gold-en boy

my brosef. hes AWESOME! seriously, best kid ever. i love him and not just 'cause hes my brotha. hes got a rapist wit (just like his fave sis aka ME!) and talent to boot. although hes written many many songs before, this is the first one with his vocals. yeah man. not only did he write the brilliant and emotion spilling lyrics, the guitar and vocals are all him too. our pseudo brosef michael j is on the jingle bells and backup vocals during my most flavorite part of the song. anyhoo, check out the jam on myspace and/or purevolume - i highly suggest purevolume bc the myspace player was being a little wonky with me this morning. enjoy.

tick tock bday clock

big big weekend. i moved into the city AND celebrated my birthday (twice!) and halloween. needless to say i was b.u.s.y. and i got lots of alibis, i was busy, yeah yeah, busy. one of the main events was my bday/halloween party. been looking forward to it for over a month (thanks to our jewish grandma jamie for sending out the evite back in september!) and it was quite a success. true, i only knew about 5% of the people there but i still managed to enjoy my time. yup. there were a few moments of "when can i leave my own party" but those moments made me want to write out this timeline. a timeline of my bar tolerance. no, this isnt about how much i can drink before i throw up but how long i can stay at a bar before i wanna leave and either kill myself or the annoying bitches who are occupying my precious space. so if my memory serves me correctly (and it may not considering i spent some time with joe e tata before the shindig) here it goes:

• 9:15 - arrive at the bar. reveal my revealing costume. exclaim "im nuts (for wearing this)" a million times.

  



• 9:16 - 11:00 - take pics of the fab costumes. greet the 5% of people i knew with a "yeah im crazy for dressing like this" salutation. get drinks from the poor suckers who were unfortunate enough to be in my "youre buying me bday drinks" radar.

  



• 11:01 - 12 midnight - countdown to my birthday. complain about the crappy music.

  



• 12 midnight - soak in my birthday shout outs then rock out LIKE style!

  



• 12:05 - 12:55 - say good bye to the party poopers who are leaving (and secretly wishing i could leave with them).

  



• 12:55 - 1:00 - cheer for mike (penguin!) during the costume contest. (and secretly regret not entering.)

  



• 1:00 - 1:40 - wish i could leave but knowing i should stay bc its still "early."

  



• 1:41 - want to chop off my feet (thigh high boots look great but hurt!). get into a cab to go home and realize i only have $11. cab ride ended up being $10.60. sorry mr. cabman for the crappy tip.

  

now this wasnt just any ordinary night. it was a bday. and not just for one of my close friends but for me. now, the time limits for the parties i attend differ (obv!) depending on my relationship with the special bday girl/boy/whatEVER.

• acquaintance/"friend" (and no, those are NOT wink wink fun quoted friends) - 15 - 30 minutes. if youre a friend of friend and the party is packed with a bunch of douche bags, im staying 15 mins max. if its not too crowded but the crowd that is there are still a bunch of douche bags, im still only staying 15 mins. the 15 mins may spill over to 30 if there are other people i havent seen in a while there aka people from high school, college, etc... 15 mins of trying not to be rude time + 15 minutes of bullshit small talk with strangers.
• just friends - 45mins - 1 hour 15 mins. the bdays for the people i dont speak to on a regular basis yet still consider a friend bc if it really came down to the nitty gritty, id help them out and vice versa. we would have to check our schedules first but yeah, if we can, we help each other out. now, these people deserve more than 15 mins of my time. these people deserve at least 45 mins but no more than a little over an hour. like i said, we'd help each other out but not drop everything at the moment to help each other people.
• close friend - at least an hour. my close friends arent just close friends to me. they really are my family. now, my real (aka blood related) family members consider picking out my flaws and discussing how they suck and why i suck because of them as showing me love. (now do you understand why i was in therapy for two years?) my close friends - my REAL family - not only make me feel like im the most amazing person ever, but they help me out (or point me in the right direction) when im not feeling so amazing. these people deserve more than an hour of my time. i try my best to stay as long as possible but since they know me so well, they know that an hour in a bar feels like an eternity to me.

i would do another timeline, an actual timeline of my stay at bars but since i havent done that in a while - go to a bar when its NOT someones bday - im gonna wait til that happens.

special mention:
SPECIAL THANKS TO JILLER FOR HER BRILLIANT SURPRISE
and the rest of me ladies for joining me in yesterdays funtastic celebration.
go green team. medieval times rocks!

