cheers and jeers

remember this section in tvguide? it was a part of the first 15-20 pages or so that was in color; the rest of the little book was black and white pages with the evening guide in grid format (yeah, i usually replaced my schoolbooks with tvguide). i havent opened a tvguide in over a decade because we do live in the digital age with the guide right on the tv, but it used to be one of my fave reads. especially the cheers and jeers section. its kinda like how i felt this week. lots of ups and downs. pleasantly surprised to devastatingly disappointed. maybe its because i just read last week's ew issue that came with their own complete what to watch (tivo style) grid, or maybe its because you people want to know my thoughts on idol (it is mucho mucho importante), so heres what i watched this week. some were my regular shows, some were newbies. all emotions were the opposite of what i expected.

monday:
jeer: apprentice - basically sucked. i dont know what annoys me more. is it the donald with his annoying zoolander face and horrible combover that he refuses to change or his even more annoying mispronunciations of words due to his emphasizing the wrong syllable. maybe its the damn contestants. i think they get dumber yet cockier each season. theres no one im rooting for. fired and fired because it sucks and sucks.

cheer: supernanny - i never wouldve thought that id be more entertained watching little bratty children on tv as opposed to the apprentice that follows around "intelligent" people. who knew. jo frost kicks ass. even though watching the show makes me not want to have kids, its nice to know that theres someone out there who can tame those wild beasts. who knew you can be stern without any violence or fear. its interesting although ill probably go with the scream my head off/scare the bejesus outta the kids method when i do finally procreate.

cheer: gauntlet II - i cant believe i used to want to be one of those people. a real world/road rule-r who goes on these fun challenges. yikes. now the challenges are just downright embarrassing and more about the drama than who actually wins these stupid things. i must say, after watching the finale and reunion, i definitely hate kina because shes a camera hogging dumb ho and have much respect for derrick because he told beth she was a camera hogging fat ho right to her face. loves it.

tuesday:
jeer: american idol (the perfs) - i trekked it all the way to murray hill to watch the final 10 sing songs of this century. dis.ap.point.ed. seriously, could each contestant pick worse songs. im considering jumping off the ace bandwagon. i know i know. how could i. ill be youuuuurrrrrr faaaaather. hmmmmm. but homeboy has not brought it since father figure and his cheese factor was off the charts this week. even his sultry stare did nothing for me this week. i want my hot great ace back. i hope next weeks theme is george michael. for aces sake.

wednesday:
jeer: american idol (the results) - dis.ap.point.ed. not because lisa got kicked off. that was inevitable. even she knew she was getting the boot. but katharine. ugh, i had a feeling you were a bitch but you didnt have to showcase it to millions of people. your voice can only get you so far. homegirl shouldve been looking nervous and not pissed that she was in the bottom two. i personally think katharine was not in the bottom two but they threw her up there for shock value. does it really matter who the other two in the bottom 3 are anyway? as long as the one with the lowest votes leaves, who really cares who was right behind them. katharines gotta learn to show some attitude during her performances and put the bitchiness on the back burner when shes in the bottom 3. people never feel bad for sending a bitch home so dont be one.

cheer: lost - pleasantly surprised. seriously, i was about to give up on the show. it was getting too complicated just for the sake of being complicated but this weeks ep was heart poundingly intense. trekked it to chelsea to watch with my fave chelsea resident, adam! there was lots of yelling and rewinding (love that tivo!) with this ep. i dont want to spoil the ending for anyone who hasnt watched it but the ending makes it! and next week looks awesome with an evil harry goldenblatt. yes, charlottes harry. hes got an evil look. evil and evil.

thursday:
cheer: will and grace - i must admit im not a usual w&g watcher but i had to watch this week, miss brit was guesting. she did a pretty good job. her soft southern drawl could get annoying at times but homegirl did good. look good is another question. yeah man. maybe its the widescreen tv i watched it on (dad hates watching widescreen tv because he says everyone looks disgusting fat, and this was when we were watching the olympics. womens figure skating! now do you understand my weight issues?) but im convinced shes with second child. does feder-sperm kill brain cells too. jeepers and jeepers.

what i missed:
probably cheer: top chef - adam, i forgot to mention this show to you when we were discussing good shows on bravo. seriously, top chef is the tops and im not just saying that because i live with one. actually, one of the girls, lee ann, works at fci and the join has worked with her on numerous occasions. this show is damn good. i must catch a repeat of this weeks ep.

what i cant wait for:
probably cheer: degrassi (season premiere) - its not til next friday but i heard paige dykes out with alex. its another hour long premiere based around miss stuck up bitch paige michelchuk. shes had some crazy times at degrassi: rape, pot smoking during a college fair, and now a dyke out with degrassis bad girl. how could you not love this show. it goes there.

