Friday, July 14, 2006


no no no. i know what youre thinking and the answer is no. this is not a post about me feeling like a fatty or a dumbass or shall i even say, boring. no man. ive already learned to embrace my plump size 6 bod, know that im not a moron (other people just think on a different plane as me), and know that if i am boring at least i still entertain the 3 people who read this blog (myself included in that 3). nah. i know insecurities are bad but ive realized that they arent bad in all cases and actually help people out.

what people and how? kevin smith and his movies. wha? the kevin smith? the man who spawned numbers of cult classics? yeah man. that kevin smith. he needs his insecurities. that edge to push him to greatness. ive decided that as his success grew (deservedly so) the insecurities started to diminish... along with the quality of his films.

the rise
  1. film: clerks
    insecurity: a nobody film maker who actually used his own money via credit cards to make this independent film about a pathetic store clerk and his day of (mis)adventures.
    success: this movie started it all and also gave ksmith enough cred to have miramax take him under their wings. plus, who doesnt love olaf (would you like some making fuck berzerker!)
  2. film: mallrats
    insecurity: panned by critics. not too many show up to watch a silly film made by some independent film maker.
    success: its still arguable among the cult fans which is better: clerks or mallrats. both have exquisite dialogue and sprinkles of dance sequences by jay. but ksmith did a get step up from clerks with this film: mallrats is in color. another perk from this film, ben affleck. he was great as that asshole from fashionable male. im assuming this is when ksmiths crush on benny boy began.
  3. film: chasing amy
    insecurity: although this film is super great (again packed with genius genius dialogue) it touches a very touchy touche taboo-y topic (homosexuality. gasp!).
    success: this film actually was better received than mallrats was (and mallrats had no controversy). controversial or not, its a great film and put ben affleck in a leading role. he was actually good in this too (obviously pre jlo of course).
  4. film: dogma
    insecurity: still on the controversial route, ksmith makes a film about religion... knowing he'll probably piss off the church and then some.
    success: finally with enough cred under his belt, ksmith got to get all the big names: ben affleck (of course!), matt damon (double of course!), salma hayek (heard this was harveys choice), george carlin, alanis morrissette. besides the big names, this film has a great story, great message and in true ksmith style, great great great dialogue. the man is a smarty.

the fall
  1. film: jay and silent bob strike back
    insecurity (or lack thereof): reeling on the success of his last 4 films, what could possibly go wrong. lets take a staple from all 4 previous films and base a whole movie around that. (and no, the staple was not rick derris.)
    success (or not): jay and silent bob always stole every scene they were in but when you make them the focus of every scene (ever!) their novelty wears away pretty thin and pretty fast. not even another all star cast of hotties (including ksmiths maneating wife) could save this film. not even jason biggs. or dawson leary. sad.
  2. film: jersey girl
    insecurity (or lack thereof): ben affleck. liv tyler. george carlin. and oh yeah, whats her name again? jlo.
    success (or not): gigli was made before this movie. ksmith shouldve seen it coming. i dont even feel bad for him with this one. i had a little sympathy for him with jasbsb (ok, it was more like embarrassed for him) but with this one... he had it coming. he had it coming.
  3. film: clerks 2
    insecurity (or lack thereof): yeah, bennifer really killed his cred but its the sequel to clerks! the reason why there is a ksmith film cult. thats gotta stand for something.
    success (or not?): cant really bag on the success of something that hasnt even come out yet. i really really hope this is a great film but from the looks of the trailer, it doesnt look too amazing. not ksmith blow your mind with crazy quotes amazing. i guess we'll have to wait and see. i didnt see jersey girl (i didnt want to be forced to gauge out my eyes which im pretty sure this film would make me wanna do) but this ill see. i gotta!


Blogger NYC Publicist said...

brilliant as always mama!

8:46 PM  
Anonymous diane said...

oh yes, i concur, another genius blog by my genius sis. i would also like to add that our recent convo and same thoughts and feelings for ksmith (remember when i was such a hardcore fan?) sparked the idea of this brilliant blog. i can forgive him for 'jsbsb', but never for 'jersey girl'! NEVER! and baffleck will forever be tainted in my eyes! sorry sydney bristow!

1:48 AM  

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