do to to club

i live in the city. whoa. joey russo style whoa! and im now the new proud owner of the not so new but looks like new (thanks mike!) joe e tata (thanks jamie!!!). ive been reunited with my boyfriend of '03... and it feels so good!

on a lesser fun but necessary side note: i wont have internet in my new NYC home for a lil bit so the blog posts may be slim to none for weeks to come. i will try my best to write when i can aka at work, but that depends on my workload and (lack of) inspiration.

in the meantime, enjoy this lil vid i found after my joey whoa comment. beginning credits for shows just aint what they used to be... quality!

frazzle dazzled ruminations

my frazzle dazzled mind has been everywhere. i cant keep a single thought for long so this post is gonna be a schmorgasborg of ruminations running through my mind this weekend. some are kinda douche-like hence the rumination title; trademark of the la douche-bagness himself, aaron karo.

• uti, why? so yeah, woke up friday a little nauseous and well, my trips to the bathroom that day were pretty unpleasant to almost unbearable. damn uti. got otc meds to take care of the pain but it nearly scared me to death when my pee was sunkist orange. nyaaaa! (read the box and thats a normal side effect.) anyhoo, spent saturday afternoon in the er (woke up late and all the clinics were closed) getting diagnosed and a prescription. woo hoo!
• so i have antibiotics and i have to limit my intake of the following:
  • alcohol - ok, i kinda wanted to raise my tolerance before my big party but considering i will be running around like a mad woman this week getting ready for my move, i think i can deal with not throwing back a brewskie after work.
  • spicy food - a slight bummer as my favorite condiment is hot sauce that i can pretty much put on anything; soups, sandwiches, pizza, pasta, but ill manage. ive already planned out this weeks daily food intake: salads and rice with seaweed.
  • caffeine - of all three, this may be the hardest to deal with. i work with coca cola. free caffeine is everywhere and you know how i feel about free stuff. but the smart girlie that i am, i know how to deal with this too. jamba juice. cranberry juice is great for uti's but blueberries are supposedly better. yay for blueberry jamba juice shakes. i love any reason to get me some jamba!
  now i must take these meds for 5 days and during those 5 days i must avoid sexual intercourse. that means wednesday = booty day. why do i think like such a man?
• ok i think like a woman too bc as you can guess, my last time with the btj was not the last time with the btj. im so weak! whatEVER. i thought it over and well, nothing bad or wrong really happened between us. why did i stray from my "go with the flow" attitude? well im going back to it. it brings the truth back to the "fun is fun" mantra. im just gonna ride the waves as they come and right now, im on a good one. hangin' ten. cowabunga dudes!
• so i helped my parents out and worked at their store for a few hours this morning. now, this store is in jamaica, queens. blocks away from where jam master jay was murdered and hometown of fifty cent (he got shot 9 times for the hip hop challenged folks). real safe area. anyhoo, things have been moving on up. they built a crazy multiplex cinema with a mini mall which includes a ballys gym (where the faj works out with his personal trainer; something i am dying to witness one of these days). so as i was about to cross the street to the store i saw a brand spanking new bank of america on the corner. i thought wow. maybe the walks to the car will be safer now since the bank is there instead of that sketchy bodega. then another thought popped up: less thugs but the thugs that would be there could be more dangerous. why? what kinda thugs hang around a bank? ones that do atm holdups. yikes, stripes, fruit striped gum. scary!
• my move to nyc is rapidly approaching. its making my days pretty frantic but the rewards are gonna totally outweigh the stresses. not only do i get bday gifts but many peeps are also getting me house warming gifts too. i totally have the greatest people in my life. people who love me. people who know me. people who probably already know the a#1 item on my wants for the apt is a b.o.n.g. never owned one and what better time would it be to receive one as a gift than when i move into my very first apt. hint hint. wink wink. get me get me.
• so it really hit me what little time i have left in this house. what really got to me was the bonding time i had with my brosef aka the best kid ever. rich is really at a songwriting peak and im glad hes coming out of his singing shell. wrote a kickass song this weekend and i helped! i like co-co-wrote it. ok, i contributed one word. story. i love that kid. best kid. best kid.

if theres a lack of bloggage this week its bc ill be mucho mucho busy. ikea, target, bed bath beyond. i dont know if we'll have enough time! (old school reference!) read a best of mama post if youre in dire need.

special mention (im style!):
cassie: i love brennan
jamie: me too
cassie: best hot gay!
jamie: i told him to be a pimp
cassie: stop it
cassie: ill be his ho
cassie: any day!

