party party pictures pictures

instead of reading my psycho babble, treat your eyes to some photo summaries of januarys hottest bday parties: jamies and adams.

jamies night began with dinner at haru



then it was to the black sheep to party!


gaylie,
adam, jamie and the aim partied at the back of the bar



lauren, jackie and i lookin' pretty in the front



adam is too sexy


and
im too hungry

a week earlier was adams a month after his bday party. it was the second annual party and i have a feeling it wont be the last. theyre too much fun.

having a drink with the belated bday boy and soon to be bday girl



pretty girls and pretty boys



theres always dancing at go-go



at the end of the night, its all about good friends and good times

amy, adam, me and jamie

special mention:
we wanna get a worst person award and send it to him.
we should scratch the "rson" and add "nis" instead. worst penis award.

cass in progress

i had a social challenge this weekend. i had a party to go to and had to stay 'til the end. no "20 minute hello/have a drink/apologetic goodbye cassie-style" going out but real deal go to a bar and know that you'll be staying there for hours type of night. to make this challenge even more challenging was the fact that the bday girl (blog nazi jamie) was ill and crabby abby. i couldnt walk around with my usual "this place sucks" attitude at the party because i didnt want to dampen the bday girls fun night anymore than it already has been with her illness. to make sure she would stay in good spirits, i had to be. me and good spirits, now thats a tough combo to bring together but this impossible mission was accomplished. i realized i made some real social progress while i was just trying not be a party pooper. yes, its a little more work than walking around with my usual "when are we leaving" attitude but sometimes i just gotta throw my sourpuss look aside and "work" it.

• suck it up and say hi - i know, its the easiest thing to do. see someone you know, walk up and say hello. but im a lazy bitch and i mean every word of it. lazy because i usually dont feel like getting up when someone new enters a room and bitch because i dont bother getting up and saying hello when someone new enters a room. i realized i went up to every person i knew and said hello with a little convo mixed into it. yeah man. now thats progress from a girl who used to walk the halls with tunnel vision, not even saying hello to her closest friends. progress man. progress. and i got to walk around freely not wondering if that person thinks im a bitch because i didnt go up and say hello earlier. wow. now i know why nice people are so happy, theyre not neurotic. awesome.
  
• when you wanna roll your eyes, bite your tongue (or some food) instead - this is a method we use at home. everyones got pet peeves. theres always that little something about that someone that annoys the crap outta ya. thats why you only speak to this person seldomly. and its the same every time: you guys meet, start talking, you start to think "this person isnt so bad. we should hang out more...", and then its either the way they talk or start talking about whatever annoying subject they loooove to talk about and you start to get that urge, that urge to rip your ears off your head so you can smack that person upside the head with them. when you feel this person coming close, head to the food table and stay put. when the moron starts babbling, insert food in mouth. in big chunks too. youll be too busy trying to chew and swallow to be able to insult them. this method has prevented numerous verbal wars in our house.
• its not always like pulling teeth - i hate small talk. its bullshit. and you know its bullshit. seriously, ive had whole sessions with jill r just talking about my hate for small talk. but i did it. i talked. to people. and even some new people too. yeah man. weekend of progress. i guess my "fear" of small talk was being a failure at it. my real fear is that awkward silence. the "hi my name is so and so/im so and so/nice to meet you/nice to meet you too/crickets crickets crickets" awkward silence. jill r says i hate small talk because i always put the "blame" of the awkward silence on me. she says maybe they just suck and its not me. ok, she didnt put it in those terms but thats what she meant. so i had a lot of conversations with people and managed to occupy myself for hours at the damn black sheep. yay for my increased social stamina!
• im not fat, youre fat! - ok, youre not fat but thanks you guys (the only ones who read this aka my closest and greatest friends ever) for saying the reverse of what my parents yap at me everyday about. i have been feeling kinda fatty lately (its hard not to when you get daily "youre still not working out?" insults) but you guys made me feel like i looked like sometimes britney. who needs workouts to build up endorphins when ive got you guys around. best buds!

