Sunday, April 02, 2006

idol prediction: upsetting and upsetting

i never try and predict whos leaving the idol brigade because with this competition, you just dont know. i do know that this weeks theme - country - is gonna affect the votes in a huge huge way. i honestly think this seasons finalists are the cream of the crop for idol as a whole. every other season, it was kinda easy to predict who was leaving and not too hard to say goodbye to them when they do. the only two people i wanna see leave are the ones who are gonna benefit from this weeks theme, damn you bucky and kellie! so for whoever leaves us on wednesday night, i want to bid you an early adieu and let you know that you didnt deserve to go. bucky is sucky and the jessica simpson syndrome can only work for so long for kellie "calamari" pickler.

ace young - youve got a good chance of leaving us. even though you beat everyone out the water in the dreamy department but when it comes to vocal chops, your at the bottom of the bucket. suck it. your father figure still gives me chills and made me realize that im still capable of having popstar crushes. my advice, choose your song wisely and dont show us any more scars. thatll only give paula another reason to unexpectedly call you or show up at your door with her happy pills in one hand and a martini in the other. a dirty martini im sure.

katharine mcphee - after your bitchy presence in the bottom three last week, i was cured from my mcpheever but i still think youre the best female performer. my advice is to drop the 'tude and bring out the cheese. lots of it. if you cant be hick-y might as well be cheese-y. if a canuck can not only top the country charts but make country pop-y (hello shania!), im sure you can survive one week of red state music... or can you? shania broke through with cheese so go the twain way. she knows how to rule.

bucky covington - he may have the same last name britneys cousin/best friend laura lynn but that still doesnt change the cold hard fact that bucky is sucky. my advice to him: leave and leave.

kellie pickler - i have no tolerance or patience for stupid people, especially stupid people who try and pass off the stupidity as being cute and adorable. with that said, you could imagine how much i love kellie pickler. my advice for kellie: (in the words of gayliestar, of course) go kill yourself.

chris daughtry - i will be in shock if homeboy is in the bottom three this week. i think hes gonna win the big shebang but its idol and the theme is country so anything can happen. this is a definite catch 22 for mr d because if he stays true to his rock roots, simon or others may say/think that he cant adapt well to other genres of music and this popstars should be able to sing all types, blah blah blah. if he tries to do country hes risking sucking big time and losing his dignity. ace and chris have got something in common - total utter hotness - but chris has also got vocal chops. (oh! just bawled out ace.)

mandisa - mandisa leaving this week would be like the early departure of jennifer hudson during her time on idol. we all know shes got the most powerful voice out of everyone but country may be a little difficult. maybe she can sing a song for the underground railroad days. is that considered country? am i biggest racist whore youve ever met?

elliott yamin - i really thought his departure would be sooner rather than later but elliotts got a growing fan base. even with simon. the jew bird can sing... even if hes practically half deaf. actually, this week might be good for elliott. if he smiles the trailer trash will think hes one of them and vote away. (again, i must be in a bitchy ass mood. that was mean and mean.)

paris bennett - paris had a great performance last week. even though simon called her a wannabe beyonce i think she did a pretty stellar job workin it out last week. (im such a pun-ner tonight.) after lisas departure this week, i think paris might jump ship this week. kevin left, then lisa, paris is now all alone when shes in "idol" school. the lonliness may drive her berzerk and make her miss classmates that much more.

taylor hicks - lets hope he acts like his last name people! i never wouldve thought taylor would be one of the front runners of this group but he totally totally is. as long as he has a blast on that stage this week like he does every single week, our silver haired crazy dancer has a pretty solid spot. that is of course unless the spontaneous people at fox call his name up as one of the final three for a surprise element. we all know how much katharine loved that nasty trick last week.

all we can do is sit, wait, watch, vote, and wonder how it all goes down this week. in the meantime, heres a meaty special mention entry to keep you entertained.

special mention:

best friend who was a friend of a friend but is now a fave of everyones: john! seriously cant think of a time or even slight moment that i hated you which is a good thing because i hate everyone. youre the best because we have a blast just making fun of people together. haha.

cameo, cameo, whered you get that cameo: tonights ep of greys had special guest star laurie metcalf (aka aunt jackie from roseanne). that was an easy one to spot. want a harder one: the sopranos, the mother of the guy who was selling his fathers business. picture her with blonde hair, bad jersey clothes, and three kids (one princess, one nerd, and one "lesbo"). give up? marj weiner from welcome to the dollhouse.

hey, jealousy. not the gin blossoms song but my brosefs (real: ichford and son, psuedo: michael jm) wrote and recorded a kickass song this weekend. check it out here. the song is called sleeping in. recorded this weekend in ichfords room. gotta love technology!

time wont give me time (a special mention rant): daylight savings. i usually have issues with it. i love time. time rocks. especially when you have lots of it to do totally nothing. i love my birthday because it usually falls around the time you have to change your clocks back an hour hence gaining an extra hour to do whatever you please (i usually choose sleep). so last night, we had to move our clocks ahead one hour. that totally put me in a bad mood until i realized, this jump in an hour means my vacation is an hour closer. vacation and vacation!


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