Tuesday, November 21, 2006

the stars say its a NO go

so i had a fun saturday with the btj. i didnt think a person could hang out with me for over 24 hours straight (unless that person is jamie: spring break '06!) but he did. and it was fun. i like hanging out with him. as i always say when we part ways, its good times, good times. i know how i feel but the reactions i get from others is not the same. out of every 5 of my friends who meet him, at least 3 of them automatically say, i could do better. blah blah. what is better? what does that mean? looks-wise i could do better? but how so? hes pretty tall, got a decent face, so yeah, hes got a belly but i dont have a perfect bod either. the ones who really know me and/or this sitch think im wasting my time. why? heres one response:

lori the fan fave plaza east-er: so things seem to go well. why doesn't he step up?

thats a great question? why doesnt he step up. i know the answer, well his answer anyway: hes a commitment phobic bitch with a chipped heart. basically doesnt trust any hos but at the same time hes a ho himself bc he wants to bang everything that moves. i agreed to go along with this friendship bc a big part of my mind thinks like a guy and yeah, i wanna have the freedom to knock the boots with whoever i want to, if the situation does pop up (no pun intended, well maybe a little).

if things are going great, why not take it farther? the btj and i talk about this a lot. probably bc hes just trying to save his ass - we both agreed to bang bang bang around with others so no one can complain if the other got booty elsewhere. hes also mentioned his "fear" of ruining what we got if we do get into the "'r' word" (quotation marks are there for a reason, those were his words, the "'r' word". ridiculous!). of course, since im a normal girl, my mind has been running around with silly and (of course) a lil crazy conclusions.

am i the julie to his ross? im cool to keep around for the time being but hes just waiting for his rachel to come around and say "hey, i love you now. you can ditch the stupid asian ho and have me." he'll probably have a big thing of toblerone too. who am i kidding, ill probably be the one with the toblerone. those things are damn good! then my mind wandered to the stars. yes peeps, astrology.

ive never been to psychic and dont ever want to go to one. i dont wanna know what my future holds. if its something bad, id rather not know. ignorance is bliss and i like being a dumbass mofo. so of course i googled "astrological compatibility" and checked every site on the first page of results. basically the stars are not with "us". im a scorpio. hes an aquarius. i want to belong to one and hes wants to be loved by the world. kinda makes sense. i noticed hes much more talkative when theres a group of people but i just chalked that up to him needing to be the funny guy of the room. we're both fixed signs which means we're stubborn-ass bitches. ah, also says the scorpio sexual appetite may be too large for the aquarius to handle. hmmm ;) i did "surprise" him with our last romp. hey man, when somethings good, i want it... a LOT =)

so im just gonna keep on keepin on my faith in fate. if we were meant to be it wouldve been already. maybe the btj is just a very fun, very. fun. pit stop before i head back on the love freeway. free love on the free love freeway. the love is free and the freeways long.

special mention - traffic style:
i answer my daily parking chant call from jamie
jamie: im really far.
(expecting to hear the likes of 40-something street) where are you?
jamie: northern blvd
explosive laughter
(thats not even in manhattan)


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