Tuesday, November 17, 2009

inspired by karo

i was actually just gonna put the special mention at the end of my last post but then i read this weeks ruminations by douche dujour aaron karo and i found myself totally agreeing with him so i figured, lets write about it.

karos quite true rumination:
And, finally, as my parents’ 35th wedding anniversary approaches next week, I can’t help but marvel at what an incredible milestone it is. Especially since I’ve barely ever even dated a girl for 35 weeks. I don’t know what the secret to my parents’ success is, but it can’t hurt that they watch television every night in separate rooms. In fact, I think that’s one of their more brilliant moves – two DVRs equals true domestic bliss.

after reading this, i realized my relationship with my man can be perfect! the only major bump my man and i have is our tv viewing. we actually got into a fight about it over the weekend. here are the deets for you schadenfreudians.

saturday was a lazy day followed by g-stars bday party at her apt in forrest hills. getting there wasnt too bad. just 5 stops into queens on the e train. the walk from the train was nice too. i like doing simple things like walking with my man. plus, the party was fun. good food. good friends. good times. we were one of the first to arrive so of course we were the first to leave.

oy, i bet we werent the first ones to get home. yeah, 2 hours later, my man and i finally got our keisters on our couch. e train took forever to come then ran local and we had to transfer to the 1 at penn station but not without helping angry li-ers and reassuring them theyll make their train.

so, after our long travels, we sat and watched some tv. i actually had the remote :) my man was dillydallying on the computer. so i turned on talk soup and a clip of the carrie prejean interview with larry king came on. i wanted my man to watch this craziness especially since i talked about it with him earlier in the week. i said, now you dont have to youtube it, its on right now. but he started having his "i cant handle this" seizures so i changed the channel and chucked the remote at him. he started apologizing and i began my rant on how i cant take it anymore. while i was talking, my man put on tosh.0 (one of our new fave shows) and actually, hit rewind and played the segment over, while i was talking!

he thinks he can just say sorry and start watching tosh.0!?!?! so i abruptly walked away and got ready for bed. as soon as i hit the hay my man did what all women put down as advice for the bride to be at every bridal shower - he didnt let me to go bed angry. if he wanted to talk it out then talk i will. and i did. i vented out all my feelings about our tv viewing. although it did get better theres still a LOT of work there. i let him know that its been harder then i let on. tv viewing is such a huge part of my identity and i feel like ive lost most of it bc i really only watch about 20% (and thats a HIGH number - its probably a lot less) of the shows i would wanna watch. i compared it to him only being able to watch yankee home games (regular season). no cartoons, no other sports, no wrassling, no ridiculously bad action flicks. then i felt a lot better bc i got that off my chest and i know my man heard every word of it.

the fight actually made me feel great about me, my man, and our relationship. i looked back on that entire night and i practically fell in love with my man again. it was actually me bitching, not him, when it took us 2 hours to get home. and yeah, our fight got resolved bc my man took initiative. you know me, i probably wouldve held it in and then let it burst at the most random time which wouldve caused another fight. ugh, i can be such a chun sometimes.

special mention:
after spending an entire day holding gorgeous baby z
me: babe, can you massage my arm?
my man: is it gonna get me laid?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

lifes big three

*yes i know its been a ridiculously long hiatus. i have excuses that are actual facts to explain this hiatus but true or not, an excuse is an excuse. like my insightful bf says, "excuses are like assholes, everyone has one." i like my quote better, "success is like farts, only your own smell good." why are we awesome at potty humor? anyway, enjoy the recap of my life so far. what youve missed, why ive cried, the good stuff (or bad stuff since people generally enjoy reading about tragedies instead of joyous occasions - every human has schadenfreude).*

ive been ridiculously emotional lately. seriously. i cried (and literally couldnt stop) at a very happy gathering recently. and i genuinely was ecstatic for this person. no jealous feelings - not even a twinge - at all. i really think la herba may be the cause to my waterworks. like last night, i got home from work, took a binger and then watched that stupid khloe kardashian wedding to lamar odom. you know, the couple who got married a whole month after meeting each other. anyway, a normal ep of this show usually makes me gag at its stupidity (yet i still watch them like a horrible train wreck) but i figured ill get this off the dvr before my man gets home from class. yikes, i cried. like more than once. thats when i knew this crying thing was serious.

