the us postal service - a bunch of motherfuckin' slow ass asshole morons

can you tell by the title that i LOVE usps. now, i dont shop online too often but i like to surf the 'net when im looking for gifts or gift ideas for people. its basically my "research" before i actually go do the shopping. im an in n out type of shopper. so not a wandering try everything on type of shopper. i have the store and item in my head before i make the journey. anyhoo, my mans dad has a bday coming up and i really want to get him something super cool and fun bc thats what he is. plus hes easy to shop for bc hes got a sense a humor and a LOVE for the yankees (this love is the total opposite of my love for usps). anyhoo, so i got to crackin and found the most adorable plush yankee slippers that look like sneakers. they were so damn awesome that i ordered a pair for my man as well. just 'cause. anyhoo, i was beyond ecstatic about this stellar find. i didnt hestitate when i clicked on place order. since you have the backstory, now here is the timeline that started with a click of a button which grew into my LOVE for usps.

• 9/26 - hit confirm and do a small victory type dance in my cube. not only did i find a gift, but a kickass awesome one. woo hoo!
• 9/30 - 10/5 - expected arrival date range. woo hoo! just in time for the 10/6 bday dinner at lugers. yum!
• 9/30 - start my obsessive amazon.com track order checking. did i mention that this seller got crazy rave reviews. the stats looked good: 96% positive. awesome!
• 10/1 - 10/5 - freak out begins. tracking page says teh same thing day after day: "carrier notified to pick up package." who is the carrier? usps. im no dummy, i went straight to the usps site to track my package there. were the results any better? nah. exactly the same.
• 10/5 evening - after working a day at my parents store and realizing how much i hate driving (seriously, if i didnt LOVE the usps so much, id be blogging about driving) i track my package. ah! a glimmer of hope.
  • 10/4 at 10:30 pm - arrives in Springfield, MA.
  • 10/5 6:50pm: arrives in Jersey City, NJ.
  omg. jersey city! i could spit on jersey city from my apt. theres a terrific chance the package will arrive on time!
• 10/6 so we should just kill usps. check the status.
  • 10/6 7:19 am, arrives in 10036, recipient not home.
  argh! my zip is NOT 10036 but im assuming that the usps shipped my package to ny post office so they can distribute it appropriately. check the hours for all post offices in 10036 and all go Monday - Friday no fuckin saturday and definitely no sunday.

so yeah, i hate the post office bc a. it took them 4 days to finally recognize my package had to be shipped. and then b. the same carrier who geniusly left for new york on a saturday when they should know that there are no post offices open on saturdays (remember, theyre from the same company). they wasted a trip and my high hopes.
so yeah, the usps is a bunch of lazy ass motherfuckin slow biatchy morons. now im going to this lovely luger dinner sans the best bday gift i could find. ASSHOLES!

special mention moment:
my man bought me flowers! theyre the first ive ever received. he got them just bc. thats so hot.