Tuesday, January 15, 2008

look great in 2008

ok. so its been a whole month since my last post. my 2 readers have actually bugged me about updating. a lot has happened since i last wrote but i wanted to have a solid topic before i started blabbing. so number 1 biggest thing that has happened since my last post (and no, it isnt my amazing trip to anguilla, which def comes in a closesecond and i will get to in a bit) is that dee got engaged!!! yay!!! we knew it was coming but it was still a fun surprise when it happened. and now, its wedding time all the time.

ive been appointed the maid of honor title and to be honest with you, i thought id be all nervous and stuff... it is a LOT of responsibility and it is DEE whos the bride, but im really embracing it without tons of excitement and even more ideas. plus, bri will officially be family which means we can take his side when they fight and not feel guilty about it. haha. but i know the wedding is just the start of a brand new life for dee and bree. hehe. i find it crazy exciting to watch this all happen especially to someone so close to me. its like watching a real life movie on growing up and officially becoming an adult. ah, enough with this deep crap, the wedding means i need to hit the gym, stat!

along with dees wedding (which i have a vital role in: hello! moh!) ive got two others to attend this year and possibly aka probably another one to add to that list (cough cough amie-jay cough cough ike-may cough cough) im probably most nervous about looking HOT for dees wedding. yeah, the wedding is supposed to be about the bride but pictures last forever and i do NOT want to look like a wildebeast in any of them. so dee got engaged right before i left for my amazing trip to anguilla but i decided to not worry about my weight until dee and bree picked a date for their wedding. without a goal date, its so much harder to motivate myself.

ah, my trip was amazing. truly honestly big pimpin the entire time. my bfs fam is so awesome. i couldnt thank them enough for inviting me on this amazing amazing trip. it really was the BEST vacation ive ever had (sorry jamie, spring break '06 stepped a notch down to #2 but a strong #2). im still waiting for some more pics (if i had my own camera, i wouldnt have to wait) to do a proper post so i dont want to divulge too much. just know that i came home tan, relaxed and happy. details will come in a later post.

so when i got back to ny, i felt like dieting was just surrounding me. went to a bday party for marla and i barely recognized her. homegirl lost some major poundage and she looks good. jiller has been working out like a madwoman and thats starting to show too. even at work, everyones all 'gotta watch my calorie intake'. argh, and now i think my jeans are fitting tighter than usual. is that just my mind... or my muffin top (is all that all that). then i got to thinking, is my mind in shallow hal mode. like its on auto-therapy. do i really look like a beast but my eyes are making me see someone whos not that fat? i used to have the reverse goggles before therapy: i didnt look so bad but my eyes made me see a huge amazonian monster. what do i believe?!

i do know im happy. yeah, my life isnt ideal but its close to it. my job is really pretty awesome. my relationship with my bf (and even his fam!) is pretty awesome. even my relationship with my fam is going a-ok. obv, my friends rock and i just realized ill be seeing a bunch tonight for the idol premiere at chez g. yeah, my finances can be a bit better. my living sitch isnt perfect but its livable for now. its fun being in a relationship and actually talking about a future, even if its hypothetical sometimes.

i thought this year may freak me out a lil. it is 10 years since hs. yeah bitches. if my class had any school spirit, i would expect a reunion this summer but im not holding my breath for the invite. honestly, i see and talk to the people i want to keep in touch with from hs. anyone else is unimportant to me. besides, reunions arent about 'oh i wonder how good so and so is doing' but its more 'oh i hope so and so got FAT.' i think i keep in touch with enough people though. i went to two weddings last year. two (or three) more this year for hs peeps. im very surprised and happy with myself that im not freaking out. i guess the holden caufield has worn off. im not that scared to "grow up" yet at the same time, im in no rush either. besides, with facebook, myspace, and friendster, you dont need a reunion. you just need mad online stalking skills... and ive got those :)

special mention:
brenda: help yourself, kelly. you did to dylan.
one of my 9-0 quotes on facebook


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