so i started to think about my life and where i am right now. why the crap am i crying at random moments so much? maybe im crying bc for the first time in a LONG time, i dont have any major complaints about my life.
maybe my hormones are confused bc im a chun, i ALWAYS have something to complain about. this year, ive learned to not stress about petty little things and somehow the big things in life fell into place.

i finally obtained the BIG THREE. you know, the main 3 things you need to be a happy (and considered "successful") adult - phase 1. im sure when kids get into the picture, there will be a phase 2 with a whole new list. as for the current list i should have, phase 1, i got it on lockdown.
  • job - ive had this on lockdown for years. this is the one that has luckily been steady for me. do i like my job? yes. do i want to do this forever? probably not. if i was asked this question 2 years ago, i wouldve said yes. this year though, i actually started thinking about the future. getting married, having kids. sure, leaving the office at 7pm is ok for now but i still find myself rushing home to my man. when i have a full family to come home to, i wont be kosher with leaving work that late. once the economy gets back up, ill have to start working on my career path. pave out the road to working from home. for now, im completely content with the road to my heavily decorated cube.
  • home - sure, ive owned my doto pad since october 2006 but i dont consider it official until may 2009, when i began to live there full time and splitting the bills in half instead of getting a lil help from my father and having my rude, idiot, selfish, irresponsible sister f-up my credit. not only do i have home on lockdown, its with a domestic partner :) i really started to enjoy domestic life once my man and i moved in. cooking dinners when i come home from work. lazy weekends with the entire city at our fingertips. and i actually started to think about decorating. im starting to understand and want matching towels in my bathroom, nice plates and bowls, etc... one of my fave things to do is grocery shopping with my man. it always reminds me that we're grown ups and its kinda fun too.
  • partner - this is the hardest to get and for some people, hardest to keep for others. ive learned you have to be a strong independent person in order to find the one to share your life with. to make it work, you need to be happy with who you are alone and just want to be with the other person, not need. no one wants to be with a needy one. my man and i are still going strong. this year was challenging but i think challenges are good. it shows how strong the relationship is and how much it can take. my man went from not working (for several months) to working and school. the complete schedule change threw us for a loop but since it was a good change, we went with the flow. ah, the move to doto definitely brought on a change. not just financially, which our wallets are smiling about, but tv time. ok, yes, my man is still a bit of a tv-nazi but i did break him in a bit. its so nice to have glee on the dvr.
even though i said i dont want to give excuses, i still want to explain my hiatus. i missed the whole summer plus half of autumn.
  • june - i blame work. remember i mentioned leaving work at 7pm. yeah that was considered a half day back in june. boring work fact: our fiscal year begins july 1st. so i somehow managed to launch 30 campaigns on 7/1 all while manually entering in these expensive campaigns into our new network. basically, it was a lot of work on top of more manual labor. average time i left work: 11pm. there were a few nights i left at midnight. luckily my man wasnt working at the time so he would pick me up and take the subway home with me instead of me shelling out $20 for a cab ride. thats LOVE!
  • july - june was launching campaigns, july was cleaning up any messes we made during our whirlwind work of trying to launch these bitches on time. oh yeah, and since 4/20, my man and i were virtually tree-free (totally free for my man, i would "cheat" if i was at jillers). i lost some weight from the lack of appetite and free time. best/worst diet. also, my man and i did a solid for my fam and dogsat gio for a week. what did we get in return? fleas. a year after we had to deal with bed bugs! bc jo decided to spend her money on cigarettes and starbucks instead of meds for her dog, we got fleas. did we get an apology from jo? no. i thought id have to use all my energy to calm my man down but when we marched to jos job (she got fired that night. thats karma bitch!), to get her atm card and give her a verbal lashing, it was actually my man calming me down. sometimes i still marvel at the fact that i can be related to such a piece of shit. like they say, you can pick your nose (i think i made an excellent choice on that, hehe), but you cant pick your family.
  • august - babies and brides. miss dee had her baby shower this month. the shower that was supposed to be at my parents house with food by dees mother in law and games and decortations by me. well bernice (dees m-i-l) decided to change the venue to her friends house (this was AFTER invites were sent out) and well, after a few days of stress, all power was relinquished to her. i was also (and still am) in a cold war with jo. i heard she lost a lot of weight from being a selfish irresponsible piece of shit whos on a ridiculously unhealthy and she'll probably gain all her weight back and more frozen taquito diet. the baby shower went pretty well and i still got to wear the hot sister crown (jo aint takin that from me!). my man and i went to his fam friends (a-team member) wedding. i believe this is the last of a-team weddings for a while - the only "single" a-team kids left are my man, his bro and stacey d. august also brought a bride to be. jennie! jennies relationship with ray is the longest that any of my friends have had with any of their significant others. they were acting like a married couple way before i even met my man. so her engagement was a crazy happy surprise. plus, it was a fantastic reason to get together with the syo girls.
  • september - ZOE!!! born: friday, 9/25/09 at 10:47pm. this whole month was just waiting for the most precious being i have ever met. dee would keep changing her mind about what week she wanted to give birth. the best man from her wedding and his wife gave birth in early september (and their baby was due a week AFTER baby kohn). i made her a spicy dinner 2 nights before she gave birth to help bring on miss zoe faster. and she did! water broke friday morning, the parents to be were at the hospital at 2pm. pitocin at 6pm, epidural at 8:30pm, zoe at 10:47pm. my man and i cabbed it over as soon as i got the birth text from brian. i visited zoe 3 times in less than 24 hours. zoe=love!
  • october - aka birthday month. my mans dad turned 60 on the 8th. we went to minetta tavern and got those famous $26 burgers. i hated to admit it but it is damn good. jiller turned 29 with bowling. my bro turned 20 with a brunch at perilla with me, my man and his new gf. and yes, hes loving nyu. my own bday, golden bday (29 on the 29th) was great too. massage and dinner with friends. the faj went to korea to seek out what he and maj should do with the future. they are currently considering moving to korea. that brought me to tears, on my bday. i thought i was cool with my parents moving away but i said before, ive been thinking about the future and well, the thought of my kids knowing my parents as the weird grandparents that live far away literally brought me to tears. and zoe already loves her grandmaj so mucheese.
  • november - yankees win the world series. woo hoo. and the moment that i mentioned in the very beginning of this novel-long post, happened this month too. JILLER got ENGAGED! we all knew it was coming but for some reason, i was still shocked... to tears. in june, jiller and tom had a housewarming party and thats when the "countdown" or "race" began. jiller mentioned she went looking for rings with tom. gayliestar and chris were also talking rings. so i thought for sure, by the end of the summer, one of both will be rock-in it. so when the summer ended and nothing happened, my mind went straight into zoe mode. when i came to dinner and drinks late, i was one of the last to find out and well, i won "best reaction of the night." i was so embarrassed when i got home that night. i mustve looked like such a jealous crybaby which is the complete opposite of how i feel.
when good things happen to jiller, you cant not be happy for her. jiller is one of the BEST people i know. everybody loves jiller. jiller is just a genuine and good person. tom is a great man who loves and treats jiller the way she deserves to be. i seriously have no bad feelings for their engagement, just excitement. i can daydream about my kids getting excited to see aunt jiller and uncle tom. hehe.