special mention:
jamie: i dont want some random jabroni.
17 days til we are bahama mamas. well, me the bahama mama, jamie the bahama grandma (with what im predicting will be a nasty sunburn. spf!)

its peanut butter feder time!

this is what britney married. im more turned on by the guy who created this thing. the editing is genius. i seriously laughed oprahs 50th style. no joke.

spice is nice

congrats to joinaclub!!!
spice market is lucky to have you.
congrats and congrats
mazel and mazel

adam and jiller: we'll make reservs as soon as the join gets her work sched :)

life is pain

its amazing how staring in the mirror can lead to such deep thoughts. ive been a little hard on myself lately. going on vacation in 3 weeks (vacation and vacation) and ive done jack to get my bod in hot bikini shape. i know how to get that nice line down the center of my belly: by painful painful crunches and core pilates ab workouts. the most ive done to make my belly as flat as can be is laying on it. seriously. it also keeps whatever bubbly i got in my butt from staying that way. that wont get me the results i want though. why? because im not really working at it. theres no struggle.

struggle is a word my parents like to use a lot. their favorite insult is telling us we won't get far in life because we havent struggled enough. people who struggle know how to survive. i hate that "saying" but as i walked through the glass doors of my office building, i realized that what theyre saying is true. i know there are a lot of overworked and underpaid people in the world but if you look at the wealthy occupations - doctors, lawyers, ceos - those people are making the mucho dinero because of the mucho work and stress they go through. and ive said this before and ill say it again, teachers deserve every single vacation they get. their days are much longer than the usual 9-5 days that we office mongers go through.

maybe thats why we hate celebrities so much. they work a few months at a time and get paid marvelously to look hot hot hot. they have the time and money to work with a personal trainer and have zone meals sent right to there door. where is their pain? maybe its their lack of privacy. they have to keep their bods smokin because they get photographed all the time. at premieres, awards shows, robertson blvd, soho, supermarket shopping, tanning poolside or at the beach, even just applying lip gloss in the rearview mirror. i guess celebs deserve the money they make too because when they fall (and they always do), theyre gonna need it to pay for their therapy bills. it must suck to be on top of the world and then have everyone ignore you.

so the moral is: anything valuable can only be obtained through hard work. yeah i know, thats depressing as hell. gotta work to live but like the other saying goes: cant appreciate the sweet without tasting the sour.

special mention:
i dont have any witty quotes for this edition but ive got a shout out and some great tv recognitions.

shout out: this ones for gena. youre definitely next on the list for a special mention t.

great tv recogs: jamie this is for you - since im tivo-less i did the switching back and forth with apprentice and supernanny. apprentice sucks but supernanny rocks. naughty corner! all i know is that if those were my kids, i wouldve smashed their bodies against the naughty corner and told them to shut the f- up and stay there or ill punch a hole in the wall using their heads. maybe thats why i dont have kids right now.

for the gauntlet II fans: even though hes 4'11, derrick got hot just from his ballsy honestly. haha. told beth shes the meanest f-in person he knows and even imitated her right in her fat face. loves it!

britney spears used to be my hero. heres a vid when (at least i think) her bod was at her finest. this is my inspirado and i must say best performance ever:

lazy monday

damn work a.d.d. took two 90210 character quizzes and got brenda for both of them. im so not brenda walsh and i definitely dont have a dylan in my life. then i took a third quiz (i like things in 3) and liked this result the best.

Which Female Cast Member of 90210 Are You? Kelly Taylor You're beautiful, but have had a messed up life and nobody really likes you.

Click Here to Take This Quiz Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

im definitely no kelly taylor either but i love the description. ha! brenda and dylan forever!!!

cheer and cheer

i never wouldve thought id be a lifetime watcher. seriously, lifetime is like the we channel. the programming is definitely based around women but instead of uplifting shows, they play tv movies about every single horrible thing that can happen to women: rape, adultery, kidnapping, murder. you know, the feel good stuff. i actually stopped on the lifetime channel this past thursday when i had a random morning session with jill r and a few hours to kill before i went back to work for the afternoon. lifetime captured me with a mini marathon of golden girls but made me a fan of the chan-nel with one of my new fave shows: cheerleader nation.

i know i know. i should stop trying to relive my "glory days" of high school cheerleading. yeah, this cheerleading squad did remind me a lot of my old team: same colors (red, black white... fight team fight. sorry, i had to.), same excitement and fun, same crappy football team to cheer for. only difference between the dunbar cheerleaders and the shs cheerleaders (at least circa '94 - '98): dunbar cheerleaders are kickass and win national championships whereas the only competition we won was when we threw georgias head into a chandelier. long story but all is true.

