Sunday, June 12, 2005

session story 1.0: best lazy sunday

gotta love lazy sundays. i havent had one in while bc i was one-two steppin' with the join and the jiller at the bdc but the dance sessions are over and so are my early sunday morning wake-ups. so i started my day the best way ever by waking up at the crack of noon and catching up with my goss mags in bed. then i looked up and over at my mini pile of dvds and noticed i havent watch my fully baked edition of half baked. so the day was set. a joint and a dvd. best lazy sunday.

i walked out into the backyard and had a session with my very pretty j so i could have a nice little high for my movie. i just wanted to relax and enjoy every little moment of my fun lazy sunday. oy! i didnt expect to exert as much energy as i was about to when the session was over.

so i walked inside and shut the sliding doors worried that i wasnt too high and noticed a huge bee-fly-insect-thing (lets call it b-fit) clinging onto the screen door. i also noticed it was in between the screen and sliding door. ew, there was only a couple of inches of glass separating us from the b-fit. i had to do something. ew. b-fit was naassty!

after a few minutes of heavy pondering, i decided to open the screen door a little bit and keep the sliding door shut, wait for b-fit to fly out and then shut the screen door when b-fit flies away. well. nature doesnt always agree with our plans* so you always have to be prepared to roll with the punches. and i did.

b-fit wasnt moving from screen door. he was climbing up, down, left, right - b-fit wasnt moving from the door and since i was anxious to see my movie, i just wanted this little fucker out already. i went outside and and knocked the screen door with a paint roller (my dad was painting the deck) and got b-fit off. yay! but my battle was far from over. b-fit was still alive but now clinging onto the to immobile glass door. the motherfucker was a stubborn little bitch.

so i kept hitting him with the roller but it wasnt even hurting him. then i knew what to do - i slid b-fit into the grooves on the door's floor and then slid the thin metal part of the roller over his body causing his head to fall off his enormous body. ew. i decapitated b-fit and then discarded his body (using the roller of course) in the grooves of my deck floor.

i put the roller away and walked back inside the house in shock at what i had just done. then i realized, wow. im pretty high. best lazy sunday.

*id forgotten what an integral part weather plays with your days plans. especially in nyc. the jiller, adam and i attempted to go to the nyc bbq festival yesterday after failing to get any food last year because we got there too late. we arrived at the park around 12:30 and just got discouraged pretty quickly. it was a combo of the neverending lines and the stifling heat that steered us away from the bbq lines to to shake shack.

i also planned on catching a movie solo later that night but when the bus was running late and it started to pour, i ditched palindromes for old eps of 9-0 at the peach pit. so the weather screwed with my plans not once but twice... in ONE day! you can never beat mother nature. you just gotta roll with her punches.


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