Wednesday, March 15, 2006

idol list

its down to the top 12. this is the home stretch. now youre in it to win it. so who do i predict is gonna win? this is not a list of who i want to win this thing because if that was the case then ace would sing father figure every week and the only difference would be the confetti that falls all over the stage when he claims the title. yeah, its a pipe dream but its mine. anyhoo, this is my time to try and go inside the minds of the usa and guess who they will be sending home each and every week. now, this is a supersize bonanza post because not only will you get my reasons for why each person would be leaving that week but also a recap of last nights stevie wonder-ful (sorry, i just love silly puns) perfs. without further ado... my predictions with who will get the boot first to who will go home an idol.

12. melissa mcghee
stevie song:
perf: simon said it was her best so far. the notes i took down myself read as follows: boring. boring. boring.
why shes still in the game: the only reason i can think of is shes got lady luck on her side. that or ryan seacrest rigged the votes last week so he doesnt have to look like a hobbit standing next to bball player ayla anymore.
why shes going: luck can only stay with you for so long. so long melissa. buh bye!

*interchangable pair* (theres two!)

11. bucky covington
stevie song:
perf: i like this song and bucky hasnt annoyed me as much as i thought he would in the past weeks. yeah, well the annoyance everyone else has been feeling about him caught up with me. he brought too much southern twang to this fun song. plus redneck dancing is scary.
why hes still in the game: rednecks love to vote. do i need to mention whos still in the white house?
why hes going: bucky is sucky.

10. elliott yamin
stevie song:
knocks me off my feet
perf: elliott brought out what he shouldve with last weeks heaven to this stevie hit last night. i loved that he cried when he met mr wonder. sensitive and talented. awesome.
why hes still in the game: so his face aint too great to look at but hes got a big heart and a great big voice. jiller says hes got a hip hop vibe. i like to compare him to the likes of a white jewy male mjb.
why hes going: we live in a superficial world. bad face = buh bye!

interchangable because: even though in my world, the majority is jew jew jew, we all know this country is red red red. trucker hats may be more powerful than yarmulkes.

9. lisa tucker
stevie song:
signed, sealed, delivered im yours
perf: if i could sing, id wanna perform just like her. fun outfit (love the belt!), cute little dance moves here and there, the growl! she does the growl!
why shes still in the game: good looks, good voice, cute personality.
why shes going: i never get chills when i watch her. plus there are two other black females in the game and they brrrrrriiiiiiiinnnng it!

8. kevin covais
stevie song:
part time lover
perf: ok, hes an annoying little shit who doesnt have a tenth of the talent any member of this group has but the little shit is entertaining. its fun to watch him because you dont expect that voice coming out of that chicken little body but he turned one of my fave stevie songs into a glorified karaoke performance.
why hes still in the game: the grannys call in and the bratty long island teens text there hearts away.
why hes going: his comedic presence can only keep him there for so long.

7. paris bennet
stevie song:
all i do
perf: theres a reason she went on second to last. all her performances come so effortlessy to her (or at least she does a good job portraying it that way). i think shes this seasons tamyra gray.
why shes still in the game: the difference between her and lisa tucker is spunk. paris has got spunk (and not the nasty spunk that other paris has probably growing in her nether regions).
why shes going: i think her young age stands in her way, that and the last black female whos got lungs the size of.... well bigger than paris im sure.

6. taylor hicks
stevie song:
livin for the city
perf: the songs might not be the same and the dance moves he pulls off could never be duplicated but his performances seem the same to me - fun fun fun. does anyone have more fun than him on stage? i dont think so.
why hes still in the game: america loves watching this gray-haired defintely cant dance dude just have a blast.
why hes going: the title is american idol. i dont think ricky nelson or david cassidy had silver helmets in their heyday.

*interchangable pair* (and its in the top 5!)

5. kellie pickler
stevie song:
blame it on the sun
perf: practically fell asleep watching her performance and she was the second one to sing! only stickler pickler can make a stevie wonder song sound country and let me tell you, that aint a good thing.
why shes still in the game: because america votes with their heads (thats between their thighs) and not their heads (the big things held up by their necks).
why shes going: country twang to every song? kill. me. now!

4. mandisa
stevie song:
dont you worry 'bout a thing
perf: she brrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggsssssss it! you want chills, watch mandisa.
why shes still in the game: she brrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggsssssss it!
why shes going: she brings a lot. a. LOT. a. LOT!

interchangable because: lets face it, we all know if this was strictly based on vocal talent, itd be mandisa hands down but sex sells (a lot!) so it all comes down to the big fat black woman vs the skinny stupid blonde.

3. ace young
stevie song:
do i do
perf: i almost cried, and not out of happiness. i put all my support in this one beautiful creature, praying he'll give a father figure-like performance and all we get is cringe cringe cringe. i still voted for him though. who doesnt want to see that face on tv next week?
why hes still in the game: hes is d-r-e-a-m-y dreamy!
why hes going: he cant do father figure every week.

2. katharine mcphee
stevie song:
until you come back to me
perf: this girl never disappoints. gave me chills (an idol winning requirement) and just brought it. i love her joss stone-y singing.
why shes still in the game: shes got white girl pipes with a black womans soul. shes the whole package - good voice, good looks, nice personality. soon to be overbearing stage mom not mandatory but comes with.
why shes going: this year, we want the winner to be a MAN!

1. chris daughtry
stevie song:
higher ground
perf: i love this song. its in center stage when jodi goes to another dance school just to take classes for fun and then she meets her black eyeliner wearing male dance instructor and they get it on. anyway, chris closed the show with a rockin performance. did you expect anything less?
why hes still in the game: easy to listen to, easy to look at. you so know his wifey is going bye bye after the show.
why hes gonna win: the idol title needs a hipper image and homeboy is gonna do just that. i think he may even break out just like my girl kelly (clarkson!) did.

remember, these are just my predictions of how its gonna go down. im sure ill hear a lot of complaints and all but remember, we're living in a country where jasmine trias was once in the top 3 and justin guarini almost won the title. you just never know how its gonna go. happy viewing everyone.

special mention:
ace young:
dude, i got to sing "naked' and 'ill be your daddy on national TV!

because of that, i still love ace.


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