ok, so i have a tendency to watch shows about high schoolers (laguna beach, degrassi, old school 90210) but a lot can be learned through watching adolescents living their lives, whether its a scripted show or reality programming. watching cheerleader nation definitely brought up a lot of emotions and made me realize that yeah, my life can be crappy at times but there are others who live harder lives and still turn out a-ok.

my fave character so far is kaitlin. senior captain with a crazy mom. kaitlin injured her finger in the first ep and her doctors told her to stay off her hand for a month. coach was ok with the news and told her to just get better. her mom was a different story. she wanted kaitlin to still practice and perform. its her last year as a dunbar cheerleader and she doesnt want to her to miss out on her last opportunities. psy-cho! cheerleading trumps health? now thats just crazy. i love kaitlin because she has a functioning brain and knows her mothers thinking is warped. hmmm, does she go to jill r too?

scenes from the next ep shows one of the cheerleaders, ayrica, in tears after the regional competition. tears werent caused by a bad performance but from the lack of her parents presence. ayrica has a 4.2 gpa, helps her parents raise her 3 young sisters (ages 7, 5, and 1) and is one of the strongest cheerleaders on a national championship winning squad. i know how it feels to work hard and have no one show up to bask in the post work glory with you. appreciate what youve accomplished. sometimes parents suck and are capable of disappointing us.

watching the show really made me miss cheerleading. i didnt just join the squad so i could wear our cute uniforms to school on game days. i really enjoyed the sport. hell, i even went to a 3 day cheer camp with only 4 other team members (yeah, our cheerleaders were really dedicated). i miss the cheering, dancing, the stunts (i was a base of course), and tumbling. i miss the fun stuff that came with being a cheerleader (and no, we didnt automatically date/make out with the football players but if we did, i wouldve had dibs on #33. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm), like decorating the boys locker room for homecoming, painting our names on windows for spirit week, riding around in the motorcade, and toilet papering some "quality" houses. i miss that i had something to miss. the last football game, the last basketball game, last practice.

high school is such a weird and surreal time. every tiny problem seems like the biggest dilemma of your life. each day seems to go by so slowly yet the time just flies right by you. you think you will remember every little detail but as time passes, it all just becomes one big blur. i always get teary eyed when i watch high school graduations. it is such a life changing experience even though it is such a common occurence. you cant wait to leave and start a brand new exciting life but at the same time, it seems impossible to let go. maybe thats why i only have the fondest memories and feelings when it comes to cheerleading. it was the one thing that made letting go of my high school days hard. everything else just made me wanna run away and forget it all.

special mention:
while watching maureens protest from rent (the movie)
jo: is this how it is in the play too?
me: i dont remember.
jo: how could you not remember, its the weirdest f-in part of the movie?

constant quote of the week and probably next 3 weeks
vacation and vacation

they call me, they call me ro-ger!

i was gonna write this really great post but im a lazy ti li. i dont want to leave you hanging so heres a fun quiz to take for you rent fans and my results below. its kinda true its scary.

Take the quiz:
Which Character from RENT are You?

Roger
You are very defensive and don't easily let people in. You's rather run than face the problems in your life. Because you don't let yourself feel, you can't connect with the creativity inside of you. You's like to think you're invincible. If you let your guard down, though, you establish connection that last a lifetime.

Quizzes by myYearbook.com -- the World's Biggest Yearbook!

booked and booked

a vacation. a real vacation. its booked. i cant believe it. the moment after jamie and i booked it, i felt like a different person. funny how having a vacation to look forward to can be so overwhelming. can you blame me for being a little cautious? my first attempt ended up being a natural disaster (literally) and the second is what id like to call a really cool trip as opposed to a vacation. im the aim and i wouldve had a blast on our carnival cruise but mother nature had other plans for us. california with my brosef and pseudo brosef was "hella" fun (sorry, i had to add some cheese cali lingo) but of course the week i was in sunny la, the sun didnt want to come out to play. so this is it. a real deal the only thing on the agenda is sun sun sun type of vacation. awesome! but before i let my inhibitions run wild in the bahamas (all inclusive, meals, drinks, the whole shebang!) there are a few things i have to worry about:

the hot boys. im sure the island will be swarming with hotties. we are going in april, hottest spring break time ever... for high schoolers. i must remember that the last time i was in the bahamas was 8 years ago when i was in high school so most the boys that will be there will probably be just that, boys that are 8 years younger. must control my cradle robbing hormones. besides, i dont want to end my vacation with my picture on the side of milk carton. two words: natalee holloway.

