my "vacation" - a natural disaster

literally. its been over 7 years since i have had a real vacation. just a few days dedicated to having fun and a little relaxation. a few days of not worrying about work, family, friends. a little block of time all about me. the aim and i had this discussion back in june. we both desperately needed to get away and wanted a fun getaway that we have never done before - a cruise. so we booked our 4 day cruise and quickly began a countdown. the aim had everything planned to a t. i just counted the days 'til we left for sunny florida. so to florida we left but the sun we did not see.

as we were about to board our fun song airlines flight to ft lauderdale, we got a message from carnival stating that our 4 day cruise to miami, key west and cozumel was now cut down to a 2 day cruise to nassau, bahamas due to tropical storm katrina. f-in katrina! i had a roommate back in buffalo with that name. i never liked that bitch and let me tell you, the katrina i encountered in florida wasnt any better. not only was our cruise cut in half but it was going to the one place i have already been too. during my last vacation! although the bahamas is a nice place to visit, this girlie was in the mood for something new.

now, as im the type of girl to just go with the flow, the aim wasnt having it. she was determined to get us on another 4 day cruise and was ready to fight. our fightin' efforts werent enough and a new cruise was not in the cards for us. so we were left cruise-less and stuck in florida, complete with a full blown tropical storm. i took my fathers advice and booked ourselves into a nice hotel. if youre going to endure a natural disaster, might as well do it in style. our hotel stay was nice as we lost power by 5pm, ate at the hotel restaurant with sweaty floors and freaked out during a fire alarm - it was a fluke.

the next day, we arrived at the airport hours before our flight was departing. not one to sit still, the aim put us on standby for an earlier flight. no use in staying in a state that we absolutely loathe any longer than we have to. then while waiting to see if we were able to hop onto our standby flight, i saw a familiar face and started to smile. i met my fave blogger extraordinaire and ultimate crush at the moment jake. after our perma-grin enducing convo, the aim and i heard our names over the loud speaker and were able to fly back a few hours earlier than expected.

got back to new york late afternoon friday and spent the rest of the weekend trying to forget that we were supposed to be on a cruise. got all dolled up saturday night and had a bar hopping night in nyc. the rest of the weekend was spent doing things i normally wouldnt do: visited the older sister with the sibs in yonkers on sunday and helped out jamie set up her classroom in queens today.

i return to work tomorrow. i didnt go on a cruise but i did learn a few things:
1. florida is the worst state ever
2. anything named katrina is the worst thing ever
3. high heels + bar hopping = a bad idea unless cabs are involved
4. westchester highways are confusing
5. being a teacher sucks

i feel like i should be wearing a shirt that says, i flew to florida and all i got was a crappy story about a crappier tropical storm. at least i got to end my "vacation" the best way possible - with a brand spanking new ep of laguna beach. if anything can make me smile, its the 'guna!

damn you katrina!

my first cruise ever and whatdya know, theres a hurricane headed towards it. i read about it here which is devastating enough but then i saw the map of it here and noticed its following my trip to a freakin T! how wonderful. enjoy a 4 day cruise - complete with a nasty hurricane. sounds so alluring doesnt it? im going home and doing a rain dance and pray that it rains up here in new york instead of florida and mexico. mexico is like the dryest country ever but of course when its time for me to pay a visit, its gonna pour. lets hope the people at carnival find a nice sunny spot in the middle of the atlantic so i can come home with a decent tan. thats all i want out of this trip anyway. a tan. i hate you katrina!

cruisin' and losin'?

havent been on a real vacation in years! years i tell ya! the last real vacation i took was back in the senior year - of high school! so you can tell how very very very very very very very (one very for each year its been) excited i am. ive had a countdown since we booked the damn trip. the aim and i are going on a carnival cruise and we leave tomorrow night. the thought of it just makes me smile and wanna jump and up and down. there is a down side though. im gonna be missing out. missing out on not one but two tv hits! i know im a loon but parting with my shows is like parting with a loved one. its sacred. so what am i missing:

degrassi bitches! not just any old ep of degrassi but the season finale. i knew last weeks ep was part one of a two part-er but i had no idea the part two would be the finale. and my poor craig. he runs away after ashley declares some space between them and he gets beaten the f*&% up! i know there are always repeats but i better be snogging with a cutie on the boat friday night or else my mind will wander to what to is happening up north in canada. carnival better treat me right!

