Tuesday, August 16, 2005

laguna triangles (theres two!)

we all know i love my love triangles. and my love for 'guna is ridiculous. i didnt think anything could top off last season, especially with the kristin/stephen/lc triangle but this season is getting pretty hot and heavy with not one but two i said two triangles - one of which includes the miss penis mentality herself, kristin. so with no further ado:

kristin: she baaaaaaack. this time the boy is talan and the arch-nemesis is taylor. does she have true feelings for talan or is she just bored and needs a new game to play? oh that kristin. her confidence is spell binding to not just the men she claims as her prey but the viewers too. shes the one everyone loves to hate.

talan: the little junior boy of last season is all growns up and he has growns up very very nicely. why do i yell, "damn! talan got hot!" every time he leaves my screen? oh, he would be a lot hotter if he doesnt fall for kristins evil ways but then again, he would look like a pansy ass if he keeps running after taylor. the decisions of a high school pretty boy.

taylor: the last side of the talan triangle. lets put it this way, picture talan standing a bit confused. theres a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. kristin is the devil and taylor is the angel. guys usually dont go for the angels though because angels usually dont put out. my advice for taylor is open up or pack up. this may be a losing battle.

i feel bad for taylor. talan is all up on her shit one day, even using the cheesiest pick up lines on the block, and then the next day, hes all about kristin. to me, everyone is a loser in this triangle and heres why - taylor wants talan but talan wants kristin and well kristin, who knows what she wants. damn girl started another game of laguna dominos. ah, but kristin doesnt ruin all triangles. this one is completely destructive all on its own, shall we:

jessica: pretty girl right? thin, big boobs, shes got the look but as for brain power, not so much. sure her boyfriend is hot but its as clear as day that hes just not that into her. someone send her the book please! even after her best friend kristin (the self proclaimed professional cheater) repeatedly tells her that jason is cheating on her, the girl wont let go 'til she has solid proof. well, if she really wants to catch him knocking boots with another chick...

jason: lagunas resident bad boy and worst boyfriend. i dont understand why he is with jessica when he clearly has no interest in her but like brodie bruces grandma used to say, "why buy the cow when you can get the sex for free" and well, he may be able to go to another place...

alex: girlie is a homewrecker and she knows it! i like to compare this triangle to a comparison used in my best friends wedding, jessica is creme brulee and alex is jello. why the hell would jason want a big bowl of jiggly jello (alexs bod is not that hot. shes not as thin as jessica and doesnt have much of a rack either) rather than creme brulee? im guessing because jello is more fun. and alex is all about having a good "home wrecking" time with jason.

i want to say poor jessica but i cant feel bad for someone who is that stupid. i only hope she watches this show and smacks herself every time for being such an idiot. on the other hand, she should feel lucky for being kristins best friend because we all know that kristin wouldve been all on top of jasons shit in a heartbeat. or maybe she already has.

the next ep is gonna be so intense youd think it was degrassi. alex asks jason to the winter formal and that bastard is probably gonna say yes. oy, i hope jessica grows a brain and dumps his ass or jason grows some balls and leaves jessica. that relationship is just so cringe-inducing.


Anonymous Brennen said...

I had NO CLUE you loved Laguna!!! So do I! We have to hang out more!!

12:52 PM  

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