drinks + sun = head in bucket. yeah man, i learned the hard way when i was on my last vacation (must i remind you, 8 years ago). we arrived at our hotel early afternoon and i went straight to the beach and downed the first fruity alcoholic beverage. after some loser from our high school tried to talk us girls, i went straight to the bar for another drink except the sand below my feet started to get all wobbly. oh yeah, i didnt eat anything that day, drank alcoholic and laid out in the sun for an hour or so. jiller had to walk me back to our room. yikes. note to self: hit the buffet before hitting the bar.

oh, we're halfway there! o-oh, livin' on a prayer... that idol airs in the bahamas. we're there when the gang goes from 7 to 6. will we be basing our dinners plans on around the show? if you know me and jamie then you know the answer is hands down yes! i hope cingular text messages work from paradise island. ace will need our votes!

so i have 4 weeks to get my bod into im walking around in a two piece and dont look like a lardass hotness. i started today with 30 minutes of yoga with the madre. i also watched the cabo ep of laguna beach to get me pumped. speaking of, is mtv waiting for season 3 and the hills to air before they release the season 2 dvd? i cannot wait to own the drama and stupidity that is jessica and jason, and really, the whole 'guna gang. 'cause perfect, didnt seem so perfect.

ps - kristin cavallari has got the greatest publicist in the world. shes really making her 15 minutes stretch. if i had more energy, id write a whole post about it.

special mention:
random cant hardly wait quote
foreign exchange "sex ma-chine" student: chee-tah. rawr. (with the claw hand)

shout out messages
adam, i hope your brother is feeling better. we must get together this week. shake shack and idol perhaps?

aim, weekend, weekend, how was your weekend? we also must get together this week. got a "special" gift for you.

for the taylor fans

he didnt always have a silver helmet. i dont know how old he is in this pic but i found it on one of my fave sites, popsugar. popsugar. how come you taste so good now. yeah, ive been listening to the stones lately. and yes, thats a harmonica in his hand.

rant and reflection

rant: jamie, its all your fault - a cyclical story with a slightly frightening ending

it all started last night. i realized this is the first season of idol that i have watched this intently from the beginning (the top 12 is the beginning. anything before that is just time filler.) so anyway, i wasnt gonna watch the show and even went to best buy around 8pm but jamie called me while i was at the store and girlie convinced me to watch. of course, we called each other as soon as ace was put in the bottom 3. anyhoo, after we were relieved by the results, we started talking vacation. destination: who cares we just want all inclusive place with sun sun sun. she started looking online and i said goodnight and just went to bed.

so when i got to work today, i did my usual morning routine: read my email, do a little work and then read my daily goss. after i went to my usual sites i had this pounding feeling to start looking up vacations. even though my tax check wouldnt be able to cover half the price, i deserve one. a soak up the sun and the only complaint i would have would be the distance from my beach blanket to the bar type of vacation. so i looked this morning and jamie looked this afternoon when she got home.

got a call from her late afternoon and we searched together. of course, doing anything with jamie, we start busting out rent. and yes i was in my office. yes the one that i share with 12 other people. and no, that is not an exaggeration. so while we were singing i thought, hmmm ill listen to rent during my drive home.

so i get in my car and turn on the radio. check up on it plays so i keep it on. yeah i know so not me but i like singing along to the chorus. it has the same effect as singing along to mariahs we belong together. the fast but not so fast rap/singing. yeah, im a cheese. anyway, then it goes to a preview of the songs theyll play after the commercial break and its james blunt "beautiful", rihanna "sos" (which is becoming a fave of mine. again. so not me.), and that horrible song they play when the kick someone off idol "had a bad day." ew. i got so disgusted and remembered oh yeah, rent cd!

i turn on the cd player in my car and the kelly clarkson cd i was listening to this morning starts to play. so i decide to keep it on the kells and bust out. kelly clarkson songs are the best to sing in the car. not karaoke. scary. anyway, so im busting out and singing and singing and then i start to get a little sad. why? idols not on tonight. yikes. i think ive been spending too much time with jamie.

reflection: chronic single

ive got great friends. theyre awesome. without them, id be the biggest loser. but seriously, my friends are just straight up good, kickass, amazing people. makes me wonder why they like hanging out with me so much. yes ive got a rapist wit and brilliant mind that everyone would love to pick but what makes me so wonderful to hang out with. spend quality time with. maybe its 'cause im the chronic single.

yeah man. chronic (and no, not the green stuff although that thought did cross my mind as i typed the word in) single. 25 years, 0 boyfriends. sad. youd think id be a miserable m-fer to be around but lately, ive been the life of party. ok that part nots true but i have been staying out later and going home not wanting to kill myself. improvement. im not miserable, if anything, people love it when im in their presence. my chronic singleness has got advantages.

