Monday, May 16, 2005

love triangles

love triangles. who doesnt love a good love triangle? love triangles create the best drama. it always begins with a great couple and always ends with a damn ho (or assHOle) who wreaks havoc on their happiness. oh i love it. but to truly understand the depths of a love triangle, we must go to the ultimate of not just love triangles but couples too:

try and argue with me that this is not the best couple ever and i will have an army of angry bitches (led by jamie "go for the GOLDschmidt" g) to back me up. these two had it all: the physical attraction, the emotional connection, the drama, drama, drama. honey, i have four words for you: brenda and dylan forever. nothing could tear these lovebirds apart. not angry flower pot throwing in front of a hotel. not skanky ass hos throwing themselves at mr. mckay. not even big bad jimbo walsh. but then, the biggest, baddest, skankiest of all hos flew into their lovenest when bren flew away to paris. this happened:

the blonde bitch ruined the best couple there ever was in the 90210. what a selfish bitch. and what did these two have, honestly? just a hole and something to put in it. nasty ho stole brendas man by some late night canoodling in a hotel swimming pool. can you be any more of a ho? i didnt think so. they had no passion, not even a connection. miss taylor not only stole another womans man but her best friends man. that is only something the nastiest of nasty do. ive got three words for this one: bitch bitch bitch. and dylan. he was wrong too. he (or his pelvis) couldnt say no to the spring princess. im gonna say what i always say about guys like these: he thinks with his head, not with his head. read, think, repeat. youll get it. onto the next triangle:

dawson leery/ joey potter/ pacey witter. this trio is funny bc a)the genders have been switched and b)the creek used to battle the 9-0 for the top spot at 9pm (that is just random couch potato knowledge). so, its the same scenario. joey and dawson are soulmates but pacey is the looker. damn. that is no contest. this was easy to predict bc joeys a ho. hos always go for the lookers and pacey is a 7.5 ~ 8 to dawsons 5. van der beek couldve had a chance if he looked more like sean bateman from rules of attraction or even mox from varsity blues but he was boring ol' whiny dawson. with the big forehead. he had no chance. sor daw. you lose this one.

so my last love triangle is different from the rest bc its from a reality show - my favorite guilty pleasure - laguna beach. im itching for the dvd and new season thats scheduled for a july release! so here are the key players:

stephen: a little too skinny for me but hey, these are 18 year olds. theyre skinny like that. he is the bmoc (big man on campus). the chill pretty boy. the chill pretty boy with a chill pretty boy dilemma: a hot friend and cute girlfriend. dilemma right? yeah, well those are the types of dilemmas you get when you grow up in the amazingly gorgeous laguna beach. oh. best show! lets meet the "dilemma" players.

kristin: the girlfriend. cute right? cute girl with a little spunk. these two were broken up for a hot second so she could hook up with another guy right in front of dear stephens face during spring break in cancun. ha! but when kristin saw stephen run to his hot friend lc for a little comfort, girl snapped back and claimed what was hers before. damn. not only did she get ass from an outsider, she got her man back too. take notes from this one girlies. shes a sly one.

lc: this is the hot friend. so hot. ok. thats a bad pic but seriously. this girl is h.o.t. its b.a.n.a.n.a.s. lc was the shoulder stephen leaned on (and im sure he was leaning on more than just her shoulder) when kristin decided to be a dumb spring break ho dancing on top of a bar in a skirt even the jiller would call too short(or would wear herself). oh lc. ive got one word of advice for you: stop the moping. stephen is not good enough for you. you are so money and you dont even know it. damn laguna. even though kristin and stephen left their relationship status as "open" when he left for college guess who he was waiting for in a san fran airport? l freakin c! from the clips of the new season though, i dont think lc and stephen get together (at least not for long anyway).

you cant have good tv without a love triangle. just cant have it.


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