie but guess who got the last laugh? josh. well, first josh then tom. katie holmes. another smart celeb. she should get with jtim.

    Thursday, May 12, 2005

    best buy

    shopping. this is how i shop - i go to the store, pick up what i came to buy, purchase, leave. simple shopping. im an in and out type of girl. no looking around, browsing the racks, trying on a million things, etc... i hate that crap. there are a few stores though that i can actually spend hours in. well, maybe not hours but definitely more than the 5-10 minutes it usually takes me to buy something:

    1. target - the store literally has everything you need from cds/dvds, to clothes(which btw i wouldnt purchase unless its bathing suits bc who needs to spend a huge chunk of money on a bathing suit), to food, to house stuff and it even has a $1 section. whats better than a $1 section?

    2. costco - anything in bulk just fascinates me therefore i can stay in there for days. days i tell you!

    3. best buy - lives up to its name. its true. we (meaning me and the sibs joinaclub and ichford and son) used to live with a cd/dvd nazi(aka the other sister) who would accost us if we purchased anything without researching it on the internet for the best price. yeah. n.a.z.i. so if we did buy anything, we would have to hide it and enjoy it in privacy. pretty crazy right. but best buy. you cant go wrong. best prices. and a great selection.

    i walked into best buy yesterday to purchase one thing and one thing only:

    the dvd came out on tuesday but since i was celebrating the aims bday, the purchase had to wait a day. so after i picked up my ari gold fix, i couldnt help but walk down the aisles a little and i finally picked up my fully baked wide screen edition of half baked. yay! but that wasnt the end of my best buy purchase. oh no siree bob. i perused the tv section of dvds one more time and picked up one of the greatest purchases ive ever made. ever:

    i love love love degrassi: the next generation but to truly appreciate the greatness of this canadian teen angsty drama, i had to buy the original series. oh lordy pick a pail of cotton i walked out with a perma grin. i couldnt wait to go home and watch the origins of joey jeremiah, caitlyn ryan, spike and snake. so so fun! i watched the first two eps last night. i loved 'em. as i read the descriptions for the other eps i realized that they kinda recycled some storylines for the next generation but hey, why fix it if it aint broke. oh those canadians. they know teen angst.

    Wednesday, May 11, 2005

    so hot they keep cheatin'

    so im sure youve heard already. i heard it first at perez hiltons site which btw is climbing up to the number one fave blog o' mine spot - currently its being held by trent aka pink. crazy. so yeah. the natl inquirer supposedly has pics of a man that is not jtim kissing miss diaz. so so great! ive been waiting for this day but alas, this rumor is supposedly false. heres a look at cammies pseudo other man:
    not too shabby. but hes married with a child. of course. name: shane nickerson - who also has a blog of his own. everyones bloggin'. anyhoo, hes the producer of cammies mtv show and thats how the rumors started flying.

    oh jtim. i truly believe hes so amazing(-ly good looking that is) that his girls go nuts about the thought of losing him therefore do the cheating before he can/will. i know, its sick but girls are loony. lets take a look:

    young love. aint it sweet. we all know the love in this relationship was 70-30: brit-jtim. totally. the britster would always gush about her perfect man while you knew deep down justin was with her just bc shes britney spears - mega superstar. i bet he was always looking for a way to escape and was relieved (but probably still a little hurt) when britster banged wade. mmmm. i dont blame her. so what did sir justin do? made millions from his "heartache". im sure he was aching. aching with janet, alyssa, jenna, and then miss diaz.

    im sure he was happy to be with her at first. her career just got really really superhot from the charlies angels flicks but like all hot chicks, im sure she got annoying. that dumb laugh. that bitchy attitude. it can get to a person. so much that the love ratio between these two is probably at 85-15: cam-jtim. hehe. but history does tend to repeat itself and what happens: off the heels of wedding rumors, the cammie and shane nickerson rumors start popping up.

    i love it! jtim is so damn hot he drives his women to cheat on him therefore not only does he get out of a relationship with a clingy annoying ass chick, but the blame goes to the girl instead of him. dont let his good looks deceive you. hes a genius.

    another celeb wedding

    atleast we knew it was coming. man, who is next this week? tom and katie? ben and jen pt2? we'll just have to wait and see.

    Tuesday, May 10, 2005

    (not so) simple life

    oh the way they were:

    bff right? so wrong. after a little tiffie that us normal civilians will never completely know about, miss hilton ditched her best bud and started lobbying for a different simple life:

    oy. i have nothing against kimberly stewart. i actually think shes kinda cool after i saw her on howard stern but the way paris dealt with this matter was very ... paris-like i guess. being all catty and making nicole look bad. dont be mad bc she lost weight and looks hot. supposedly (this is paris' reason for being such a biznatch) nicole was a jelo fellow about paris hosting snl but i dont believe that bull. i think nicole is taking her hot herself and focusing on her wedding to dj am. what a cute couple:

    maybe paris has lightened up about this whole thing since she finally has found herself a man too:

    paris and paris

    either way, her lobbying is getting her nowhere. but who knows. its paris "thats hot" hilton. that ho gets whatever she wants. how else can you explain her career.

    ari on dvd

    yum yum yummy. entourage is out on dvd today. i must get myself to best buy so i can watch my ari gold in bed. ahhh. i cant wait to go to bed tonight. yummy ;)

    gina married a hick

    its true. our favorite weight juggling actress is married. its no joke. i heard this from three very reliable sources: entertainment tonight, the insider, and perez hilton. i never wouldve thought it would be like this:

    just a few months ago, she couldve ended up with this:

    this just proves that life is a journey with a destination no one could predict.