you want the truth? can you handle the truth? ill give you the truth because im an outsider who doesnt care about your boyfriends feelings and will tell you like it is. fine, if you ask me if you look fat in something, im gonna tell you no way (lie or not). if its a boyfriend issue, im gonna tell you the truth and tell you hes an asshole. when it comes to couple problems, im like a therapist. emotionally detached and ready to give you the straight up facts.

lovey-dovey. cross those words off the list of words to describe me. being a chronic single, you cant nauseate your friends with the gushy stories of your cutesy-wootsey boyfriend doing all this happy sappy crap for you. my reaction to people like that (in the words of gayliestar) go kill yourself.

wanna go out? who you gonna call??? me. because i have no plans. im always ready for a night out on the town. im a good clutch girl too. obviously theres a reason why im a chronic single so you can go out with me and not worry about me snatching your boytoy. i guarantee he'll check you out before or even if he does look at me. always works that way. thats when you can find me in the dark corner with some chronic. (you know i had to reference it one more time before this ends.)

do i want to be or even like being a chronic single? no. but im gonna have fun while i do carry the title. if only i can get a few distractions that could make me even think i wont be a cs anymore. that would be nice too. in the meantime, im looking up vacations. all inclusive!

vacation special mention:
cassie: donde esta? ill teach you spanish when we get there.
jamie: i know what donde esta means. i know spanish. casa. casa and casa.

jamie, remember to bring my cell phone charger. see you at beni!

relief and relief

ace stays! i had a feeling he was gonna be in the bottom 3 but my heart still raced as he stood on that stage. i knew as soon as lisas name was called that melissa was gonna bid us adieu. hello! im mad at myself for not mentioning her f-ing up the lyrics last night. what a mo. and a ho. heres a snazzy pic of a young shaven ace from this nifty site.
you can thank me later. yummy :)

idol list

its down to the top 12. this is the home stretch. now youre in it to win it. so who do i predict is gonna win? this is not a list of who i want to win this thing because if that was the case then ace would sing father figure every week and the only difference would be the confetti that falls all over the stage when he claims the title. yeah, its a pipe dream but its mine. anyhoo, this is my time to try and go inside the minds of the usa and guess who they will be sending home each and every week. now, this is a supersize bonanza post because not only will you get my reasons for why each person would be leaving that week but also a recap of last nights stevie wonder-ful (sorry, i just love silly puns) perfs. without further ado... my predictions with who will get the boot first to who will go home an idol.

12. melissa mcghee
stevie song: lately
perf: simon said it was her best so far. the notes i took down myself read as follows: boring. boring. boring.
why shes still in the game: the only reason i can think of is shes got lady luck on her side. that or ryan seacrest rigged the votes last week so he doesnt have to look like a hobbit standing next to bball player ayla anymore.
why shes going: luck can only stay with you for so long. so long melissa. buh bye!

*interchangable pair* (theres two!)

11. bucky covington
stevie song: superstition
perf: i like this song and bucky hasnt annoyed me as much as i thought he would in the past weeks. yeah, well the annoyance everyone else has been feeling about him caught up with me. he brought too much southern twang to this fun song. plus redneck dancing is scary.
why hes still in the game: rednecks love to vote. do i need to mention whos still in the white house?
why hes going: bucky is sucky.

10. elliott yamin
stevie song: knocks me off my feet
perf: elliott brought out what he shouldve with last weeks heaven to this stevie hit last night. i loved that he cried when he met mr wonder. sensitive and talented. awesome.
why hes still in the game: so his face aint too great to look at but hes got a big heart and a great big voice. jiller says hes got a hip hop vibe. i like to compare him to the likes of a white jewy male mjb.
why hes going: we live in a superficial world. bad face = buh bye!

interchangable because: even though in my world, the majority is jew jew jew, we all know this country is red red red. trucker hats may be more powerful than yarmulkes.

9. lisa tucker
stevie song: signed, sealed, delivered im yours
perf: if i could sing, id wanna perform just like her. fun outfit (love the belt!), cute little dance moves here and there, the growl! she does the growl!
why shes still in the game: good looks, good voice, cute personality.
why shes going: i never get chills when i watch her. plus there are two other black females in the game and they brrrrrriiiiiiiinnnng it!

8. kevin covais
stevie song: part time lover
perf: ok, hes an annoying little shit who doesnt have a tenth of the talent any member of this group has but the little shit is entertaining. its fun to watch him because you dont expect that voice coming out of that chicken little body but he turned one of my fave stevie songs into a glorified karaoke performance.
why hes still in the game: the grannys call in and the bratty long island teens text there hearts away.
why hes going: his comedic presence can only keep him there for so long.