mike: i heard a funny line today from a friend
cassie: ooh tell
mike: i told him i got a haircut, and he did too
mike: he's like "the guy cut it too short"
mike: and then he's like "oh well, i'm jewish, we tend to get cut short"
cassie: lol
cassie: lunatic
mike: and i said "nah, we were just too big, so god had to cut us a little, but slipped and cut too much"
screennames changed for security purposes

everybody loves JILLER!!!

happy 26th bday to my down ass bitch, the jay to my silent bob, to just the Best Person Ever:

JILLER!!!
life is a mystery
everyone must stand alone
i hear you call my name
and it feels like
JILLER!

special mention:
wa el worst date ever: cant you see im dancing!
and he did NOT have a car.

a rant from a "normal" girl

so ive been a little moody lately. down in the slumps. its probably a mix of a bunch of things - stressing out about my big move, aunt flows in town (or kitty has a nose bleed or im riding the crimson wave, whatEVER), and my minds been on overdrive about my "friendship" with the btj. i think my last booty call (and it seriously was a booty call) with him will be the last. the cute fairytale-ish shield ive been looking at this friendship with has been taken off and ripped to shreds and the reality has finally sunk in. maybe jamie was right, fun is not fun. well, it was fun at the moment but now, not so much fun.

guess you need a little preface. basically, right after we did the horizontal mambo, homeboy tells me he went on two dates with some ho and doesnt know where things are going but will let me know if things get serious. nice. now that was our agreement. to tell each other if one of us is starting to see someone else. now, i havent been a complete saint either (i definitely took advantage of our "friendship" status) but i chose not to tell him. he did the right thing by telling me but just 'cause its right doesnt mean its not gonna hurt. and it did. a little. but it still did. after listening to a song ive sang along to everyday in my car for the past 2 years, i finally heard the lyrics and it made me feel better. the lyrics being: well its not like it hurts that much anyway... when i see you it stings like hell to the fact that we could have something, thatll never happen.

maybe ill gather the courage i need to just end it myself but for now, im just gonna wallow and rant. if anything, itll give you people a little something to read. so i watched a rerun of sex and the city last night and even though i always related a lot more to miranda, i totally felt what carrie was feeling. or what happened to carrie really triggered some thoughts of my own. its the ep when carrie thinks big is embarrassed to be seen with her. charlotte tells her its bc they slept together the first time they met.

ok. first things first. the btj is no mr big. and secondly, i did not have sex with him the first time we met. please. ive got standards. i waited til our 5th or 6th "date". ok fine. im a slut. if anything has to be in quotes then you know its bad. anyhoo, what got me thinking was why the whole "friendship" started. i remember how: we made out for the first time and then he flat out said, "lets be friends." hes not ready for a relationship right now, blah blah blah. so if hes not ready for a relationship, then why does he continue to look for one? more importantly, whats wrong with me? am i not good enough to have a relationship with? is it 'cause im asian? (dont even try to tell me thats a silly question. if something goes wrong, that question will ALWAYS cross my mind.) am i not asian enough (aka skinny and submissive)? i dont know. I.DONT.KNOW!

the more i look back on it, the lyric is true. it doesnt hurt that much. it still hurts, but not a lot. we definitely shared a lot of good times, a lot of "we totally just clicked" moments (or as the aim would say, "two peas in a pod") but the last few times werent as click-y. actually, there were a lot of silent moments. maybe we were too tired from our post-sex session to talk but nonetheless, there was silence. im gonna work on my fear of confrontation and try and end it with the bastard before he does. 'til then, ill be in wallow city.

bday wish list '06

i know. im almost 26. i shouldnt be compiling wish lists and just accept the drinks and cheap bottles of wine people bring me on my special day. my list this year though contains things that are totally attainable. you will not see anything ridiculous like boyfriend or lipo or an nyc apt on this list. why? bc i know no one can actually give me a boyfriend for my bday (im not reese witherspoon), lipo doesnt seem so appealing to me anymore (especially seeing what it does to your skin and the other parts of your body you didnt get fat sucked out of) and well, faj got me my nyc apt =)

ive actually approached this years bday list in a pretty mature way. i will be 26 afterall. officially in the later half of my twenties. i just hope i can start off my 26th year with a lil booty ;) that would be nice. so this list is a list for the people. the people who love me. now these people have a wide range of income so ive got a cheap list and an expensive list, hence no excuses you bitches!

the cheap stuff - this is stuff that i certainly can afford but choose not to pay for bc its just f-in annoying to put down your own $5 or however much (or little) it costs. nonetheless, these are essential items for my everyday life and i would certainly like to buy these with someone elses money.

