is the internet the only way?

i went out this weekend. both nights. and friday night i went out twice! first to happy hour with work people and then to brennans bday party with the aim. sat night was marlas bday party on the west side. both nights i looked snazzy. i had great hair and everything. so did i meet any interesting people? any possible suitors? nah. if anything, while i was out i had my favorite quote from 200 cigarettes running through my head: "you dont just meet people on the street. even at a party you dont meet people. you just stand around talking to the ones you already know" which is exactly what i did.

so how do people meet? yes theres the tried and true through friends way but i think ive met most of my friends "other" friends and well, the guys are either gay, gross or taken. boo. so that crazy thought crossed my mind again and this time, it stayed with me for a little longer than usual... yes, the online dating thought. ive told myself if i do decide to put myself on the cyber market, itd be after i move out of my parents house (goal date: june 2006).

actually one of my old friends from high school has had a lasting (pushing two years) relationship with a boy shes met on jdate and she still lives at home but so does her boyfriend. i dont know if i want a man who still lives with his parents and well i dont expect an independant man to want me when im still "dependent on my parents." i guess i want to be what i want to have before i go out and get it hence my delay to start the online dating.

if i decide to put myself out there, which site do i sign up on and sign my personal life away to? yeah theres match.com where a couple i personally know met through that site and are thisclose from an engagement. but who am i kidding, ill probably narrow down my search and go for what i know: jdate. i still have a few things that are holding me back though.

1. the asian fetish. ive said it before and ill say it again, i want a guy to want me because they think im kickass and not because they think im some submissive geisha. fact: most men who have asian fetishes are jewish. i guess they like to feel powerful next to their little china dolls. i dont want to meet a guy who knows more about my culture than i do. i know throwing myself on jdate might be like sending a cute 6 year old boy to sunday school taught by 8 different old preists. im gonna need creepo radar.

2. damn jewish geography. yeah man, im from the epicenter of jewtown, usa. when my friends cruise the jdate highway, we either know the guys theyre looking at or know someone who knows him. my favorite reason for leaving high school: no more bullshit gossip. and well if i know one thing its that jews like to talk and well, i just dont want to be gossip fodder.

3. love at first bus ride. i still have an attachment to that fantasy every girl has - the hot guy sees me across the room and falls madly in love with me as fast as i do with him. we could meet at a party, at a supermarket, even on the damn bus but since i still live on long island and drive instead of taking mass transit, my mta true love will have to wait 'til i move to the borough of bright lights. cant find instant attraction on a damn website.

i think im gonna stick with my staying in movement and go out for events (like bday parties) only. i can spend my nights in working on getting a hot bod so i cant attract the hot men i want and practice my bitch face to fight off the gross ones i dont. my nights at home will also help me save money that ill probably use to take cabs rides back to my apt after bad (j)dates. eh, i think i have to get over the reasons i mentioned above before i start uploading my hot pics and filling out a profile.

special mention:
after taking some simply sleep...
sha - i knew the drugs were starting to kick in when i realized i ended the email with "later alligator."