Thursday, June 30, 2005

do i want to SEE that?

ah. its back. sunday nights on hbo. true, theres no more sex, but theres always entourage followed by lisa kudrows the comeback. im really starting to like lisas character valerie cherish.

yeah. the show has gotten mixed reviews. i like it though and heres why:

  1. the damn pose: she does that pose you see above with a little bod nod every time she gets applauded and when she leaves the writers room. part asian-like, part "im such a nice and respectful" actress, its annoying and funny at the same time.

  2. "note to self: i dont wanna SEE that?": catchy phrases. i love 'em. i love 'em more when theyre bad and repeated over and over again. i love the scene when valerie is rehearsing the line over and over again while having a snack, or two, or three, and then saying the line over and over again as she leaves the kitchen. classic.

  3. valerie is no phoebe: not that i have anything against phoebe. who can hate phoebe "regina falangie" buffay but valerie cherish is a character all on her own. maybe its bc shes been outta the biz for a while. her naiveness mixed with her ego is just so entertaining. plus, seeing how far she'll go just to be back - like adopting a puppy she doesnt even want - is sad and hilarious. man, i love these combo of emotions this show brings out.

  4. room and bored writers HATE valerie: one of them still tries to be nice to her while the other cant stand ms cherish and her "i was a huge star" ego. so great. he blatantly ignores her comments and ideas when she is unhappy with a line she has to say. so the spiteful writer changes the line to something completely indecent just to see her squirm as she says it. i love mean people.

  5. the dumb blonde has my name: not really but juna is valeries co-star on room and bored and her characters name is cassie. who lives with her aunt sassy. rhyming names.

  6. this isnt your average hbo show: gotta love hbo bc of their original programming and let me tell you, if this aint original, i dont know what is. i think the reason why people cant get into it is bc its so different therefore a little hard to follow. my favorite scenes are of valerie in her everyday life. her relationship with her businessman husband, her spoiled bitchy stepdaughter, and her frightened housekeeper.
so do i want to SEE this every sunday. i think so. its on right after entourage. its nice to watch a middle aged has been actress trying to make it back into the biz after watching a young hot shot actor trying to stay in the biz. the damn biz. gotta love it.

brown... bobby brown

i love my ew! the trusty site reminded me about tonights premiere of being bobby brown. i love it!

they say im crazy
i really dont care
thats my prerogative

i hope they show his reaction to the britsters remake of his hit song. i heard he hated it.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

sum canuck lavigning!

so deryck popped the big q to avril and she said yes. i like 'em together. sum41 are pretty cool dudes. and avril. i guess she'll have her "happy ending" after all. hehe. i had to add in a little cheese. oh those canadians. gotta love 'em eh. first this engagement, next is the season premiere of degrassi on friday. it looks so INTENSE! i love me my canadians. if i werent so proud to be a usa-er, id totally move up north.


so these past few weeks, ive been glued to my tv every weeknight at 9pm and not for a show on my usual faves - mtv, vh1, the-n, food network, e! - no siree bob. youd be surprised as to what ive been tuning into. ive shocked even myself, my fam, everyone!

yes. its korean programming. so last week, the fam actually had dinner in the same place at the same time. a little bizarre but surprisingly pleasant. my mother usually watches her korean dramas after dinner so instead of going to the gym, i sat down with jo and mom and started watching. it wasnt the sad faces that caught my attention but the subtitles. i know. i should be ashamed of myself bc i have to read the subtitles when i should be able to understand what theyre saying without 'em. hey man. i use the subtitles as a reinforcement for what i already think theyre saying but anyhoo, damn the dramas.

its sad for young women in korea who get married. they get hitched and then end up living with their in-laws. not a fun life. even though this drama entertains me so, it also makes me appreciate being an american. thanks mom and dad for coming to the states those 20 some odd years ago. without their corageous trip, i wouldnt be the fun care-free, person i am today and i also wouldnt be deathly afraid of marriage. not that im looking to get tied down any time soon but if i were to get married over there across the pacific, id be on suicide watch. jeepers. who knew the states would actually keep me from killing myself. ah freedom. gotta love it.

