Sunday, December 18, 2005

no boys ever buy me drinks

tv shows, movies, even cheesy chick novels (the only books i attempt to read), they all make it look so easy. walk up to the bar, spot a cute boy, make eye contact, give him a sly little smile, he comes over to you, you talk with a "im the hottest bitch in here, biiitch!" attitude, he buys you a drink. whenver i get a free drink its because the guy whos buying wants my friend, never me. im the wing-woman. and a perfect one for any girl too. why? because im emotionally detached. the girl (my friend) knows i would never hit on the guy shes after (mostly because i know i could never ever get him anyway) and the guy wouldnt hit on me because hes not interested. the guy wants the hot bitch, not the cold one.

what the guy doesnt know is that the hot bitch gets free drinks all the time so in order to get her as intoxicated as he wants her to be, hes gonna have to keep an open tab at the bar. a cold bitch like me, especially an asian one (damn flush!), doesnt need as many drinks. two beers and im good for the night. im a cheap ass date. as long as you dont whip out the late night munchies menu.

as i woke up this morning, after another uneventful night out at another crap ass bar, i had an epiphany. i obviously knew i hate going out to bars, hence my staying in movement, but i think i got to exactly why i loathe it so much. loathe is a strong word but hey, so are my feelings.

last night was an obligatory night out. it wasnt a random night out to the bars with the chicks. it wasnt anyones bday either. my old friend, soon to be dr k and his new gf aka my close friend and frequent blog mention the aim, threw a party last night to celebrate the return of stb dr k. woo hoo. even though i love those two, i knew the night was not gonna be a blast. why?

a. it was at a trendy bar filled with people i tend to complain about. basically scantily clad hos (who i secretly wish i looked like), and guys wearing the typical button down shirts, and if he was feeling saucy, a suit jacket too (no tie of course).

b. more people i tend not to like were gonna be there. stb dr ks friends from high school: the guys i mentioned above. yeah, i went to high school with them too and guess what, i didnt like them back then either.

c. while everyone else was getting wasted and having a dandy old time, id be nursing my one beer.

yes one damn beer. one beer because thats usually all i could afford. especially during the winter. need to keep the cash that i wouldve spent on an extra beer for a cab ride back to my car. when its cold outside, you cab it. especially with high heeled boots on.

as a whole, the night wasnt too bad. we actually got a table without having to pay bottle service. i was with my closest friends. the place actually played good music. and i even came back home with some money left in my bag (i took the subway instead of cabbing it because jiller was right and it wasnt as frigidly cold as i thought and i was feeling stingier than usual).

so why? why did i wake up as crabby abby? why did i leave the place as crabby abby? why was i acting like a crabby abby? maybe its 'cause people expect me to. everyone knows im the first to complain and the first to leave. i always talk about pulling an irish goodbye but i never do. i know these nights are uneventful but what events am i waiting for to unfold? maybe thats why i play crabby abby. to make my own uneventful events. i complain and complain about wanting to leave and then when i finally do, my friends thank me for sticking it out as long as i did. do i do this to get the "congratulatory" goodbye? am i that desperate for attention? attention from people that i already know love me? can i blame my parents for this? much to discuss with jill r. much. to. talk. about.

a very fitting special mention:
"im just gonna go home and kill myself. you wanna split a cab?"

-kevin (paul rudd)/200 cigarettes


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