Thursday, May 29, 2008


*just want to say thanks to brad for leaving a comment on my last post. bc of the genius that he is, i got to update the "my crush jake" link. its always nice to read comments especially from people i dont know. unless of course ive already met you through adam which is a possibility bc adam is like my main promoter. he says hes not a publicist but at heart he really is. anyhoo, thanks brad man. youre awesome... and adam you are too (but you already know that!)*

so maybe its bc i just finished reading bunny tales but i guess i didnt really have this epiphany until i randomly read this article this morning. i began to think about what is beautiful and then felt lucky that my bf thinks that i am, especially in the morning when i have my sleepyface on. messed up hair, sleep-sand in my eyes, and he calls me cute. thats love. then my mind went back a few years when my cousins from cali were in town. they said the girls in ny were gross compared to their hometown hos. when i went out to cali with my bro and his friend a year later, they agreed with my cousins, cali girls were hotter.

i mentioned this to my bf and he disagreed with a HELLLL NO! ny has the hottest girls bc of the variety. who wants cookie cutter barbies? ah, thats what i tell myself when my flabby belly says i should go to the gym but my lazy ass argues with it using that excuse. the ass always wins.

i know i know, when you hear great personality you think ugly ugly ugly. honestly though, id take good, stimulating conversation over eye candy any day. luckily my man and i are each a combo of both. yeah, we're awesome! anyone can be stick thin (it goes hand in hand with utterly miserable bc hunger=nasty biatch) but a lil meat on the bones can be sexy. well, thats also what my ass tells my belly during the should i/shouldnt i go to the gym wars. damn smart ass!

reading bunny tales made me realize that hef and his gfs are just insecure people. the book tells about his sex life (ew, if you do end up reading this book, try not to picture it unless you want to throw up in your mouth) and its pretty boring. i can honestly say mine is way saucier and im only horizontal dancing with one partner. the gfs are nuts and get plastic surgery to one up each other. ok fine, i shouldnt really talk bc ive had a lil work done myself, but i was young and im secure with myself now to know that i wont be getting any more in the future.

oh yeah, and hefs gfs are always blonde. theyre like puppets that can easily replaced by another bleach blonde (the fake boobs come after you move into the mansion). i think deep down, i barely have any asian friends bc i like being the token. even though sometimes i feel uncomfortable being different i usually embrace and enjoy it. bc to me, different is beautiful. sure, sometimes i wish my chest was as boobilicious as my jewy friends, especially the thin ones with the crazy huge racks, but korean girls just arent built that way.

its weird, even when i am in a group of asian girls (which does not happen often) i still feel different. maybe its my sexy (aka meaty) hot bod (literally, it runs at 110 degrees). im not as twiggy as they are nor do i add random korean words into my convos when i talk. maybe its just my mind. i need to feel different to feel good about myself. its like self-therapy or something. or maybe self-psychosis bc deep down im just a looney.

as the article from this morning said, perfect looks usually means boring conversations. sure, i can be a cold, quiet bitch at times but there are other times when i can talk your ear off and make you chuckle... just dont talk politics bc ive got zero opinions due to my zero knowledge of it. ok fine, my only thought on politics is that i can never take w seriously bc every time i see him on tv, all i see is will ferrell spoofing him on snl. and thats about it.

the point of this whole post is is that being all dolled up and perfect looking isnt whats beautiful. its like that ep of sex and the city when miranda brings home a trainer from the gym and the guy tells her shes sexy. then on their next date when she got all sexed up, he got turned off. see, natural is true beauty. thats why my man loves my sleepyface. just like i love his crazy hair lazyface.


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