Monday, June 20, 2005

tomkat = bennifer 3.0 or demishton 2.0

oh tomkat. i try not to write or even think about them. we all saw it coming, they even dropped (or exploited) hints at us but i think everyone was still shocked (and probably disgusted) by the announcement of their engagement. their over the top pda and quickie engagement can only make us wonder one thing:

will tomkat turn into bennifer?

scary thought but as long as there is no gigli or even jersey girl in the future (i havent seen either bc i like my eyes too much to put them in a situation that will lead me to want to gauge them out with any sharp object thats near me), let 'em do what they want. oh, if theres a pink diamond on ms holmes finger or if tommy starts cruising (haha. i didnt even do that on purpose) katie around in a bentley, im gonna have to send them a warning letter with the gigli and jersey girl dvds attached.

besides. the more i think about, tomkat has a lot more in common with demishton. the reasons are:
1. whats a decade or two. oldies (tom and demi) with the youngens (katie and ashton)
2. religion is key. scientology and kabbalah. the oldies convinced their young lovers to convert. now thats the power of love (or a cult)
3. its all in the family. katie met cruises kids after only dating tom for a few weeks. ashton is around the willis girls so much they call him mod (my other dad)
4. couples bliss. demishton have been all smiles since they got together and tomkat have been more than just all smiles for the cameras.
5. its a business perk. so it was a big deal that demi made her big screen comeback in charlies angels full throttle but it wouldnt have been such a spectacle if mr kutcher werent right by her side. and lets face it, kelso wouldnt have gotten as much hollywood cred if he werent banging demi (especially since she looks the best shes ever looked). katie holmes wouldve always been known as joey potter but now its not just dawsons creek fans that know her name. as for tom cruise, extra publicity never hurts this man. especially right before his summer blockbuster comes out.
6. height difference. demishton = cute. tomkat = embarassing. maybe its bc my mom badgered the image of the man being taller than the girl into my head but yeah. maybe katie should get tommy some platform shoes as an engagement gift. dont want to look completely ridiculous at the altar do you. if you make it there anyway.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

never gone but...

bsb. so their album came out yesterday. i knew it was coming. i was actually a little suprised by their new single. yes. it still has the same bsb sound but the lyrics actually made sense. i guess there are no more swedes writing their songs. good for them.

but theyre not as big as they used to be. of course not. the pop cycle of the late '90s brought them to a ridiculous peak that can really never be topped or even reached again. i give them credit for being courageous enough to return. hell, *nsync didnt even attempt it - but then again, nick carters solo career was a bust while justin timberlake became an even bigger star than the very group that brought him into the spotlight. jtim must have crazy great karma.

anyway, the group is all growns up now.

who am i kidding. they look the same. howie still looks like a closeted homo. kevin still looks like a hot honky asshole. and my dear brian b-rok littrell still looks the same: innocent and adorable. nick and aj packed on a few pounds but thats what happens when youre a raging alcoholic girlfriend beater and a recovering druggie, respectively. anyway, this isnt about how the boys "evolved into men." nah, its about their return and how kinda sad it is.

a group who used to sell out tours in a matter of minutes is now having ticket sale problems. yikes. but you know a group has really hit rock bottom when they have an ep of vh1 behind the music. i caught the last half of it yesterday. i cant wait to watch the ep from the beginning. i love this stuff. i probably know most of it anyway as i was a huge bsb fan. was people. was one. oh but from watching just the second half of the show, they could have just named the damn ep behind the music: aj mclean. since most of the group was squeaky clean 'cept for aj. the bad boy with the really bad facial hair.

supposedly the first time he tried cocaine was the day they shot the video for the call. thats bull. that video was like the 3rd single from their 3rd us album. youre telling me it took him that long to go with the white lines. damn. why the hell were you in a boy band if you werent gonna snort everything you saw? someone doesnt know how to party.