maybe the biggest change for me is the way i think. ive been thinking about the future, and even talking about it out loud. my relationship with my man isnt new anymore so i dont have to hide my daydreams about weddings and baby names from him. we actually talk about it. how gorgeous our children will be. what cities we would live in after he graduates from school. the music we want played at our own wedding (dj all the way! bands are overrated.). ive even wanted to spend more time with my family. yes. the chuns. well, im sure zoe is a big cause for that. i actually want to talk to my parents instead of just feeling obligated to. and yes, i totally want them to be a part of my childrens lives. all this stuff is phase 2 though and im still enjoying my time in phase 1.

thats probably why i cried. my friends are on their way phase 2. i kinda bugged earlier this year when the gormans decided to skip queens all together and move straight to li. they went straight into phase 2. phase 1 - city life. phase 2 - suburbs. the ring on the finger is basically the ticket for the bridge to phase 2 bc usually, people enter phase 2 with a partner (who wants to live in the 'burbs alone? yikes.). jiller got her ticket to the phase 2 bridge. i do not want that ticket right now. that ticket comes with a whole list of decisions to make (some people call that list a wedding). ive grown up a lot this year and i plan on evolving more next year so if that ticket is offered to me, ill accept it with huge grin... im praying no tears either but you know me, just the thought of it gets me misty eye.