7. paris bennet
stevie song: all i do
perf: theres a reason she went on second to last. all her performances come so effortlessy to her (or at least she does a good job portraying it that way). i think shes this seasons tamyra gray.
why shes still in the game: the difference between her and lisa tucker is spunk. paris has got spunk (and not the nasty spunk that other paris has probably growing in her nether regions).
why shes going: i think her young age stands in her way, that and the last black female whos got lungs the size of.... well bigger than paris im sure.

6. taylor hicks
stevie song: livin for the city
perf: the songs might not be the same and the dance moves he pulls off could never be duplicated but his performances seem the same to me - fun fun fun. does anyone have more fun than him on stage? i dont think so.
why hes still in the game: america loves watching this gray-haired defintely cant dance dude just have a blast.
why hes going: the title is american idol. i dont think ricky nelson or david cassidy had silver helmets in their heyday.

*interchangable pair* (and its in the top 5!)

5. kellie pickler
stevie song: blame it on the sun
perf: practically fell asleep watching her performance and she was the second one to sing! only stickler pickler can make a stevie wonder song sound country and let me tell you, that aint a good thing.
why shes still in the game: because america votes with their heads (thats between their thighs) and not their heads (the big things held up by their necks).
why shes going: country twang to every song? kill. me. now!

4. mandisa
stevie song: dont you worry 'bout a thing
perf: she brrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggsssssss it! you want chills, watch mandisa.
why shes still in the game: she brrrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnngggggsssssss it!
why shes going: she brings a lot. a. LOT. a. LOT!

interchangable because: lets face it, we all know if this was strictly based on vocal talent, itd be mandisa hands down but sex sells (a lot!) so it all comes down to the big fat black woman vs the skinny stupid blonde.

3. ace young
stevie song: do i do
perf: i almost cried, and not out of happiness. i put all my support in this one beautiful creature, praying he'll give a father figure-like performance and all we get is cringe cringe cringe. i still voted for him though. who doesnt want to see that face on tv next week?
why hes still in the game: hes is d-r-e-a-m-y dreamy!
why hes going: he cant do father figure every week.

2. katharine mcphee
stevie song: until you come back to me
perf: this girl never disappoints. gave me chills (an idol winning requirement) and just brought it. i love her joss stone-y singing.
why shes still in the game: shes got white girl pipes with a black womans soul. shes the whole package - good voice, good looks, nice personality. soon to be overbearing stage mom not mandatory but comes with.
why shes going: this year, we want the winner to be a MAN!

1. chris daughtry
stevie song: higher ground
perf: i love this song. its in center stage when jodi goes to another dance school just to take classes for fun and then she meets her black eyeliner wearing male dance instructor and they get it on. anyway, chris closed the show with a rockin performance. did you expect anything less?
why hes still in the game: easy to listen to, easy to look at. you so know his wifey is going bye bye after the show.
why hes gonna win: the idol title needs a hipper image and homeboy is gonna do just that. i think he may even break out just like my girl kelly (clarkson!) did.

remember, these are just my predictions of how its gonna go down. im sure ill hear a lot of complaints and all but remember, we're living in a country where jasmine trias was once in the top 3 and justin guarini almost won the title. you just never know how its gonna go. happy viewing everyone.

special mention:
ace young: dude, i got to sing "naked' and 'ill be your daddy on national TV!
because of that, i still love ace.

sfu ti li

i watched idol at jillers woodbury abode. i even took notes. but i came home kinda late and started watching an old school ep of six feet under. ive only really seen the series finale. anyway, so my idol super bonanza post will have to wait. im too mesmerized by the fishers. nate is hot! eric balfour is looking hot in this ep too.


stupid "i cant think of anything funny right now" special mention:
jamie: what is it, no spot day?
good luck with the parking.
call me later so i can hear about your night.
i heard the selection wasnt too tasty.

americaNSYNC idol

so of course i was at jamies this weekend and of course we watched idol over and over again. we had our usual fix of aces father figure (we cut it down to only watching it 3 times in a row), watched this weeks perfs (bc theres always someone over to needs the weekly recap), and then popped in the best and worst of dvds. jamies friend merideth (aka the mother theresa of our time) said every time she watches idol, she compares each contestant to kelly clarkson and in her eyes, no one compares. i said i totally agree (you know i LOVE kelly!) and then the truest words popped out of my life, "kelly clarkson is like the justin timberlake of american idol." then i started to ask myself, who are the jc, chris, lance, and joey of idol. here are my answers:

the superstar

justin timberlake: you know the album sales were as high as they were because his pretty mug was on the covers. oh but nsync was just the beginning for my timberlake. oh no, pretty boy justin rose from the boyband ashes and became and musical force to be reckoned with. his solo album not only sold millions but gave him the power to answer the possible thought of an nsync reunion with a big fat "SUCK IT!" this homeboy is in the upcoming flick alpha dog which got rave reviews at sundance and mr mickey parke himself (alex solowitz) on the roster. a few movies under his belt and another solo album on the way, nsync is just a mere memory for this talented southern gent. now if only he would lose that big tumor called cameron diaz...