anyway, the end of the episode actually had a nice ending: one with a positive outlook on their future. the group has reunited with the manager of all managers - johnny wright. mr wright has got a tough job ahead of him but if anyone can bring them back, its him.

itd be a miracle if i can sing backstreets back alright and actually mean it but for now, im just gonna listen to their new single in the privacy of my little office and shut if off when someone walks by.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

barker advice

britney. her pregnancy has been the biggest spectacle since... her wedding. but as the months pass by and we get closer to the birth of fetus spears, everyone is starting to think about not brit brit but the unborn child. oh lordy pick a pail of cotton we know this one is gonna be in therapy. i grew up in a regular home with a somewhat regular fam and i go every monday night. this poor child. i bet this one is gonna have his/hers on speed dial. so to help prepare spederline for the birth of her first and his third(that we know of anyway) ew asked travis landon barker, mia tyler, and some child therapist (see, i told you) for some advice to give to the trashtastic parents to be.

mia tyler - daughter of legendary aerosmith front man steve and sister of empire records closet ho liv - gave some good advice for the fetus to soak in. the therapist was a therapist but i liked travs advice the most. i think hes a great parent unlike his wife shanna:

the picture says it all doesnt it. trav looks happy and cute cute cute baby landon is all smiles too. cutest kid. "ma. i think someone likes aspargus." love it. look at atiana. looks so sad and miserable. shes holding onto shanna for dear life. so not surprised though. look at shanna just posing away. she seems like a nice lady but as a mother, she doesnt get a great score. lady sleeps all day, has her help do most of the work and then flies out to see trav on tour instead of staying home with the kids(and her help). ridiculous. travs the man though. always was. always will be.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

session story 1.0: best lazy sunday

gotta love lazy sundays. i havent had one in while bc i was one-two steppin' with the join and the jiller at the bdc but the dance sessions are over and so are my early sunday morning wake-ups. so i started my day the best way ever by waking up at the crack of noon and catching up with my goss mags in bed. then i looked up and over at my mini pile of dvds and noticed i havent watch my fully baked edition of half baked. so the day was set. a joint and a dvd. best lazy sunday.

i walked out into the backyard and had a session with my very pretty j so i could have a nice little high for my movie. i just wanted to relax and enjoy every little moment of my fun lazy sunday. oy! i didnt expect to exert as much energy as i was about to when the session was over.

so i walked inside and shut the sliding doors worried that i wasnt too high and noticed a huge bee-fly-insect-thing (lets call it b-fit) clinging onto the screen door. i also noticed it was in between the screen and sliding door. ew, there was only a couple of inches of glass separating us from the b-fit. i had to do something. ew. b-fit was naassty!

after a few minutes of heavy pondering, i decided to open the screen door a little bit and keep the sliding door shut, wait for b-fit to fly out and then shut the screen door when b-fit flies away. well. nature doesnt always agree with our plans* so you always have to be prepared to roll with the punches. and i did.

b-fit wasnt moving from screen door. he was climbing up, down, left, right - b-fit wasnt moving from the door and since i was anxious to see my movie, i just wanted this little fucker out already. i went outside and and knocked the screen door with a paint roller (my dad was painting the deck) and got b-fit off. yay! but my battle was far from over. b-fit was still alive but now clinging onto the to immobile glass door. the motherfucker was a stubborn little bitch.

so i kept hitting him with the roller but it wasnt even hurting him. then i knew what to do - i slid b-fit into the grooves on the door's floor and then slid the thin metal part of the roller over his body causing his head to fall off his enormous body. ew. i decapitated b-fit and then discarded his body (using the roller of course) in the grooves of my deck floor.

i put the roller away and walked back inside the house in shock at what i had just done. then i realized, wow. im pretty high. best lazy sunday.

*id forgotten what an integral part weather plays with your days plans. especially in nyc. the jiller, adam and i attempted to go to the nyc bbq festival yesterday after failing to get any food last year because we got there too late. we arrived at the park around 12:30 and just got discouraged pretty quickly. it was a combo of the neverending lines and the stifling heat that steered us away from the bbq lines to to shake shack.

i also planned on catching a movie solo later that night but when the bus was running late and it started to pour, i ditched palindromes for old eps of 9-0 at the peach pit. so the weather screwed with my plans not once but twice... in ONE day! you can never beat mother nature. you just gotta roll with her punches.

