Thursday, March 30, 2006

cheers and jeers

remember this section in tvguide? it was a part of the first 15-20 pages or so that was in color; the rest of the little book was black and white pages with the evening guide in grid format (yeah, i usually replaced my schoolbooks with tvguide). i havent opened a tvguide in over a decade because we do live in the digital age with the guide right on the tv, but it used to be one of my fave reads. especially the cheers and jeers section. its kinda like how i felt this week. lots of ups and downs. pleasantly surprised to devastatingly disappointed. maybe its because i just read last week's ew issue that came with their own complete what to watch (tivo style) grid, or maybe its because you people want to know my thoughts on idol (it is mucho mucho importante), so heres what i watched this week. some were my regular shows, some were newbies. all emotions were the opposite of what i expected.

jeer: apprentice - basically sucked. i dont know what annoys me more. is it the donald with his annoying zoolander face and horrible combover that he refuses to change or his even more annoying mispronunciations of words due to his emphasizing the wrong syllable. maybe its the damn contestants. i think they get dumber yet cockier each season. theres no one im rooting for. fired and fired because it sucks and sucks.

cheer: supernanny - i never wouldve thought that id be more entertained watching little bratty children on tv as opposed to the apprentice that follows around "intelligent" people. who knew. jo frost kicks ass. even though watching the show makes me not want to have kids, its nice to know that theres someone out there who can tame those wild beasts. who knew you can be stern without any violence or fear. its interesting although ill probably go with the scream my head off/scare the bejesus outta the kids method when i do finally procreate.

cheer: gauntlet II - i cant believe i used to want to be one of those people. a real world/road rule-r who goes on these fun challenges. yikes. now the challenges are just downright embarrassing and more about the drama than who actually wins these stupid things. i must say, after watching the finale and reunion, i definitely hate kina because shes a camera hogging dumb ho and have much respect for derrick because he told beth she was a camera hogging fat ho right to her face. loves it.

jeer: american idol (the perfs) - i trekked it all the way to murray hill to watch the final 10 sing songs of this century. dis.ap.point.ed. seriously, could each contestant pick worse songs. im considering jumping off the ace bandwagon. i know i know. how could i. ill be youuuuurrrrrr faaaaather. hmmmmm. but homeboy has not brought it since father figure and his cheese factor was off the charts this week. even his sultry stare did nothing for me this week. i want my hot great ace back. i hope next weeks theme is george michael. for aces sake.

jeer: american idol (the results) - dis.ap.point.ed. not because lisa got kicked off. that was inevitable. even she knew she was getting the boot. but katharine. ugh, i had a feeling you were a bitch but you didnt have to showcase it to millions of people. your voice can only get you so far. homegirl shouldve been looking nervous and not pissed that she was in the bottom two. i personally think katharine was not in the bottom two but they threw her up there for shock value. does it really matter who the other two in the bottom 3 are anyway? as long as the one with the lowest votes leaves, who really cares who was right behind them. katharines gotta learn to show some attitude during her performances and put the bitchiness on the back burner when shes in the bottom 3. people never feel bad for sending a bitch home so dont be one.

cheer: lost - pleasantly surprised. seriously, i was about to give up on the show. it was getting too complicated just for the sake of being complicated but this weeks ep was heart poundingly intense. trekked it to chelsea to watch with my fave chelsea resident, adam! there was lots of yelling and rewinding (love that tivo!) with this ep. i dont want to spoil the ending for anyone who hasnt watched it but the ending makes it! and next week looks awesome with an evil harry goldenblatt. yes, charlottes harry. hes got an evil look. evil and evil.

cheer: will and grace - i must admit im not a usual w&g watcher but i had to watch this week, miss brit was guesting. she did a pretty good job. her soft southern drawl could get annoying at times but homegirl did good. look good is another question. yeah man. maybe its the widescreen tv i watched it on (dad hates watching widescreen tv because he says everyone looks disgusting fat, and this was when we were watching the olympics. womens figure skating! now do you understand my weight issues?) but im convinced shes with second child. does feder-sperm kill brain cells too. jeepers and jeepers.

what i missed:
probably cheer: top chef - adam, i forgot to mention this show to you when we were discussing good shows on bravo. seriously, top chef is the tops and im not just saying that because i live with one. actually, one of the girls, lee ann, works at fci and the join has worked with her on numerous occasions. this show is damn good. i must catch a repeat of this weeks ep.

what i cant wait for:
probably cheer: degrassi (season premiere) - its not til next friday but i heard paige dykes out with alex. its another hour long premiere based around miss stuck up bitch paige michelchuk. shes had some crazy times at degrassi: rape, pot smoking during a college fair, and now a dyke out with degrassis bad girl. how could you not love this show. it goes there.

special mention:
jamie: i dont want some random jabroni.

17 days til we are bahama mamas. well, me the bahama mama, jamie the bahama grandma (with what im predicting will be a nasty sunburn. spf!)


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