kelly clarkson: you would think an american idol winner would be just that and only that. american idol, boyband, same stigma. clarksons albums not only sold millions (her current album spun out 5 hit singles ), they also gave her the balls to tell american idol to "SUCK IT!" when they asked if contestants can perform her songs. of course she sucked her answer back when simon scalded her for her disrespecting her roots. that naughty cowell might be nasty but the man is right. miss independent recently won two grammys and shot her latest music video which showcases her new flat belly. flat belly for kelly. yay!

the runner up (and still in the closet)

jc chasez: timberlakes superstar-ness may have come effortlessly but jc was also right behind him, singing and dancing ferociously. poor boy was starving for the spotlight that was always on jtim but had to settle for his shadow instead. either way, jc had his own little following that was bigger than the other (aka 3 useless) members combined. he was the joey (mcintyre) to justins jordan (knight). every group has one and he earned the runner up spot with his tremendous efforts. i think he could have a huge solo career if he was steered in the right direction... towards the gays. he can come out... and in bright colored leather pants.

clay aiken: i know. hes never won the idol crown but thats another reason why he is the runner up. that and his career is second fiddle to kelly clarksons. yeah man, hes tre successful compared to most of the other idol winners but he can never have a career as big as clarksons. why? because his image isnt in sync (sorry i had to) with who he is which is a gay man with an amazing singing voice. ill admit, his voice is better than my kellys but to be the superstar you must have the whole package. a closeted gay man is not a complete package.

the fat one

joey fatone: could it be anyone else? (although i have seen recent pics of chris and he kinda resembles the late chris penn. no joke.) joeys voice is pretty kickass. no joke. they dont just put any fool up on broadway to play mark in rent. so why didnt he have any solos in any of nsyncs hit singles. because he is f-a-t fat. cant sell records with a fat face in the center of the cover. its superficial but true. even though he looked like he needed an oxygen tank at the end of each concert, homeboy would always pull off the crazy nsync moves. fat vs jtim, jtim always wins.

ruben studdard: velvet teddy bear. big bear. very big bear. his voice is velvety smooth but i think the big man can only sing ballads. very slow songs. uptempo or midtempo beats are too fast for him to keep up with. seriously, you think hes on a mountain hike when you see him huff and puff his way to the mic. i really hope gastric bypass was in his idol winnings package. sorry 2004. that shouldve beens clay song to ruben because two years later, people still make the mistake of thinking clay won the idol crown and not what was his name again?

the ugly one

chris kirkpatrick: pumpkin head/really bad falsetto back up singing/short and annoying one. thats chris kirkpatrick in a nutshell. i think justin was probably more annoying but he was tolerated a lot more because who could really hate those bright blue eyes and chiseled arms, hot bod and southern charm. i felt bad for chris because not only was the ugly one, he was short, had a bad voice, and worst of all, he was the oldest. he didnt even have time on his side. nonetheless, he was a part of a multi-platinum record breaking boyband. hes earned enough money for him, his babies, his babies' babies, and his mother and sisters. did you ever watch driven: nsync on vh1. i always cry when chris' mom comes on and talks about how he just wanted to make money to take care of his mom and sisters. someone get me a kleenex.

fantasia barrino: ill admit it, i voted for diana degarmo. i know the baby mama needed the votes more but i couldnt stand to look at her cartoon dinosaur face any longer so i voted for the 16 year old who had her whole life in front of her. im a superficial bitch. even though her humongoid mouth scares the bejesus outta me, 'tasia deserved to win. her voice is pretty stellar and distinctive. not annoying macy gray distinctive but raspy illiterate b-a b-y m-a m-a distinctive.

dumb blonde with an agenda

lance bass: this boy didnt have the best moves. you know he didnt have the best voice. and the looks department was already filled by justin. why was lance in nsync? so he could makes tons of money and pursue a career elsewhere. movies, music, tv, lance has got a plan. he knows how to utilize what hes got and milk it for all its worth. hello! bass tried to go to space and not pay a dime for it. are we sure hes not part jew? hes made some bad financial decisions before (on the line, his nose job), but at least he doesnt stop trying (a stupid "odd couple" reality show starring him and fat boy joey). perserverence. hes got that.

carrie underwood: even though i havent heard her single on the radio ever, not even z100, this reigning idol is everywhere. candies ads, hershey ads, can you say cha ching! and thank the lord for great endorsements. always in us weekly, people and even ew, this blonde chica was even everywhere during fashion week. underwood knows that her idol career has got a shelf life so shes already keeping her options open. who knew rednecks had functioning brains.


