Thursday, June 28, 2007

slightly cloudy skies

im not talking about the nyc weather. please, then the title would be hot and humid and hot and humid. im talking about my lovey dovey lala land. yeah, so my lb has been in ultra stress mode these past few weeks. he needs to leave his apt by saturday but still needs to find a new place to move to. yeah, high stress times. the apt hunt has taken him so long bc his budget kept fluctuating due to minor issues hes been having with his 'rents... about his rent. the issues with the folks have been resolved but his apt search is still going on.

so its called slightly cloudy bc i havent had any major stressful issues. just my man. but we've been dealing with them together. i like that i can help him by just being there for him but i always want to do more. i want to take his problems away completely. but then again, i believe everything happens for a reason and maybe this is a big reality check for him. except instead of just kicking his ass, its kicked him in the nuts too. damn, big dilemma, little time. not fun to deal with.

this post is also called slightly cloudy bc thats how my/our life will be. less (smoke) clouds. yup, the lb and i are about to kick that habit. one of the issues the lb had been having with his 'rents was their wanting him to quit the greenery (its times like these im glad that parental denial is on my side). he called it blackmail bc they wouldnt help him out with his apt sitch unless he quit. his view on that issue was that if he was going to kick the habit, he would do it on his own terms. plus, hes a bit worried that quitting would change him. it had been such a big part of his life. a big part of his image.

funny thing is is that i had that same convo with myself internally. do my herbal refreshments make me, me? i realized it does not. im still awesome even when my eyes arent droopy. and i know the ganj isnt why i love the lb. i love him bc hes funny, entertaining, intelligent, caring, and not so bad on the eyes too. plus, this new way will make us more active. we'll spend less time on the couch... no matter which neighborhood or even borough or even possibly state (yes, he may looking in jersey. nyaaa!) his couch ends up. and this new movement goes along with my fun plans for summer. plus, more activity = more cardio = hotter bods for december in anguilla!

this new page in life could be a blessing in disguise. ew. did i just sound like paris hilton? anyhoo, im not calling my quitting a "no greens forever" type of deal. itll just be an end to my regular herbal consumption although if im at a party and that smell is in the air, im following that intoxicating aroma. man, this is gonna be a rough withdrawal. le join says i have an addictive nature. the whole fam does. so i just need to find a healthy addiction to replace the my herbal addiction. maybe ill finally learn how to ride a bike. i can start with my pink razor scooter.

man, its been a crazy year and ive only gone through half of it. ive really grown up these past 6 months. i just hope i dont grow bigger during the second half of '07. i do know that when i look back on this year, ill be proud of myself. taking care of my responsibilities, living my life the way i want to live it. on my own. its pretty cool bc im pretty awesome. no more holden caufield syndrome. growing up is cool.


Blogger I'm Not A Publicist said...

growing up is cool. i mean, it blows, and i find it difficult to believe that i am going to be 28 this year, but hey, shit happens, right?

what makes me feel younger? i'm listening to the not-so-chart-topping epic song 'On The Line' featuring the On The Line Allstars: Mandy Moore, Joey Fatone and Lance Bass.


10:46 AM  

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