Friday, June 10, 2005

call me mrs g

i have had a crush on him since breaker high but oooooh weeee, those feelings came rushing back last night when i watched him last night at the mtv movie awards:

yummy yummy yummy! yes. i watched him on breaker high which only had one season and it was aired on upn. you know someones hot when you actually drop your remote and stay on that channel. oh, i was heartbroken when the show got cancelled but i knew ryan was great and he would pop up again. besides, they randomly air the show sometimes on wam.

ill be the first to admit that i never saw the notebook. i cant bring myself to watch a film i know for sure ill cry at. especially love stories. i may watch it though after i saw ryan claim his best kiss award with rachel mcadams. the reenactment of their kiss was so awesome. im surprised the camera guys at the show didnt shoot a reaction face from sandra bullock - ryans ex. did people already forget that they were together? they were the demi/ashton couple before demi and ashton made it somewhat acceptable. oh, hes always ahead of his time this one.

one of ryans best work is from the believer where he plays an anti-semitic jew.

not only is he b-e-a-utiful but hes just an amazing actor. this was an obviously troubled and confused character and he played him so well that you hate and feel bad for him at the same time. and also grow a crush on him. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i may need to change my title to ryan gs ho ;)

at breaker high id be

Click here to see which Breaker High character YOU are.

i dont think she ever hooks up with sean (played by the yummy ryan gosling) but if it were me, sean would be definitely be my boy toy!

Thursday, June 09, 2005

wienerdog 2.0 (or 1.5)

one of my all time favorite movies

wienerdog. brandon mccarthy. steve rodgers. missy wiener. whats not to love? that todd solondz is a witty one. i saw happiness a few years after dollhouse and got a little creeped out. then the jiller called and was telling me about his latest film called palindromes. its a spawn off of dollhouse. how could i not see this. but ah, this isn't just another movie im going to see. its another movie im going to see alone. ive made a movie date with and for myself this saturday. i am so elite and i dont even know it. (actually, i do!)

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

a dream movie, eh?

my favorite canadians are hitting the big screen (and no. not tom green or jason priestley - who, lets face it, the big screen has not been so nice to them):

i read it first from the thighmaster who labeled the article link as feels like whenever I hear news about kevin smith, it's bad news. you can imagine the excitement i had this morning when i clicked the link to read that my degrass-ites would be hitting the big screen. the news seems to be true. i checked out another article from dark horizons aboot it and supposedly the shows been getting complaints about it being too racy or whatnot.

i still havent seen the eps of degrassi with k-smith and jay mewes bc the-n is slower than ctv but when those do finally air in the us in july, ill be watching.
mr smith - you better not screw this up like your last film. then again, jlo wont be in this flick but if bennifer 2.0 make an appearance of any kind im gonna have to venture off to red bank myself and go oren-ishii on your ass.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005


there are just some channels i overlook. even when i channel surf, i surf with tunnel vision - only focusing on my fave channels (mtv, vh1, e!, nick, disney, the-n, tbs, hbo, food network, and comedy central) - and i only rarely tune into a different station when something sparks my attention (and theres nothing else on tv). ive heard of bravo before. where else would i watch my random eps of queer eye and celebrity poker showdown. but i'll be honest with you, i dont even know what channel number bravo is on my tv. sad right? im surprised at myself for not making bravo one of my faves considering its home to inside the actors studio and the probably soon to be defunct project greenlight (which i actually watched faithfully for their first two seasons on hbo). but after reading a very education article on about shows to watch this summer, i noticed the ones i would like were on bravo. well, heres the upcoming lineup:

sean hayes has got a project greenlight type show of his own. called situation comedy he is joined by his producing partner todd milliner to find the newest sitcom writer. contestants submitted their work through here and then the number of scripts gets whittled down to 10 semifinalists. after the semifinalists pitch their shows to the pros, the 10 gets cut down to 2 who then get to shoot a 15 minute pilot. the grand prize winner gets $25K plus 1 year representation from either william morris or caa. wowie zowie. im excited. i actually may watch this one. maybe. im guessing its harder to do comedy than lets say horror or drama like the "films" (i use quotation marks to mark my sarcasm) from project greenlight but who knows. its reality tv - anything can happen.