sunday night. if you dont know what on sunday night you must be living in a cave or must be blind and deaf. this thing is so hyped up its ridiculous but then again, anything that is linked to the newly named diddy has be to hyped to the max. you know what im talking about:

the damn vmas! and it will be in miami again. too bad our boat doesnt dock in miami until the next day. maybe we will be able to see stars who party til 6 in the mornin. (r kelly anyone?) although the 2002 vmas will always hold a special place in my heart (jiller and i were seatfillers and sat behind avril) i think my fave of all time was the 9.9.99 vmas. it was held at lincoln center and hosted by chris rock. it was britneys first performance ever. bsb performed larger than life (not my fave but still good) and *nsync did their performance with britney. it was the peak of boy bands. my favorite vma performance will always be britneys strip tease at the '00 vmas. damn! xtina tried to upstage her by bringing fred durst up on stage with her. no one can mess with the body of brit. well the body of brit circa '99-03. after jtim dumped her ass her bod went from hot to not in two seconds. well i blame her weight gain on kfed and cheetos.

anyway, i didnt even watch last years vmas. who moves them to miami honestly. it was so skankass cheesalicious i had to boycott it but this year, since im missing it, of course i want to watch it. and im sure i can when i get back from my trip. its mtv. theyll repeat it 'til june (when the movie awards are usually on). i just want to see how fabulous diddy can make it this year and if gwen stefani will actually show. supposedly she is peeved that she wasnt asked to perform and may boycott the thing all together. ooh. celeb drama. what would we (i) do without it?!

anyway if you have a few g's in your pocket, you can always purchase tix to the event and watch all the glory in person. i bet itll be better watching it from the comfort of your own couch but as the saying goes, "to each his own".

denise fleming is NOT a tampon

of course i absolutely fall in love with a show when i watch its series finale. yup, series finale, not season, but series. but thats how slow i am. even at the urging of my friends, who are die hard fans, i refused to come into the city for their six feet under sunday nights. i now of course am slamming my head against the wall for not listening to them but hey, thats what repeats are for right. and you know a show is great when you can gain an emotional attachment to characters you barely know. shed a tear or two with them during some bad times (and with a show about death, you know there are a lot of them). and the acting is quite superb. so superb in fact that when i watched my all time favorite hbo program - entourage - i thought the ep was just sub par. even my man ari gold wasnt doing it for me last night. oh six feet under, youve got me under your spell.

i cant get into the whole ep, and no, not to spoil it for the unfortunate people who didnt catch the finale. its because then this post would take up a page and a half and too much energy for me to delve into. but i do have to express my astonishment for lauren ambrose who plays claire. someone please hand this girl an emmy or a golden globe. all the actors on this show are amazing but miss ambrose is just.... i have no words. seems like it was only yesterday she was playing denise "denise fleming is a tampon" fleming in cant hardly wait. then again, that yesterday was about 7 years ago, the year i graduated from high school. damn, time flies and man am i getting old.

so if youre so curious as to what happened on this fabulous ep, ew has a great review, as it does for most of my favorite shows. i will spill one thing though, the rumors were true and everyone dies but the way they did it was just... best show! answered every question but one which is (and im quoting michael slezak from ew here): "is it just me, or is maggie totally pregnant with nates baby?" no fisher is a tampon!

we need a hero

i woke up this morning with aching arms and a sore throat and began to remember the night i had with a chuckle. i couldnt have dreamed up a more interesting, eventful yet eventless night ever and it was the most fun ive had in a long time. what was supposed to be a simple dinner with friends turned into what couldve been an episode friends or as jamie put it, "a bad episode of joey" but nonetheless, laughs were had during a few moments of panic.

so the jiller invited the gang (jiller, me, jamie, gaylie, adam, aim, sharon, and tom) for a rooftop dinner at her 6 story walk up. thats right. 6 stories of ridiculous stairs that make you feel like youre climbing mount everest. but it was a beautiful night in new york city and who can say no to a free meal. everyone brought a bottle of wine each while i provided the comfy lawn chairs (and a little dutchie too). jiller and her bf tom made a delicious dinner of chicken cutlets, meatballs and pasta while jamie brought over her atkins friendly salad. good food and convos were had with our candlelit dinner. all was great especially since we all hadnt gotten together in a long time.