"we didnt even smoke yet but we sound like idiots anyway" special mention:

in the kitchen reading a low carb recipe
jamie: wait so is a mixer like an actual mixer?

after smoking a ciggie in my car (her, not me)
joinaclub: do you have like a chewy thing with flavor?
me: like gum?

the idol theme begins in the living room, theo barks incessantly to let us know the show was starting. you know youve trained your dog right when he recognizes idols on.

3 reasons i wanna see...

three days of rain and no, i dont wanna see it because one of the characters is portrayed by a certain oscar winning actress. actually, what appealed me to this hot ticket play wasnt the hype thats built around it (and rightfully so, its julia f-in roberts!) but the other actors in the play. yummy and yummy.

who is that handsome face you ask? looks familiar but you cant point it out. that hottie is bradley cooper. i saw an ep of kitchen confidential a few months ago and was intrigued by this short asshole. yes hes short which is a big no no in my book but his face. damn good looking face. and hes an asshole or at least he plays one really well. he played a cocky m-fer in wedding crashers and im sure hes another asshole in the upcoming film failure to launch. so i decided to check his profile on imdb and this hot man was on sex and the city (i must rewatch this ep) and one of my all time favorites: wet hot american summer. i can not can NOT believe bradley cooper is in wet hot and i didnt even know it! who knew a person who can play the biggest dickhead so well can also pull off the fairy-est camp counselor too. that i must rewatch tonight! not just for b-coop but also for his three days costar and my reason number 2:

seriously, can this mans career get any hotter??? some know him as phoebes hubby, others as chers ex stepbrother, the meatheads will either know him from anchorman or 40 year old virgin, but whatever film hes in, he lights up the screen. c'mon! who else can make romeos archnemesis paris likeable in baz luhrmanns romeo and juliet. no one but paul rudd can pull the self pitying kevin in 200 cigarettes and have the audience actually feel a bit sympathetic for him, while laughing at him, of course. hes got a sensitive and deep soul. you can see it in his eyes. oooh, what i would do if i ever ran into him in the bustling streets of nyc. yes, hes on the short side too but i feel like i could let that slide if our paths ever crossed.

no, julia roberts still isnt one of my reasons to go see three days of rain. her hubby is though. theres like a slim to none chance of running into paul rudd on the streets of manhattan but the chances of getting glimpse of j-ro's hot hubby at the show is much higher. im sure hazel and phin have a great nanny to watch them so the hot hubby can support the wifey as she rakes in the money. ok, so i was a j-ro hater when she first started seeing mr moder. i mean, homegirl got a hold of him while he was still married. my daddy always said being a homewrecker is bad news bears. but after seeing countless pics of this cameraman, i wouldve done the same thing. he should be in front of the camera but a hot guy whos not hung up on his looks. julia is a smart woman. she snagged herself a winner.

so will i be occupying a seat at bways hottest new show? probably not unless someone would like to tell my imaginary boyfriend to take me there.

special mention reminder:
must look into the shirts while watching idol.

idol video of the week: ayla brown. not the best performance but wins best post perf convo with the host. is that gandalf and frodo or ayla and ryan?

chills

sorry mans. im a ti. li. just had a huge dinner at chee with the jiller. im like deliriously full. anyhoo, didnt want to leave you guys with nothing so heres something to kickoff the fun idol night at the gness-inn/peach pit after dark. he gave us chills. but we still love you ace! ive finally figured out who the yummy ace and saucy chris look like:

idol math

anson mount + long hair + rosy cheeks + sensitive soul + koolaid smile = ace young

vin diesel - 80 lbs - cheesy bouncer aura x better face + great voice = chris daughtry

special mention:
i dont have a witty or silly quote but a reminder to look up the shirts. its been almost a year so i better get a move on it to get them in time for the 1st anni of the blog. so crazy!

silly special mention

with oscars (which are pretty boring might i add) on tv, i cant concentrate enough to write a decent post however i will give you a special mention and a funny video for this monday morning.


silly idol special mention:
me: philipinos are like fake asians. they have big eyes and the girls have boobs and asses. fake asians.
jamie: so what are they, like fasions?
talking about recently ousted contestant jose "sway" (aka go back to color me bad) penala

i saw this vid on popsugar and just had to put it on. i cant hate this girl because her career is pretty damn admirable. shes smart, beautiful and talented. all good reasons to hate but i cant. all i can do is sit back and admire. stop the jealousy... the only green thing that is bad.