hope youre feeling better jamie and gayliestar and if anyone else is illin' out there too, why dont you take a hot bath and wrap a hot towel around your head. it was also pretty awesome seeing jackie from md this weekend. mmmmmm. cookie cake.

special mention:
jiller: so anything new going on with you guys?
g-star: i masturbated today.
rupturous laughter
mama c: ha. i did last night.
the aim: i did this morning.
having a sex and the city-like convo at jamies bday dinner at haru

just a spoonful of special mention helps this post go down

my creative juices aint flowin' but here are some quotes to keep your morning goin'.

special mention:

jamie: evite!
cassie: we should check it out first.
jamie: best call of your life.
-about the bar XII karaoke nights


OF COURSE the Asian girl would win. It's like my third-grade piano competitions all over again.
an excerpt from tvgasms greys anatomy review describing the hot dog eating contest


how to tell if hes just not that into you: his friendster status.

jamie doesnt do hipster bars.

a peach pit memory

new years eve a few years ago: jamie decided to go to club med turks and caicos to visit and chill with the worst dj and worst person ever, respectively, but not without generously lending her apt to her fave girlies (plus adam which equals her girlies). to ensure that she would return to her apt the way she left it, she strategically placed a well written note on joe e tata because she knew id be the first to arrive and joe e tata would be the first thing id grab. without further ado, the famous note:

HEY GUYS,

JUST WANTED TO WISH YOU A HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Also wanted to leave you with few rules and regulations of my apt:

1. NO dishes should be left unwashed in the sink.
2. ALL garbage must be taken out of the apt!
3. LOCK the door EVERY time you leave the apt. ( here is another spare just in case!)
4. SHUT all the lights when u leave except for the hall light if you would like.
5. SHUT air conditioner/heat when you leave the apt!
6. DO not let any strange people sleep in my bed!
7. DO not break anything of mine!
8. DO not let my brother party in my apt!
9. NO TRASH ALLOWED! (Though I don’t have too much expensive jewelry that I would miss)
10. DO not leave any crumbs or food out! (NO BUGS ALLOWED!)
11. REMIND ADAM TO CALL CAPITALE! ( MONDAY)

IF YOU WOULD LIKE:

1. Vaccum/Swiffer
2. Buy me alcohol (absolute vanilla)
3. Call my super and have him unclog the shower drain,=. (# on fridge)
4. Buy some tissues
5. Wipe the glass table with Windex at least once

THANKS! HOPE YOU GUYS HAVE FUN! I MISS YOU ALREADY! LOVE JAMIE

special mention:
i thought i was ghetto, before i went to india. i was so painfully mistaken. i saw a man in a three piece suit take a shit on the sidewalk. that is gangsta!!!
an excerpt from margaret chos blog. that shit is hilarious!

only thing to do is jump over the moon

happy 25th birthday jamie!!!


no day but today... take your powder. take your candle.

just press play and bust out. its your birthday!

special mention:
birthday gift hints
theo fineo/"mom and hiller"/must be talkin' ellen
guess you gotta wait 'til saturday to find out. even little the-fi. hehe.

ps - i know your birthday is jan 24th but i wanted to post this before i went to bed. have fun today jam!

is the internet the only way?

i went out this weekend. both nights. and friday night i went out twice! first to happy hour with work people and then to brennans bday party with the aim. sat night was marlas bday party on the west side. both nights i looked snazzy. i had great hair and everything. so did i meet any interesting people? any possible suitors? nah. if anything, while i was out i had my favorite quote from 200 cigarettes running through my head: "you dont just meet people on the street. even at a party you dont meet people. you just stand around talking to the ones you already know" which is exactly what i did.

so how do people meet? yes theres the tried and true through friends way but i think ive met most of my friends "other" friends and well, the guys are either gay, gross or taken. boo. so that crazy thought crossed my mind again and this time, it stayed with me for a little longer than usual... yes, the online dating thought. ive told myself if i do decide to put myself on the cyber market, itd be after i move out of my parents house (goal date: june 2006).

actually one of my old friends from high school has had a lasting (pushing two years) relationship with a boy shes met on jdate and she still lives at home but so does her boyfriend. i dont know if i want a man who still lives with his parents and well i dont expect an independant man to want me when im still "dependent on my parents." i guess i want to be what i want to have before i go out and get it hence my delay to start the online dating.

if i decide to put myself out there, which site do i sign up on and sign my personal life away to? yeah theres match.com where a couple i personally know met through that site and are thisclose from an engagement. but who am i kidding, ill probably narrow down my search and go for what i know: jdate. i still have a few things that are holding me back though.