speaking of anything can happen. being bobby brown. bobby, whitney, and bobbi kristina. that poor child. both parents had it all: fame, talent, success, and it all went to d.r.u.g.s. remember, crack is the poor persons drug. if you wanna keep it real, go with the lines. the white lines. ill probably tune into the first ep(if i even remember) and im assuming ill get so scared by them that i wont tune in after that. but who knows, even though i was literally nauseous watching chaotic i still find myself watching the reruns on mtv. damn mtv reruns. they suck you in every time.

and speaking of sucking, the mother of the most famous c*** sucker has a reality show of her own. kathy hilton (mother of paris) is starring in her own reverse simple life called i want to be a hilton featuring 14 hillbillies competing to be a socialite with help from the mrs. mama wants her time in the spotlight too. fighting for attention in that family is outta control. nicky had to get married to some bald guy to get some media coverage her way but when youre up against paris, you just cant win. especially now since shes joined forces with another paris. paris squared.

im most excited for kathy griffin: my life on the d-list. kathy griffin rocks. who didnt love her on celebrity mole?! i love how she knows shes d-list and shes not afraid to embrace it. shes definitely one of my favorite underrated comedians. her and andy dick. you know you love andy dick as annoying as he is. i love andy dick the most when he channels in:
daphne aguilera. naughty baby did a no no. no no.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

h.b. tv

h.b. tv - has been television. yeah man. its come down to this. i was wondering how i was going to wait for the very much anticipated first ep of entourages second season - sunday night 9pm on hbo. lo and behold for d list celebs anxious for any air time. what would we do without them. so, we have three new shows to look forward to. two which are debuting this week! im so excited youd think i just ran into gideon or something. ok. im not that excited but here we go!

dancing with the stars. everyones been talking about it. even howard stern. hes actually looking forward to it and will be watching it tonight. jeepers, i cant wait to hear his comments during my commute tomorrow. so the show pairs six celebs with six professional dancers and each week, theres a live dance off with judges and us - the viewers - voting off the worst pair. yay! its like idol for reject celebs. so fun. here are the celeb contestants (bc who really cares about the pro dancers, honestly?):

trista "i cant get enough press" rehn/sutter. the bachelorette who actually stayed with the man she chose. hmmm. so after her million dollar wedding of ridiculous amounts of pink roses and whatnot, the girl actually laid low for a lil bit. we all knew she was bound to come back though. girlie loves the camera.

rachel "rods ex" hunter. staceys mom has got the reality tv fever. i guess shes making a step up though - from the real gilligans island - then again, any show (even on upn) would be a step up from that piece of reality crap. oh rachel. the sun mustve dried up her brain. anyhoo, this lady claims she was a dancer back in the day - before she was whisked away to become an international supermodel and pull a christie brinkley by marrying a musician whos twice as old and ugly.

kelly monaco. who is she? yeah. i dont know either. supposedly shes on general hospital. her character is sonny corinthos' pregnant mistress. i havent watched gh in years. probably since before college but i do know one thing. the sonny corinthos/brenda barrett/jasper jacks love triangle was one of the best in soap history. no prego mistresses. just pure love triangle-ness. i dont know who this kelly girl is but i do know this, i wont be rooting for her.

joey mcintyre. my fave new kid hands down. crap, i think i still have his doll/not really an action figure laying around the house somewhere. if you were a new kid, you knew how to dance. even the suckiest new kid (aka jon knight) knew his step by step. damn. but i think the best mover and shaker was jordan knight. even with his braided pony tail and high falsettos jordan knight couldve had a dance off with my jtim. maybe not jtim but you get the idea. joey mac. im rootin for him.