• socks - an everyday essential. i prefer ankle length, white or black. whatEVER. i also need peds to wear with my cute flats. anyhoo, i said i like buying this stuff, just with other peoples money so gift cards would probably be best. i even have suggestions for ya!
  • h&m - dee got me really cute days of the week socks from here last year.
  • century 21 - BEST VALUE! why? bc its designer stuff for my kinda prices (real cheap!)
  • saks - only place that has the right peds for my flats.
• underwear - like socks, i wear these everyday. like the cheap bitch that i am, it kills me to throw down $10 for a cute pair of boycut shorts and $30 for a damn bra. help a sista out!
  • victorias secret - i used to work at vickys and it just kills me to purchase anything there without the 30% discount. using a gift card though, wont make my shopping experience as painful.
  • h&m - BEST VALUE! cute intimates, better prices!
  • american apparel - if you wanna splurge a little on me and this is also the runner up to the best value title. por que? porque its my fave store and i can probably purchase other goodies too!
  • calvin klein - if you wanna splurge a little more on me. its my fave to wear underneath my clothes.
• starbucks - mama needs her java but mamas been poor lately and been a cranky mccrankstein. help me get out of ti li nation. an extra incentive to purchase a gift card from the coffee devil: theres a starbucks in my (work) building.
  • starbucks - if you cant find a starbucks, then youre a moron. besides the one in my building, there are at least 3 other starbucks within a two block radius from my job.
  • dunkin donuts - BEST VALUE! im poor... and ridiculously cheap. i know where the bargains are. and yes, theres a dunkin donuts 2 blocks away from mi trabajo. ive done my research.
• jamba juice - you think just 'cause theres a starbucks a few floors down, i wasnt gonna trek the whole block to jamba. if i could only choose two things to eat/drink for the rest of my life, itd be wraps and smoothies. no list of suggestive stores for this one. just jamba.
• dvds - ok, so i did a little packing this weekend. un poco. very very poco. ok, i just put all my dvds together. i must say ive got quite a collection... but its not complete. nah, there are some crucial discs that are still missing. degrassi has got a lot of holes and well, there are a lot of other tv shows id like to have on dvd. oh, and even though it doesnt come out til mid november, jamie kennedy stu stone blowin' up. just keep that one in mind.
• best buy - BEST VALUE! really, its the only place i buy my dvds. best selection. best prices. best buy.

the expensive stuff - the title speaks for itself. its the stuff i cant afford but would be more than delighted to obtain. some may come as a shock as ive never openly showed any interest in them and others are just openly too expensive for me to afford myself.

• ipod - i figured since im packing up my cds, this is the best time to get one these things. i prefer the nano, in blue. the green looks cute and i even have matching headphones but the blue one is mucho purty. plus, since i wont be able to jam in my car, how else am i supposed to give my vocal chops some exercise? yeah man. ipod nano nano.
• ibook - to go with the ipod of course. jk. ive been wanting a laptop for quite some time and i hear these are the best. a laptop is cool bc i can write whenever i want. feel more like carrie bradshaw and write about my sexcapades (or lack thereof). just like the ipod, i have a color preference for this one. black. small. thin. sleek. purty.
• digital camera - just like the laptop, i want it small. black. thin. sleek. why dont i have any pictures? seriously, i dont have any albums or even framed pics (that will be discussed later) bc i dont have an f-in camera! just putting it on the list. im not expecting it though. ive asked for this a few times and always came up empty handed. whatEVER.

the misc list - its a schmorgasbord or stuff, hence the misc-ness of it. giddy up and give it up... to me. muchas gracias!

• money - im poor and im gonna be even poorer (is that even a word?) once im settled in the big city. i will take donations of any amount. ill even give you a deposit slip if you wanna hand me some duckets on the dl.
• framed pic - looking around in my cubicle, ive got a pic of jeremy piven, an anchorman bumper sticker and a small pic of the gang that adam gave me for my bday last year. basically, its pretty bare and i look like a boring bitch with no friends. prove my cube wrong. give me something to decorate it with. if you wanna go a little nuts, make a photo album for me. seriously, ive got no albums. no hard copied memories (besides the bahamas dvd, that i NEVER watch!).
• lotto - gotta dollar? give me a dream! its a small gesture but a fun one. i dont care if a real deal mega million lotto ticket or just a scratch off card. either one is fun.