    Monday, May 09, 2005

    brit rejected - twice!

    oh the rollercoaster that is the life of britney spears. girlie had two big dips(im not talking the kind she eats with her cheetos) this past weekend from two "close" friends (the word close is in quotation marks bc you really cant hear my sarcasm through these posts). one is from spit swapping - kabbalah converting - bad dueting mentor madonna/madge/esther.

    the britster asked her royal madgesty to be her babys godmother and mrs. ritchie turned her down. damn. maybe madonna will change her mind if brit feeds her baby kabbalah juice and puts that ultra hip red bracelet around the kids wrist. who knows. on to the next "dip":

    apparently, trashilera is still burned from her nonexistent invite to a wedding back in october:

    in the words of joinaclub - get over it! so youre upset that britney finally dropped down to the same level of trash as you and threw a wedding without ya. yeah. lifes a bitch and so is brit. i love it. who knew brit would end up with a trashbag like kfed and xtina would be marrying a pretty decent(but definitely not a looker) guy like jordan bratman. gasp. will aguihora actually have a classy wedding(san brit of course):

    yeah right. i can only imagine what kind of shape her dress will be. yikes, holes in places a dress should never ever have. we'll just have to keep our peepers open.

    Sunday, May 08, 2005

    damn mtv

    mtv. they know how to get ya. they are the kings of producing guilty pleasures. you know - shows you swore you would never ever watch and then a mini marathon later, youre addicted. its happened to the best of us. hell, it happened to me... again... yesterday! but with not just one show but with three - well two and a half. im embarassed to admit them but if i dont get it out of my system its just gonna rot my brain so here they are:

    making the band 3: why you ask? i dont know. im telling you its those damn mini marathons! and i also cant change the channel when there are people dancing on screen. oh the drama. oh the bad dancing. oh the even worse bad singing. you just cant change the channel. you cant even touch the remote. this season, the girls were so bad that p diddy only chose three (who arent even guaranteed a spot in "the band") and he is having another casting call for this new hot band hes supposed to produce. the man got all the right people to help him create this mega group - hes got johnny "new kids, bsb, *nsync, britney" knight: need i say more - and still no band. even though i'll try my hardest not watch, i will most likely be tuning in to the next season. damn reruns!

    rw/rr challenge - the inferno 2: actually, i was a little intrigued by the show even before it came on the air bc instead of the usual real world vs road rules or even boys vs girls, this season was good guys vs bad asses. interesting. but the cast was pretty bleak - no jake - so i didnt really watch when the season started. then, there was a mini marathon of this show too yesterday and who am i to turn down a mini marathon, especially on mtv. the next ep looks very entertaining. the miz gives brad an atomic wedgie and all hell breaks loose on the good guys team. hmm, and in the inferno will be the miz vs mini miz. who wants to miss that. not i. not. i.

    mtv cribs: i think i stopped watching this show after its first season. i mean honestly. who needs to watch this show when theres the fabuous life of..., its good to be..., you know. all those feel good shows for us non celebs. yeah. so i wasnt really watching this show yesterday. it was just on while i fed the dog but of course at the end of one ep, there were previews for the next new one and guess whos crib i will be crashin' on tuesday at 10:30:

    michael "sexy lexy" rosenbaum

    i havent watched an ep of smallville in months so i figured i would watch his crib. itd be interesting to see what kind of place this up and coming actor lives in.

    damn mtv. damn mtv! it sucks me in each and every time.

    Friday, May 06, 2005

    paula hearts contestants w/fros

    i know. i went from ignoring this season to posting about this damn show as if my life depended on it. im a loon. but i cant get enough. now we all know the ai scandal thats been floating around the news. paula loves her men:

    randy - theres no chance. the guys she goes for look like this:

    pseudo white boys w/fros. shes loves 'em.

    so justin "sideshow bob" guarini denies any sexual relations with the ai judge but corey clark is running with his story of trysts in her hot tub and whatnot. a money hungry contestant who got the boot for getting arrested. i missed his prime time special (which i will hopefully watch soon courtesy of jamie and her dvr box) but the boy was on howard stern this morning so of course i tuned in during my commute to work. corey clark wants justice. ok, i made that up but here are the facts. the boy got arrested for allegedly hitting his sister and the charges were dropped. so what happened to corey clark? he got the boot while he was among the top ten during season two. ok. fine.

    now this season, two contestants were also arrested - one for hitting his girlfriend and the other for cocaine and marijuana possession. were these fellas arrested? nope - they both made it to the top 5. the nerve!

    the girlfriend beater

    the toker/coker - haha

    im not saying what coreys doing is right but damn you people at fox and ai, stick with your policies man. if youre gonna give one arrested guy the boot, send the others packin' too!