Saturday, May 06, 2006

listen learn love

im no music guru. if im guru-istic about any kind of music, its only of cheesy pop boybands of the late '90s and very early '00s. oh yeah, i also know all the words to the tenacious d album but just like my ever extensive knowledge of boybands, thats not something i really brag about. just 'cause i can sing along to every song 2gether has ever recorded, doesnt mean i dont appreciate good music. im really digging classic rock these days. the classic rocktopia channel on accuradio is what ive been listening to at work lately. but there are other influences in my life that have opened up my ears to classic music period. genres fall all over the board. this list contains artists i would like to listen to, learn their songs and most likely appreciate the greatness they have created.

hip hop smoke stop
snoop dogg - theres so much drama in the lbc, its kinda hard bein' snoop d-o- double -g. yeah, so thats the extent of snoop lyrics i know. i love the snoop. hell, he made the top of my celeb sess list. hell, drop it like its hot is my main ringtone. and that song is like 80 years old. i hate that i dig his music yet i cant sing along to it. i wanna really know his old stuff. his death row days. then ill ease my way into his pharrell laced tracks. for now, ill just be rollin' down street, smokin' endo, sippin' on gin and juice... laid back.

jewy mcjewstein
barbra streisand - the reigning jewish goddess of all time. i wanna feel verklempt everytime babs comes onscreen but i cant because i just really dont know her music. or her movies. i know. im a bad pseudo jew. i can say that when i do hear little clippets of her songs (papa can you hear me/yentl) i understand how her fans melt like buttah. her voice is just so soothing and smooth. plus, shes a lady who puts her foot down. i heard she bitched out some salesperson when he (im sure hes g.a.y.) told her leggings are a no-no. a smooth bitch. she, my friends, is lethal. plus, shes married to james brolin, dad of brand. a direct connection to the goonies, shes a #1 in my book.

'cause jamies got a hold on me
these next group of artists need an intro because theyre a group influenced by the blog nazi herself, jamie. jamie only likes what she likes but fortunately, what she likes is pretty good. even the bad cheesy stuff (hello clay!) but hell, i like the cheesy stuff too (hey clay). maybe thats why we get along so well. anyhoo, the jamie "go for the GOLDschmidt" influenced artists.

whitney houston - ok, im not even gonna mention the crap shes in and/or looks like right now but no matter how loony shes gotten, you cant deny whitneys voice, music, hits (and im not talking about from the bong). of course i know whitneys music. i grew up watching her wanna dance with somebody. i just wanna learn her music well enough so i can join jam and the jiller during their road trip or karaoke bust outs. jillers random bust outs are the best. jamies bust outs are never random. hehe.

rod stewart - seriously, if i wrote this 3 weeks ago, rod wouldnt even have crossed my mind. do i think hes sexy, definitely not but he is one chill ass m-f'er. and he has the cutest baby ever! too bad i cant say that about his daughter kim. yowza and yowza (second link not safe for work)! rod really won me over when he guested on idol. the man even helped make aces (last, boo!) performance a great one. oh that rod. seriously, the man has a lot of hits that i probably dont even realize are his although his raspy voice is pretty hard NOT to recognize. with his bevvy of adolescent girls, im sure that man will stay forever young. (yikes, im getting to punny.)

madonna - ok, i dont NOT know madonna. please, what girl doesnt know every song on the immaculate collection. her new stuff though, dont know too much of it. i know hung up (even my brother can sing that song) but the rest of the album is one big mystery to me. so, ive gotta learn it and learn it fast because her madge-esty is coming to msg in june and miss jamie g has got the hookup to tix. i now know to not have a rum and coke before entering the side stage pit. good times.

billy joel - do you ever have those joey tribbiani moments? everyone is laughing at a joke and you have no idea where the humor came from yet you chuckle along anyway. yeah. thats how i feel when a billy song comes on. everyone sings along and i just pray that the chorus of the song will come soon so i can sing along to the two words i actually do know. i know. im a disgrace to long islanders but i do appreciate the genius-ness that comes from that drunk man. seriously, i think hes like the notorious b.i.g. how you ask? because both men paint amazing stories with their songs without using cheesy rhyming words. their lyrics just flow yet tell captivating tales.

victoria is like the polar opposite of jamie yet i probably spend as much time (or even more) with her than i do with jamie. victorias my bud from work but we connect man. we get each other. plus, shes opened me up to music i know i wouldnt even think to purchase but now want to invest in.

the kinks - i didnt even know who they were before this past xmas. victoria wanted the kink kronicles because it had her namesake song. it also has crazy hits that i had no idea were theirs (you really got me, all day and all of the night). i feel like knowing their music will make me cooler because i have knowledge of a pretty cool and classic band. awesome.

jimi hendrix - drugs. janis joplin, drugs. mama cass... ham sandwich. hehe. seriously, whenever anyone hears jimi hendrix (not just his music but his name) they think stoner music. i used to think that way too, and i am a stoner. i dont know when it was exactly, but during one of our lunchtime drives, i heard a good song, asked who it was and have been intrigued ever since. im not sure where to start with his music but you know when i do, therell be a doobie in my mouth. c'mon! its like totally necessary.

david bowie - it only took me 4 songs to realize we were listening to his album yesterday, but bowie is pretty rockin'. actually, victoria is not the only reason why i wanna get into bowie music. classic rocktopia on accuradio has to take some credit too. the channel cranks out great songs non stop but sometimes a song gets me so much that i actually stop my work to see who it is. 3 out of 10 its bowie. hes a legend and i wanna know the content as to why hes so legendary. hes like my new (artist formerly known as or still goes by) prince.

well mona lisas and mad hatters
elton john - almost famous. its like my most flavorite movie of all time. seriously, that kate hudson is one smartass bitch for fighting for the role of penny lane. she played it beautifully too. the movie is excellent but what makes it so damn good is the music. that cameron crowe knows his shit and the shit was and will always be mr honky tonk man elton john. of course i know all the words to tiny dancer (hold me closer tony danza!), but i wanna know more. i actually bought the sheet music to his greatest hits albums but my fingers go to jello when i attempt to play his songs on the black and white keys. elton john is like billy except hes british and gay.

its all about growing and knowing this year. my list is pretty eclectic and is in no way in any order. so where do i begin? which artist? which album? ill take any suggestions so if youve got it, bring it.

special mention:
since we're talking about learning
jamie: i wanna be a scotch drinker. i wanna know the different kinds of malts.


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