Wednesday, June 18, 2008

elevator etiquette

elevators. a modern marvel. anything that helps with my laziness, im all for. some of us (JILLER!) are not big fans but me, i love elevators. just like the subway though, there are some people that dont know how to ride an elevator properly. i know. youre probably thinking, "i didnt even know there were rules to riding an elevator." i thought that too until i encountered people who broke the rules.

true. riding an elevator is simple. walk in, push the button to the floor you wish to go, stand back, face the door or the floor numbers (if theyre displayed), and wait til you get to your destination. its the standing part that some people dont get. just like a subway car, an elevator car can get crowded. but unlike the subway, there arent any seats or poles but since the elevator is only going up and down and not across, theres no need to do any surfing, no pole holding required. since you dont really need to concentrate on keeping your balance, there is just one simple rule, dont invade others personal space.

like johnny says to baby, this is your space, this is my space (no spaghetti arms). when an elevator car is crowded, its inevitable that personal spaces will get invaded and overlapped but that is when the general rule comes in, when a person leaves an elevator, move over to maximize your and the other persons space. easy breezy right? so you would think.

the other day i walked into the elevator at work with a few friends. we were having a convo while waiting for the elevator and i wouldve liked to have continued the convo in the elevator as well. but no. two schmuckos (1 girl and 1 guy) deemed that their convo was way more important than mine and planted their fat asses right in front and next to me. how is that possible? its possible when youre annoying pieces of shit with no respect for personal spaces.

anyhoo, i bit my tongue and gave these idiots a chance. it was a crowded elevator. so the elevator stopped at a floor and a person near us got out leaving room for the morons to move and give me back my personal space (and a chance to continue my convo). yeah. those dumb bitches stayed in place and continued on. after staring at the free space for a half minute, i finally took the one long step outta idiotville and into my new personal space. then i shot my friends a "someone should beat those stupid bitches with a common courtesy stick" look.

elevator personal space is kinda like a game. as soon as a person leaves, you move to give the other people youre riding with the same amount of personal space as you do. am i the only one who plays this game? its like when youre in a crowded elevator and people start getting off one by one until its just you and another person. arent you two always standing on opposite ends of the car so that each of you can claim your own half of the space? yes? no? do i have some weird elevator ocd?

i guess if youre ever riding in a elevator with me, you better give me my space. or this mama will be a cranky one and the bf will not appreciate it (bc hes the one who gets the brunt of my crankiness... poor guy. love you lb!).

special mention:
mr. spring, give me a spot.
to the poland spring truck parked in the middle of the street


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