as always, i love love love surprises. i also have a rule. no early gifts. seriously, my bday is only one day and i wanna make that day as special as possible. opening my gifts on that day and that day only makes it that much more special. bc im special. dawn, special people equals retarded... and that i probably am.

special mention:
write all your bad thoughts on a post it. crumble it up and throw it out.
jamie advice on how to battle my blues.

gokillyourself.org/suicide
probably advice id get from g-star

what about jill r

so i started to write a stellar post today. it was another one of my lists but a very important one - my bday wish list. i even took notes during my train ride home today. anyhoo, i got home, went out to dinner with the brosef and then realized what about brian was coming back on tonight. yeah, after a summer long hiatus, the show that made jamie a celeb goss queen (even for just that one night anyway) came back with a pretty ok season premiere. do i think the story line is ridiculous? absolutely. will i still watch it every monday night? absolutely. just when i was feeling a little sad about this being the first monday night in two years without jill r, brian comes back and lets me forget all the little troubles in my life right now, even just for an hour. im not gonna get into the characters and the silly side stories and whatnot but i am gonna say that abc must be beaming right now. brian - good, greys - damn good, lost - amazing.

a quick thought jotted down before i go night night... and also providing jamie something to read with her whole wheat toast and cheese. have a nice day =)

my bday wish list post will totally make up for the lack of quality in this one. a promise is a promise mr frodo. goodnight.

love is is what i want... but not right now

a girl should never say she wants a boyfriend. that word is like RAID to the crappy little ants we call men. i thought i didnt want a boyfriend and in a way, i still dont. if a hot... or remotely decent looking guy shows any interest in me, im goin' for it. ok fine. ill let him go for me. this mama never makes the first move. im too AWESOME to (or too shy and lazy. whatEVER!). with the hiatus of the btj these past few (or almost 2, ok really just a nudge above 1) weeks, i got the chance to think about what i truly want. i dont need all the lovey dovey roses and hand-holding. nah. my wants are pretty similar to a guys. hmmmm. makes me wonder why i havent found a match yet ;)

• sex - yeah, it sounds slutty but cmon! when its good, its pretty damn good and even when its kinda bad, its still kinda good, hence wanting it all the time. now, ive got standards and im known to be pretty picky. like cher horowitz said, "you see how picky i am about my shoes and they only go on my feet." however, if the chemistrys there then the sex will probably soon follow. why waste time if you think its gonna be good and if it sucks, then you just saved time bc then you know you gotta let that sucker go. yeah, i want someone i know im gettin booty from and WHEN. i hate this wondering bullshit. and yes, aaron karo is still a douche bag.
• tv - id rather spend $12 dollars on a sixer of amstel at the local grocery store than shell out $10 for a bottle of amstel at some crowded hotspot which will probably make my alcohol digesting enzyme-less body go into nausea hell. the only reasons why i even go out to bars is bc a. my friends will be there and b. i like having an excuse to get myself all dolled up with actual makeup and all that jazz. i love getting dressed up and lookin like a hot mama but once all the standard "im hot, my friends are hot and we're all at some hot bar" pictures are taken, i just wanna go home and watch some tv. a guy who can spend hours in front of the boob tube (and without a video game controller in his hands) is dreamy to me. im such a celeb gossip fiend and how can you possibly be know the latest and greatest without watching a little tele. then again, if a guy knows too much... is that my gaydar beeping?
• joker/midnight toker - joker comes first bc i love to laugh. a sense of humor is something i want, its something i need. dont need a straight up comedian but someone who can tell a few jokes and can get some of mine too. the tokin' isnt a mandatory requirement but it would be nice. an ideal day and/or night for me would look a little something like this:
  1. sex
  2. smoke
  3. sleep (nappy time)
  4. repeat 1-3
  throw in a few meals/snacks and tv time and im golden.
  
  
• (not required required but) TALL - ok, so the maj definitely nailed this into my head a few too many times but i needs the big big height on a fella. screw must love dogs, its must be tall. yeah, the shorter ones usually have cuter faces but cmon! matthew fox or scott wolf - its the fox-man all the way. maybe i like tall guys bc they make me feel small. i dont have to worry about feeling like a fat beast next to him and if anything, i feel more protected. <------ that totally sounds like daddy issue. jeepers.

so there it is. ive narrowed down my search to tall guys who like to have sex, watch tv, and blaze once is while... or more. doesnt seem so hard to find but like the song goes, "my mama told me, you better shop around."

