Thursday, July 19, 2007

empathy - a sibling update

so. after i published the previous not so nice post, i had a long talk with the live-in sib. our talk was actually productive and even though weve had similar talks like those before, only for things to go to shit a few weeks later, i really think we made some progress. some big changes may happen which i dont want to disclose until if and when they actually do. and, i didnt rip le join a new asshole either. like i said, i cant be mean to someone unless theyre being mean to me and of course when we spoke, she was nice and cordial. how could i respond with my guns ablazing? so we talked, shed a few tears, talked some more, and now, i think we're on same wave. i unloaded all the things that were bothering me with some of her responses being quite bogus but in the end, i think i taught and opened her eyes to a lot. a lot about respect. respect for other people and especially respect for me.

i also felt horrible for having the previous up in cyberland after i spoke with le join but after reading it again, all the words i wrote were true. she did do all those things. it wasnt talking shit but stating some facts. i did however, feel the need to write this too. shes not a bitch. just a currently unhappy person. thats what we shed a few tears about. as mean as she can be to me at times, i still want her to be happy. shes my sister and i know shes a good person (who can unleash a nasty nasty 'tude). its just, just a strange time for me.

yeah, ive got some probs of my own (mostly financial) but as a whole, im happy scrappy hero pup. its hard to see my sister(s) be the opposite. le join is unhappy, and dees got health issues and relationship probs. is this karma biting them in the butt? its strange. ive longed for the hot awesome sister crown for so long and now that ive got it, i cant really enjoy it bc of the sitches my sibs are in. makes me feel like i shouldnt enjoy my newfound happiness or at least guilty for having it. am i too empathetic? am i too jewish putting all this guilt on myself? are koreans really asians disguised as jews? questions questions.

le join - i love you and want you to be happy. do whatever you gotta do. i got your back.
dee - hope youre health gets back on the right track and you learn to let things go and just trust. let the man live a little. hes not your prisoner.

special mention:
steve: donna, no one brings shoulder pads on a camping trip!
from my fave ep of 9-0

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