evander "1 & 3/4 ears" holyfield. the man can dance in the boxing ring but can he move on a ballroom floor? seems like everyone is most excited to see mr holyfield do the cha cha with a pro dancer. i dont know. just looking at his picture scares me. i may have to change the channel when he comes on. who am i kidding, ill probably watch him and end up being his number one fan. im weird like that.

john "j peterman" o'hurley. j freakin peterman. its so weird too bc i just saw the seinfeld ep when elaine meets j peterman for the first time. anyhoo, i just hope he gets to speak after he dances. his voice is soothing yet cracks me up all at the same time. now thats talent.

the next show im even more excited for. h1t me baby one more time. yeah man. and theres no britney. 80s pop stars get their second chance by singing their old hits and current hits too! oh man. im bursting at the seams with excitement. and the former stars are:

a flock of seagulls. "and i ran, i ran so far away." yeah. so did their popularity but it may come back. i wonder if the hair is still the same. oh the '80s. those were crazy times.

arrested development. everyday people. mr wendal. tennessee. those were fun songs. all sound like one hit wonder songs but theyre from the same group. interesting. my fondest memory of this group is winning their cd during a limbo contest at a bar mitzvah way back when. man. that was over ten years ago. ew. im old and now nauseous.

cece peniston. "finally. its happened to me..." maybe itll happen again. i used to love that song. i hope she sings a fun bust out current hit. maybe a kelly clarkson song. you know kelly can bust out. i hope cece does too. her voice is great.

loverboy. they sang "(everybodys) working for the weekend." yeah. im sure they even worked on the weekends after the '80s. poor guys. i dont know much about them. i just know that one song. hmmm. according to the shows website, this group is supposedly covering "hero" by enrique iglesias. as long as jennifer "i have to beg for friends" love hewitt doesnt pop up on stage to rub dollar bills against her body, im all for 'em. i love covers.

tiffany. the mall queen of covers. whos first single tops the charts and its not even hers, its a cover?! ok, there was kylie minogue with "the locomotion" but kylie didnt rock out in us malls now did she. oh tiff. shes had it rough. she had to get married to get jon knight(yeah the worst new kid) off her back and posed for playboy to help the sales of her record. yeah. playboy didnt do much but maybe this show will. ooh, i hope she covers brit, or xtina, maybe jessica simpson, even mandy moore.

there is one show thats coming out that doesnt involve some type of competition. a real reality show starring my fave weiz of all time:

pauly "squirly stub" shore! after a string of hit and not so hit movies in the '90s (biodome being my personal fave) he made a pseudo doc film called pauly shore is dead, i guess he decided to go where his fellow d list celebs were going - down the reality tv route with minding the store. so his mom started the famous comedy store and i guess hes taking over and figured he might as well have cameras following every move he makes. hey, a mans gotta make a buck right. btw, his website is pretty cool. i hope his show is too.

so there you go. three new shows to watch when youre not out tanning or roasting. yum!

hes baaaaack... and ive got perma-grin

oh my gideon. hes back. id given up on him weeks ago. mtv news thought they were cool when they changed the 10 to the hour format and brought alisha tyler to do the news. dont get me wrong, the girl can bring the news but i prefer getting my info from mr yago. yummy yum yum.
i nearly choked on my ralphs ice when i saw his amazing mug fly across my tv screen. ah, i finally found a purpose to watching reruns of the inferno II - and its not to see how damn catty those bad ass bitches can be to one another. nope. watching him for those 2 minutes brought back the reasons why i adore him so much. that face. those glasses. his yoda-like knowledge. his dry sarcastic humor. yeah. i got that all in 2 minutes. hes knows how to please.
and his enunciation. his news brief was a tricky one for those who cant enunciate. it was about live 8, not live aid. i dont remember much else of what he said. i was too memerized and stunned at the fact that he was doing the news. ive missed my yago. g g g g yago!