Sunday, September 11, 2005

screw the small talk... im stayin' home

i dont love going out. seriously. i definitely hate being in my crazy casa but after much thinking over the weekend, ive decided im staying in. ill still go out for occasions like bdays bc im still a good friend and always make my celebratory cameos when necessary but if its a night of going out just for the sake of going out, im saving my good outfits and gas and staying in.

ive been in a funk lately. maybe jill r can help me get out of it tomorrow during my feel good monday sess but the jiller was over this morning to try and talk me out of my staying in movement. i explained my reasons. it actually started when i met up with adam on thursday during my personal day off from work. i went into the city, bought some much needed chocolate and then headed over to chelsea to hang out with ad.

he said he was in a funk too. basically broke down what you need in life into three parts - job, apt, boyfriend. we only have one each, me a job and he an apt and you know how the saying goes, "2 outta 3 aint bad" which means we're pretty bad because we dont even have 2. and its true, 2 outta 3 aint bad at all. i think i would be content with a job and an apt. the boyfriend can follow later. but considering i still live at home with the crazy 'rents and unfortunate sibs, im still sitting in funkville. so after a fun time of toking and watching mindless tv with ad (which is one of my all time fave things to do) i headed back home.

i went back to work the next day and decided my fate aka the staying in movement. i think its a pretty good plan considering the times we're in right now. gas aint cheap. it is downright ridonculous. i never ever paid $30 for a full tank and now im pushing $40 whenever i fill up. thats pretty nice dent in my wallet. a dent that doesnt need to grow, especially with frequent trips into nyc. hence, cutdown on trips = less times at mobil.

also, my feet have a say in these nights out. yeah, i can wear comfy flip flips while bar hopping with my girlies but lets face it, my ass looks a whole lot nicer in my jeans when accompanied by high heels. the lift in the shoes gives a little lift elsewhere making my bod look as fab as possible. while i look so awesome, my feet dont feel as great. i absolutely want to chop them off by the end of the night but a footless girl is an unattractive girl and you know no girl wants to be called unattractive. thats like the ultimate anti goal of a girl, unattractiveness.

speaking of unattractiveness, what else can make a fun girl like me seem unattractive? the wrong answers during the excrutiating small talk when meeting new people. let me give you an example:

possible cute boy: hey, im pcb
me: im cassie
pcb: nice to meet you.
me: likewise.
pcb: so what do you do? (job)
me: i work at a publishing company
(more boring explanations come about, etc...)
what do you do?
pcb: (describes his probably boring job but who cares)
me: wow thats really interesting (im always pseudo nice when meeting new people)
pcb: so where do you live?
me: on long island. at home. still with my parents.
(awkward silence.... pcb becomes an f-in bastard, finds an excuse and walks away)

this is probably the main reason why im going with the staying in movement. why subject myself to this horrible rejection at the price of expensive gas, painful feet, and a hot outfit, and of course a brusied self esteem (i use self esteem rather than ego because egos are what people with high self esteems have and i for one do not have one of those, explaining my feel good monday sessions with jill r). the jiller says i should still go out and just not talk to new people but wherever you go, its inevitable. you go out with a group of friends, either you or one of your chicas will run into someone else they know, do the introductions, yaddy yaddy yadda. you cant away.

damn small talk. i hate it. thats why im boycotting it all together. until i get my 2 outta 3, im staying in my crazy casa. i wont be completely alone. im thinking about starting a netflix account. start watching the shows ive wanted to watch but never got around to. like lost. the new season starts next week so i gotta do my catching up fast.

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