while jiller, tom and jamie were bringing the dessert, jamie shut jillers apt door behind her and locked us out. i wasnt panicking too much because ive got survival skills. i brought my stuff with me to the roof. but everyone started to throw hissy fits as there were some at the table to had to go to the bathroom (and im not talking #1) and others who just couldnt handle the fact that they were on the roof while their bags with their cell phones were downstairs in the locked apt.

tom came to the rescue as he got in contact with one of jillers roommates and left to go get her keys. not wanting to lock us out on the roof, tom made sure the roof door was unlocked before he left. so after a little more catching up, the aim decided to leave as she has survival skills like me too and already had all her stuff with her on the roof. we bid adieu to the aim and continued with our conversations. while we were wondering how much longer tom was going to take, we realized the roof door was locked. so not only were we locked out of the jillers apt, but we were locked up on the roof too! the closest fire escape was a full story down and none of us are crazy acrobats who were about to scale down a nyc apt building.

as soon as we started to panic we saw the roof door open and in came tom. yay! as we all yelled out to tom to keep the door open, the door shut behind him. so we were once again stuck on the roof. tom solved problem number 1: the locked apt door, but we still needed to be saved from problem number 2: the locked roof door.

looking back at the events of last night, the ending is something i think even margaret cho would be proud of. after much brainstorming, adam called the closest person we knew to jillers apt which was the beautiful brennan. our hero:
brennan walked six blocks up to rescue us from the roof. so a night that began as a nice rooftop dinner with friends, included two different lock outs and ended with a hot gay man coming to save us. even though he says hes saving 4% of himself for the jiller, we all still want to jump him. before, after and especially during the rescue. brennan is our hero!

nude jude

naughty naughty. caught changing out of his bathing suit at his mothers house in france. many have been saying hes not packing too much. no ones perfect. when youre that pretty, youre not gonna be blessed with a huge stick either. anyway, click on the pic or here to check out his goodies.

laguna triangles (theres two!)

we all know i love my love triangles. and my love for 'guna is ridiculous. i didnt think anything could top off last season, especially with the kristin/stephen/lc triangle but this season is getting pretty hot and heavy with not one but two i said two triangles - one of which includes the miss penis mentality herself, kristin. so with no further ado:

kristin: she baaaaaaack. this time the boy is talan and the arch-nemesis is taylor. does she have true feelings for talan or is she just bored and needs a new game to play? oh that kristin. her confidence is spell binding to not just the men she claims as her prey but the viewers too. shes the one everyone loves to hate.

talan: the little junior boy of last season is all growns up and he has growns up very very nicely. why do i yell, "damn! talan got hot!" every time he leaves my screen? oh, he would be a lot hotter if he doesnt fall for kristins evil ways but then again, he would look like a pansy ass if he keeps running after taylor. the decisions of a high school pretty boy.

taylor: the last side of the talan triangle. lets put it this way, picture talan standing a bit confused. theres a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. kristin is the devil and taylor is the angel. guys usually dont go for the angels though because angels usually dont put out. my advice for taylor is open up or pack up. this may be a losing battle.

i feel bad for taylor. talan is all up on her shit one day, even using the cheesiest pick up lines on the block, and then the next day, hes all about kristin. to me, everyone is a loser in this triangle and heres why - taylor wants talan but talan wants kristin and well kristin, who knows what she wants. damn girl started another game of laguna dominos. ah, but kristin doesnt ruin all triangles. this one is completely destructive all on its own, shall we:

jessica: pretty girl right? thin, big boobs, shes got the look but as for brain power, not so much. sure her boyfriend is hot but its as clear as day that hes just not that into her. someone send her the book please! even after her best friend kristin (the self proclaimed professional cheater) repeatedly tells her that jason is cheating on her, the girl wont let go 'til she has solid proof. well, if she really wants to catch him knocking boots with another chick...

jason: lagunas resident bad boy and worst boyfriend. i dont understand why he is with jessica when he clearly has no interest in her but like brodie bruces grandma used to say, "why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free" and well, he may be able to go to another place...