farewell decisions

the end is here. goodbye, jill r. my very last session with the lady i poured my heart and mind out to every monday night for the past two years. it didnt really hit me until yesterday. see, i woke up yesterday in a huge panic. its already october. although i couldnt wait for this month to come (with the BIG MOVE and all) but i nearly made myself sick with the thought of immense amounts of work i have to do and how fast time is flying by. i guess i could have possibly busied myself with moving worries so that i didnt have to focus on the goodbye. i know i know. its not the end all be all goodbye. i can still call jill r whenever i want. but its still a goodbye. a break from my regular emotional routine. and well, a huge bon voyage to the woman whos helped me grow into the lovely AWESOME person i am today. i almost feel like im abandoning her. i definitely have twisted feelings about the last session.

even though this was 100% my decision, its still gonna hurt when our session ends. i feel like i should buy her a thank you card or something. pour my heart into it and let her know how important she is to me. i think i express myself better in writing than i do with spoken words but then again, im also a perfectionist when it comes to my writing and well, i dont think i can put together the right words to convey just how amazing she has been and how much im gonna miss her. man. i hope she restocks on the the kleenex tomorrow.

to show my appreciation, im bringing jill r a box of godiva truffles. i always got her chocolate for the holidays and well, nothing says youre awesome like a box of godiva. its funny. i brought the godiva home tonight and the faj was about to open it when i stopped him and said i was giving it to someone tomorrow night. and thats not even the funny part. then the maj gets the goofiest look on her face and the faj is all like, whats wrong with you. the maj goes, im just happy bc cassies gonna give the chocolate to her new boyfriend. WHA???!!! i think the maj has been goin into my stash and then sprinklin some funny dust in it before consuming. i corrected the lunatic parental figure and told her it was for a friend (yeah, they dont know about jill r. therapy in korea is just as common as gays in korea. like faj says, "yeah there are gay people... but not in korea.") and proceeded to go into my room. then i felt another farewell coming in the near future.

see, i get daily horoscopes emailed to me. big whoop, right? im not like an astrological crazy or anything but horoscopes keep me entertained and well, i love reading things that describe what type of person i am. a bit narcissistic but whatEVER. anyway, i read my horoscope yesterday and it was this:

"It's time to really put your pedal to the metal, especially if you feel like you've been losing steam regarding a certain person, place or thing. Believe it or not, the end is in sight. Take a deep breath and think, 'Onward!'"

yeah, like any normal girl, my mind immediately went to the btj. its not that weve been losing steam or whathaveyou but his outlook on life and the jewish new year right here really made me think that his mind would be on overdrive. hey, im not being one of those "hes just not that into you" psycho bitches. i actually have valid reasons as to why he mind would be churning, with thoughts leaning towards putting our friendship to an end.

the brotha is not a fan of his job and well, if you dont like what youre doing at least 40 hours a week then its kinda hard being happy with your life. he started to make a plan to make his life and being better. first was weight loss. man, this is already starting to sound like a new years resolution list. then it was... quitting the p.o.t. nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! then where would that leave us?! ok, our relationship isnt solely based on the greenery. i mean, hes not wheelie. but the more i think about it its like, what do we have in common? yeah, we're both lazy bitches who dont like bars and would rather sit on the couch and watch tv but his tv is tre tre tre different than my tv. hes like the uber guys guy. its sports. any sport. all sports. all.the.time. oh yeah, he likes cartoons too. guys guy. sports and toons. me, i like educational shows like the fabulous of... and best week ever and dramas like celebrity fit club and laguna beach.

i also keep thinking back to this episode of mtvs true life: we're friends with benefits. this one "couple" was this fred savage-y looking dude from nyc who was screwing this chubby blonde from somewhere not in nyc. basically the homegirl was moving into the city and the man was like, peace out i dont wanna screw you anymore. yeah, the bitch was annoying and chubbo but the guy was like... he looked like fred savage man. and not wonder years fred savage but like fat face fred savage. nasty. the point is. i dont wanna be the chubby blonde. i know im not blonde and im not stupid. blondie thought once she moved to nyc a relationship could blossom. i know in on a one way train to friend/ho city. do i want to go all the way to relationship depot? i. dont. know!

i do know this. i know i have a lot of crap to do before i move into the city. cleaning, packing, shopping, cleaning, unpacking, crazy crazy crazy. i also know i have a fun bday party to look forward to and a hot costume i must work my belly off to fit into to. i also know i want to be liked. adored. be appreciated for the awesomeness that i just am. im a catch, bitch. now where the hell is my bait?