a peach pit memory

new years eve a few years ago: jamie decided to go to club med turks and caicos to visit and chill with the worst dj and worst person ever, respectively, but not without generously lending her apt to her fave girlies (plus adam which equals her girlies). to ensure that she would return to her apt the way she left it, she strategically placed a well written note on joe e tata because she knew id be the first to arrive and joe e tata would be the first thing id grab. without further ado, the famous note:

HEY GUYS,

JUST WANTED TO WISH YOU A HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Also wanted to leave you with few rules and regulations of my apt:

1. NO dishes should be left unwashed in the sink.
2. ALL garbage must be taken out of the apt!
3. LOCK the door EVERY time you leave the apt. ( here is another spare just in case!)
4. SHUT all the lights when u leave except for the hall light if you would like.
5. SHUT air conditioner/heat when you leave the apt!
6. DO not let any strange people sleep in my bed!
7. DO not break anything of mine!
8. DO not let my brother party in my apt!
9. NO TRASH ALLOWED! (Though I don’t have too much expensive jewelry that I would miss)
10. DO not leave any crumbs or food out! (NO BUGS ALLOWED!)
11. REMIND ADAM TO CALL CAPITALE! ( MONDAY)

IF YOU WOULD LIKE:

1. Vaccum/Swiffer
2. Buy me alcohol (absolute vanilla)
3. Call my super and have him unclog the shower drain,=. (# on fridge)
4. Buy some tissues
5. Wipe the glass table with Windex at least once

THANKS! HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE FUN! I MISS YOU ALREADY! LOVE JAMIE

special mention:
i thought i was ghetto, before i went to india. i was so painfully mistaken. i saw a man in a three piece suit take a shit on the sidewalk. that is gangsta!!!
an excerpt from margaret chos blog. that shit is hilarious!