alex: girlie is a homewrecker and she knows it! i like to compare this triangle to a comparison used in my best friends wedding, jessica is creme brulee and alex is jello. why the hell would jason want a big bowl of jiggly jello (alexs bod is not that hot. shes not as thin as jessica and doesnt have much of a rack either) rather than creme brulee? im guessing because jello is more fun. and alex is all about having a good "home wrecking" time with jason.

i want to say poor jessica but i cant feel bad for someone who is that stupid. i only hope she watches this show and smacks herself every time for being such an idiot. on the other hand, she should feel lucky for being kristins best friend because we all know that kristin wouldve been all on top of jasons shit in a heartbeat. or maybe she already has.

the next ep is gonna be so intense youd think it was degrassi. alex asks jason to the winter formal and that bastard is probably gonna say yes. oy, i hope jessica grows a brain and dumps his ass or jason grows some balls and leaves jessica. that relationship is just so cringe-inducing.

so excited aboot it!

so i finally caught the manny/paige bitchfight ep of degrassi although i did miss the ep with their catfight. anyway, the newest ep featured kevin smith which kicks off a 3 ep stint with him and jason mewes (jay of jay and silent bob). i knew this was coming but what i didnt know about was the accompanying dvd that mr smith is releasing on november 8th.

you know where ill be that day - best buy to purchase my dvd. i love dvd shopping. especially for fun degrassi stuff. i gotta move oot to canada!

btw - the next ep is gonna be crazy with craig purposely not taking his bipolar meds. gotta love crazy teen angst. best entertainment!

tara reid - intellectual journalist

weeknights(and sundays too) are all about the 10pm time slot. let me break it down for ya:

• thursday: being bobby brown - bravo


• friday: degrassi - the-n (its on at 8pm too)


• sunday: entourage - hbo


• monday: laguna beach - mtv


• tuesday: real world - mtv (i got sucked into it with last weeks mini marathon - thats the mtv way)


• wednesday: ...

yeah bitches. wild on has a new host and a new title. youd think this is a perfect match. and it definitely is but what isnt is taras views of her new show. she wants be seen as a serious journalist on a cultural program. youre right, she nailed intellectual and cultural right in the head with this remark on one of her radio promos for the show: "i know how to say 'free beer' in 8 different lanaguages." if that doesnt scream genius, i dont know what does.

tonights episodes features two other intellectuals, paris and paris. we're gonna get wild with tara and the heir*-est couple of the world.

*lots of money - brain = an heir

shut up - i found it!

we all know i love the browns! my all time favorite scene of this season so far is whitneys rendition of shut up. (although the scene of the couple dancing in the hotel gift shop comes in at a close second.) the lip syncing, the singing along, the dancing, the editing. it is comedic perfection. so after much surfing and searching (the first week at a new job gives you time to do this) i finally found the clip! click on whitneys mug and enjoy :)

d:tng - it goes there

so my laziness from the winter blues hasnt really come to an end. even as weve past the midway point of summer. its sad. it really is. i think i can count the number of times ive been to the gym in 2005 on one hand! its pathetic but since my gym membership is ending soon (or it may have already) and daddy decided to add on to his midlife crisis purchases - a mint treadmill that will be delivered to the house on tuesday - i dont have to feel guilty about not getting enough cardio throughout the week. nah. i should just focus on keeping up with my shows. yeah. i really set high goals for myself.

so tonight is a brand spankin new ep of degrassi. well, brand spankin new to us who watch the-n and not our lovely neighbors up north who im sure have seen this ep last year. anyway, ive even been bad with my beloved degrass. i completely missed the ep when paige and mr o's (degrassis ta) relationship went public. i heard it was INtense as usual. and i only half watched last weeks ep when dylan tells marco he wants an open relationship. hello marco! all gay relationships are open relationships. different set of rules to go by man. dont be so upset.

anyway, tonights ep was practically made for me. jealous bitches get into a catfight and theres even a little cheerleading thrown in there. brings a nostalgic tear to my eye. yeah man. the ep is focused on the schools two biggest bitches and skank ass hos. fightin words 'cause these bitches be fightin'. lets get to the contenders:

paige michelchuk (played by lauren "like im gonna say no" collins): vindictive aint even the word. its paiges way or no way. man, the first few seasons of degrassi, she was the bitch to hate. walking into the school with the shades and "hottie" tank, paige ruled it all. she liked making peoples lives miserable because she could. people assumed she was a big ho but we realized during her freshman year that she was in fact a virgin, until dean from the rival school raped her. even though she said no, she still kinda deserved it. she walked into that damn party with clear spiky heels! if that doesnt scream stripper, i dont know what does. anyhoo, after that rape, she found comfort in the arms of spinner. she treated him like crap, didnt give him any, then dumped his ass. that is the paige way. her next boy toy was the ta. she just loves those bad boys. now the bad ass bitch whos ready for some fightin'...

