Monday, October 30, 2006

tick tock bday clock

big big weekend. i moved into the city AND celebrated my birthday (twice!) and halloween. needless to say i was b.u.s.y. and i got lots of alibis, i was busy, yeah yeah, busy. one of the main events was my bday/halloween party. been looking forward to it for over a month (thanks to our jewish grandma jamie for sending out the evite back in september!) and it was quite a success. true, i only knew about 5% of the people there but i still managed to enjoy my time. yup. there were a few moments of "when can i leave my own party" but those moments made me want to write out this timeline. a timeline of my bar tolerance. no, this isnt about how much i can drink before i throw up but how long i can stay at a bar before i wanna leave and either kill myself or the annoying bitches who are occupying my precious space. so if my memory serves me correctly (and it may not considering i spent some time with joe e tata before the shindig) here it goes:

  • 9:15 - arrive at the bar. reveal my revealing costume. exclaim "im nuts (for wearing this)" a million times.

  • 9:16 - 11:00 - take pics of the fab costumes. greet the 5% of people i knew with a "yeah im crazy for dressing like this" salutation. get drinks from the poor suckers who were unfortunate enough to be in my "youre buying me bday drinks" radar.

  • 11:01 - 12 midnight - countdown to my birthday. complain about the crappy music.

  • 12 midnight - soak in my birthday shout outs then rock out LIKE style!

  • 12:05 - 12:55 - say good bye to the party poopers who are leaving (and secretly wishing i could leave with them).

  • 12:55 - 1:00 - cheer for mike (penguin!) during the costume contest. (and secretly regret not entering.)

  • 1:00 - 1:40 - wish i could leave but knowing i should stay bc its still "early."

  • 1:41 - want to chop off my feet (thigh high boots look great but hurt!). get into a cab to go home and realize i only have $11. cab ride ended up being $10.60. sorry mr. cabman for the crappy tip.

now this wasnt just any ordinary night. it was a bday. and not just for one of my close friends but for me. now, the time limits for the parties i attend differ (obv!) depending on my relationship with the special bday girl/boy/whatEVER.
  • acquaintance/"friend" (and no, those are NOT wink wink fun quoted friends) - 15 - 30 minutes. if youre a friend of friend and the party is packed with a bunch of douche bags, im staying 15 mins max. if its not too crowded but the crowd that is there are still a bunch of douche bags, im still only staying 15 mins. the 15 mins may spill over to 30 if there are other people i havent seen in a while there aka people from high school, college, etc... 15 mins of trying not to be rude time + 15 minutes of bullshit small talk with strangers.
  • just friends - 45mins - 1 hour 15 mins. the bdays for the people i dont speak to on a regular basis yet still consider a friend bc if it really came down to the nitty gritty, id help them out and vice versa. we would have to check our schedules first but yeah, if we can, we help each other out. now, these people deserve more than 15 mins of my time. these people deserve at least 45 mins but no more than a little over an hour. like i said, we'd help each other out but not drop everything at the moment to help each other people.
  • close friend - at least an hour. my close friends arent just close friends to me. they really are my family. now, my real (aka blood related) family members consider picking out my flaws and discussing how they suck and why i suck because of them as showing me love. (now do you understand why i was in therapy for two years?) my close friends - my REAL family - not only make me feel like im the most amazing person ever, but they help me out (or point me in the right direction) when im not feeling so amazing. these people deserve more than an hour of my time. i try my best to stay as long as possible but since they know me so well, they know that an hour in a bar feels like an eternity to me.

i would do another timeline, an actual timeline of my stay at bars but since i havent done that in a while - go to a bar when its NOT someones bday - im gonna wait til that happens.

special mention:
and the rest of me ladies for joining me in yesterdays funtastic celebration.
go green team. medieval times rocks!


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