Tuesday, April 24, 2007

addicted

yeah. ive totally become one of those. those people i used to hate but really only hated bc i secretly wanted to be them. yeah man, im in a couple... and i love it. hehe. i still giggle when i drop the bf bomb but i love that i can say it legitimately. nothing major has changed. definitely a smooth transition. actually, i kinda held back on the "transition"-ing to not scare the man. please, i bawled my eyes out bc i believed his fear of commitment would win over his feelings for me. of course, i started out walking on eggshells but now, im walking on sunshine. uh huh. and doesnt it feel good. it does. validation, appreciation, companionship. its f-in awesome. we're not the annoying, hand-holding, gaze into each others eyes type of couple. we're more like a dance down the block, get each others jokes, giggly type of couple.

im sure, actually, i know we're probably in the honeymoon period. the "very glad i chose you, you chose me, im so smart bc i have such a kickin partner" phase. i realized this when we were hanging out with a bunch of his friends. g-man was over sans his gf (rich girl "sally" i mentioned in an earlier post). sally was back in england and their last few days together werent ideal. lets just say she left him with scars, and im not just talking emotional. rock candy also came by. rock candy are my fave of the bfs friends. theyre just the most entertaining couple. sure, theyre both actors too but i dont think thats why they fascinate me so much. i seriously can watch "the rock and candy show" all day.

so we're all sitting in the bfs apt, chillin with our pot luck dutch when g-man and rock start swapping battle wound stories. yes, wounds from their gfs. the bf and i just looked at each other and were like, i seriously hope we dont get to that point. nyaaa. im not a physical person. please, i have trouble confronting people let alone hitting them. i couldnt imagine getting so mad at my man that id wanna physically hurt him. and thats when it dawned on me: we're totally in the honeymoon period. actually, our whole time together has been smooth sailing. no real bickering which kinda scares me. is this the calm before the storm? or are we both just laid back lazy f-ers (literally and figuratively) who dont want to be bothered with silly fights?

another relationship rumination thats been brewin in my mind lately. addiction. no, this isnt about the greenery. le join mentioned this to me a few weeks ago when my time spent with the bf (this is when he was still the btj) grew and my nights in my own bed dwindled down. she said i have an addictive nature and that my new addiction is him. hmmmm. i found this funny and even joked with him that hes like a drug to me. is he though? does something or someone that makes you feel good considered a drug? if so, consider me a crackhead to his crack. can i get another hit?

so as i rode the subway this morning, the word "addicted" kept popping into my head. then i remembered the song addicted by simple plan. jiller and i loved that song. so i looked through my ipod and lo and behold, i had it (thanks le join)! then i listened to the song and it totally does NOT describe how i feel about my relationship but its still totally catchy as hell. then i thought of my fave kelly clarkson track also called addicted and yeah, its a downer. i guess "addicted" has a negative undertone. maybe i need to find a new word.

special mention:
jamie: im not used to this role reversal. i used to be the star. now im like 'man in store.'
about her (lack of) popularity during lunchtime

1 PRAISES OR SPAM

Blogger I'm Not A Publicist said...

mama, i know how you feel about being addicted. i was totes addicted to TA, but i'm just a needy person by nature...or am i naughty by nature (hip hop hooray! hoooo!)...anyway, as i have learned, a relationship is work, and not every couple is the 'gaze into each others eyes, hand holding' type...i wish mine was, but it was never destined to be.

you have to be comfortable with who you both are, and how you work with each other. i know you guys are going to be great. don't think of this as the calm before the storm, or else you are always going to think that you are on the verge of impending doom, which is how i always thought of my relationship. loose lips sink ships!

regardless, i am soooo happy for you! yay!

12:59 PM  

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