manny (short for manuela) santos (played by cassie "she has my name but shes a real life skank ho" steele: manny. girlys got spunk. she, just like paige, likes to get what she wants. but unlike paige, mannys got an undying need to please others so she can also be a bit of a pushover. when you push past her limit however - rrrrrrrroooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrr - catfight biatch! mannys definitely a fighter. damn, she went after craig after he had a lovers quarrel with his gf ashley and started a scandalous love triangle that ended in an abortion and three broken hearts. well, craig and ashley got back together after craigs big bi-polar breakdown at ashleys fathers wedding to his boyfriend, (gotta love those canadians. they cover so many different topics in one ep.) while manny was left babyless and alone. going with what she knows best, to took another persons sloppy seconds - spinner from paige. but that didnt last long.

so onto the ep. mannys had enough of paiges "im the queen of the world" attitude and shit goes down. starts with cheerleading practice when paige tries to take the credit of mannys hard work. then prom queen noms are up and both are in the running. the two have a bit of a 9-0 moment when they discover theyre both trying on the same dress. bitch fights are the best and degrassi always brrrrrinnnnnnngsssss it! you know where ill be at 8pm tonight ;)

im pregnant! - thats nice, btw i slept with the nanny

i hated her. who didnt. shes gorgeous and snagged jude as soon as he finally got rid of his crazy ex sadie but you gotta feel bad for her. yeah, sienna is gorgeous and her movie career is picking up but jude put her in a pretty bad predicament. look at how they were:

so gorgeous right? you think to yourself, they would make the most beautiful babies. yeah well supposedly they are. a few weeks after jude announced and admitted to shagging the nanny word is out that sienna is preggers. for six weeks! maybe 8! gawker depicts what probably happened the best. supposedly the love birds told their close family and friends about the baby on board and then, only a few days after the baby announcement, jude spilled the beans about his affair with doughy nanny. hehe. sadie knew all along about the affair. i bet shes laughing about the whole sitch although she did offer a shoulder to cry on.

what is sienna to do? get rid of this gorgeous fetus or possibly ruin her great body and even her budding career to have the baby of the bastard who cheated on her. decisions decisions.

wanted: a bitch for two bitches

so these two hos mustve gotten crazy jealous when they saw one of their nemesis or nemesi (whats the plural to that anyway?) - miss angela - on a hit (a hit) show on hbo (entourage). true, girlie only had a small part playing a pr asst ho but girlie still got a real part. a real gig. good for her.

ive heard veronica and rachel decided to not join the next rw/rr challenge. thought they could get by on their t-shirt business. yeah, the shirts that they got to exploit for free on everyone who was on the challenges with them. ridiculous. theyre used to exploiting themselves anyway but now they want someone else to join them. thats right, you could be that guy in the middle:

instead of being on a reality show with at least 15-20 other reality show has beens, theyve squirmed theyre way to getting their own show and even have bunim-murray productions (the creators of real world and road rules) doing the casting and producing for it. these hos are so bitchy they have to search for a new friend through a show which of course only brings in "real" people anyway. im sure one of the requirements for being for one of their bitches is being bisexual and not being afraid to exploit it. i use that word a lot because its the only word that defines their actions to a t. capital T!

shes goin crazy - tryin be his lady

you know where i was thursday night at 10pm. watching bravos best show ever: being bobby brown. bobby brown is cool and he definitely needed this show but it should really be revolved around whitney, miss houston if youre nasty.

the latest ep had me laughing out loud and nearly falling on floor slapping the ground. that whitney. gotta love her. my favorite scene was of her singing along to shut up by the black eyed peas. man, the editing was genius. going back and forth from whitney singing in the car to bobby dancing like a loon. loves it! the show is on almost every day several times a day so theres no excuse. check it out! i know entertainment and this is it.