Wednesday, November 30, 2005

rockin' around the xmas tree

thanksgiving is over. let the holiday shopping begin. the holiday madness. ugh, the crazy traffic and crowds. the damn holiday music. seriously, i am not a xmas carol person. silver bells. shove 'em up your ass. the one xmas song i can tolerate is mariahs all i want for xmas. that lady can sing a stupid easter bunny song and i would love it. yes but when it comes to december, its all about buying gifts online and calling it a night. you wont see me trimming the xmas tree. sipping eggnog or roasting chestnuts on an open fire. and no, i will not be watching its a wonderful life or miracle on 34th street on xmas day. im not a complete scrooge though. there are a few holiday flicks that hold a special place in my heart, or that doesnt make me upchuck from the holiday cheerful cheese (the one type of cheese i hate). my twisted top ten...

10. the nutcracker - i dont know what it is about the sugarplums song but every time i hear it, it brings me back to watching the nutcracker and wishing i were one of the dancers. they looked so graceful and pretty. i think deep down ive always wanted to be a ballerina but i was a little kid who needed something more flashy to show off with. thats why i chose gymnastics. gymnastics is flashy. ballet is graceful, soft and delicate. toys dancing. what a fantasy for a little child which leads me to the next flick.

9. babes in toyland - cant remember much about it but i know the first time i saw it was during class in 2nd grade. then a few days later, it was on tv. i was fascinated because we just read that story about the family who lived in a shoe and they were in this movie. thats all i remember, the shoe family. i told you, im not big on xmas movies. thats why this is number 9.

8. all i want for xmas - awwwwww. ethan embry when hes like 14 and little thora birch at age like 6 or 7. so cute. so adorable. typical i want my divorced parents back together movie with a pet mouse thrown into it. crazy antics, lots of milkshakes. and it has the best duet too: "baby its cold outside..." songs are very important in making a holiday movie great.

7. national lampoons xmas vacation - the holidays + clark w griswald = 'nuff said.

6. elf - this also has the same duet as all i want for xmas but this time with will ferrell and zooey deschanel and instead of it being by a grand piano, its in the bathroom of a department store. "santa. i know him!" will ferrell in yellow tights. doesnt get any funnier.

5. the ref - denis leary. put him in any movie about any holiday and im sold. candlestick head pieces! kevin spacey as a fed up husband. crazy grandmas. i love the bitchy cheapass grandmas. funny plot, witty lines, totally top five worthy!

4. xmas story - "fra-geeeee-lay. must be italian." this is my all time favorite classic holiday movie. from the "i cant put my arms down" winter gear, "youll poke your eye out", the infamous tongue on pole, the feetie pjs, soap in mouth and the best ending of all: dinner at the chinese restaurant: "fa ra ra ra raaaaa ra ra ra ra" do you know they actually sell that leg lamp? awesome.

3. muppets xmas carol - i may hate the typical xmas crap but i love my muppets and they did a pretty good job with this classic tale. seriously, i love the muppets. muppet babies was my favorite show. and this is totally a classic tale. scrooge, the ghosts of past, present, and future and tiny tim. cant forget tiny tim. we definitely read this in school and i definitely fell asleep (reading makes me sleepy) but watching the movie really made me appreciate the story.

2. love actually - "i feel it in my fingers. i feel it in my toes.... britney spears...she was rubbish." funny, cute, feel good movie. i love every character, every storyline, i love love love it. love actually actually rocks. it also has kickass music so much so that i own the soundtrack. hmmm, i just may need to put that back into rotation in my car. and it also has my fave xmas song, "all i want for xmas."

1. home alone (the macaulay culkin ones) - i usually dont give sequels a chance but number two is just as good as number one and possibly even better. oh mac, you did good with these. i think my favorite character is the asshole brother buzz, "i wouldnt let you sleep in my room if you were growing on my ass." the best part about these movies is how kevin geniusly uses the gangster movies to defend himself, "keep the change you filthy animal."

the holidays arent just about xmas. yes theres hannukah and kwanza too but the holidays are never complete without new years! here are my "special mention" new years flicks:

when harry met sally - ok, this is a relationship movie but the ending, when harry finally realizes how he feels for sally and pours his heart out to her right before the ball drops. ahhh, best new years and just plain old regular movie moment ever. any girl would love to have a guy profess his love like that to her. it wasnt cheesy but just real. real love. real feelings. real good. real real good.

200 cigarettes - "throwing a party is like an invitation for abuse." you want every new years, or just any night, to turn out like this one. lots of mini journeys to this one big destination and when you get there, its a smorgasbord of random people with even more random matches at the end of the night. awesome. and yes, great great music. "elvis. costello. the love of my life. was here. at my party?!/yeah yeah. he kept asking around about the crab dip. nobody had the recipe./i got it off a box. i couldve told him that."

special mention:
after watching a commercial with this song
cassie: tea for two and two for tea.
joanna: i dont want tea from you.


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