Sunday, April 19, 2009

dinner = yes. drinks = NO!

i hate bars. thats no secret. the only reasons why i went to them is bc my friends were there and i was single. yeah, single peeps need to go to bars but im not single anymore. woo hoo. and luckily i found a man whos as allergic to bars as i am. last night, last night was the last straw. i gave it a fair shot and what happened to me pretty much summed up why i loathe crowded bars.

so last night sha had her bday party in the les. now a rule with my man and i is everytime we need to go to the les a pastrami sammie at katzs must be eaten. i know. best rule. anyway, i was actually excited about going out last night. yes, the pastrami had a (major) part of my excitement but i was also psyched to see my girls. i knew jiller and the aim were definitely going. plus, the aim was going to the party with her bf. my bf is mr tall but i heard her bf is mr really really tall. plus, i wanted to meet the man that was making the aim a happy lady. the partys start time said 10:30 and even though we usually show up fashionably late, i opted to show up on time.

so i dragged my man out of the apt around 9:45pm. got to katzs and we were done with our delish sambo at 10:20. yes, that 35 minutes included waiting for and taking the subway all the way to the east side. man that pastrami. i can practically taste it now. anyway, so we took our time walking to the bar (made a pit stop to an atm on the way). got the bar at 10:40 and we were the first ones there. crazy. the jiller was stuck in traffic and the aim was finishing up her late dinner with her man. so my man and i said happy bday to sha and waited at the bar.

even though the place was crowded with what seemed like college kids, i told myself to behave and try and have a good time. i even did a shot with my man while we waited. since the bar area was getting crowded by the minute, we decided to walk to the back of the place where sha had tables reserved. i took maybe 5 steps when i felt a bang on my head and heard a glass crash. then i felt cold sticky liquid all over me. all over my denim jacket, all over my green shirt, soaked up fave bra, all over my black skirt, all over my black bag. yeah, a dumbfuck waitress banged her tray on my head which caused a drink to spill all over me before the glass crashing on the floor.

stunned, embarrassed, soaked, and pissed off, i shot the waitress the nastiest look i could muster out of my bitchface bank, and walked out of the bar. my bf followed and we hopped in a cab (and i HATE using cabs, especially when a subway is so close). i had to get home asap and get the sticky nastiness off of me. f-in ho. i hope that bitch gets fired. i hope she lost sleep for doing that to me. i hope that ruined her night as much as it did mine. not only did i leave the bar a sticky and prolly stinky mess, i left before even seeing my friends. the reason why i went to that f-in hell hole.

anyway, during my long hot shower, i made a decision. as much as i love my friends, im going to apply the same rule to them as i do to work functions. i will only go out if it is a sit down meal. meet for drinks? sorry, thats a no. why do people go to bars? they go to drink or to hope theyll meet someone to go home with. well, i dont like to drink (and trust me, i wish i could like drinking), and ive already got someone i actually love at home. so for future birthday celebrations, sure dinners may cost me more than a trip to a bar but my sanity is priceless. im not gonna force myself to go somewhere i know i would have a horrible time in.

i tried. i really tried last night. i would love to like drinking. i see people getting drunk and sometimes im envious of them. wow. wish i could be as silly happy as them. and then i realize there is something that makes me silly happy like that and well, its not something i can do in public (not in this country anyway). thats why im so lucky i got my fellow homebody bf. we be happy at home, togethers. we dont need no stinkin bars. so my dear friends, if your bday is coming up, lets go for meal. ill leave after dessert/before drinks :)


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