1. the asian fetish. ive said it before and ill say it again, i want a guy to want me because they think im kickass and not because they think im some submissive geisha. fact: most men who have asian fetishes are jewish. i guess they like to feel powerful next to their little china dolls. i dont want to meet a guy who knows more about my culture than i do. i know throwing myself on jdate might be like sending a cute 6 year old boy to sunday school taught by 8 different old preists. im gonna need creepo radar.

2. damn jewish geography. yeah man, im from the epicenter of jewtown, usa. when my friends cruise the jdate highway, we either know the guys theyre looking at or know someone who knows him. my favorite reason for leaving high school: no more bullshit gossip. and well if i know one thing its that jews like to talk and well, i just dont want to be gossip fodder.

3. love at first bus ride. i still have an attachment to that fantasy every girl has - the hot guy sees me across the room and falls madly in love with me as fast as i do with him. we could meet at a party, at a supermarket, even on the damn bus but since i still live on long island and drive instead of taking mass transit, my mta true love will have to wait 'til i move to the borough of bright lights. cant find instant attraction on a damn website.

i think im gonna stick with my staying in movement and go out for events (like bday parties) only. i can spend my nights in working on getting a hot bod so i cant attract the hot men i want and practice my bitch face to fight off the gross ones i dont. my nights at home will also help me save money that ill probably use to take cabs rides back to my apt after bad (j)dates. eh, i think i have to get over the reasons i mentioned above before i start uploading my hot pics and filling out a profile.

special mention:
after taking some simply sleep...
sha - i knew the drugs were starting to kick in when i realized i ended the email with "later alligator."

flat

this thought has been brewing in my mind for quite some time. koreans are pretty flat. im not meaning in the chest too. physically, a lot of them are flat in a lot of areas. i am not either naturally or because i got shit enhanced (its the 21st century, who hasnt gotten something done, honestly?). so i thought itd be fun to compare me to the people of my native land.

face
kp - round or oval, their faces are still flat and usually resemble a frying pan. seriously, you know someones hot when that feeling of wanting to fry an egg on their face goes away.

me - people usually get a nose job to get rid of a bump or bridge, i actually wanted a bridge. yeah man. so my nose is surgically enhanced but if i love anything about me (besides my rapist wit) its mi nariz. maybe it was my 16 year old mind subconsciously trying to make my face "jew-ier" but who cares, my profile rocks. now if only i can get rid of that double chin.

chest
kp - skinny bitches = flat chests and let me tell you, south koreas not only got seoul but theyve also got waif-like hos. cant be skinny and have a big chest too, not unless you live in hollywood.

me - the main reason why i quit gymnastics was so i can grow some boobies! i didnt mind being hobbit short but i didnt want to be flat as a board either so i quit the uneven parallel bars and prayed for my period. yeah well, i grew a few inches but the boobies didnt come as fast. i didnt get implants and im glad i never did. watching true life and other gory reality shows with plastic surgery gives me the heebie jeebies. besides, after going on the pill, i didnt need to get a bigger bra but my boobs definitely got fuller but are still small and perky enough to not need a bra. wow, this is turning into a self esteem booster.

belly
kp - skinny bitches = flat bellies. yeah they eat rice with every meal but they dont combine it with fatty fried foods either. so they can wear the ho-iest tops and not have to turn away any ice cream sundaes either. damn.

me - if i grew up in korea, i may have had a flat belly too but no. i grew up on long island, home of the greatest bagels in the world and minutes away from the best pizza to ever hit your lips. instead of having rock hard abs, my belly is jello-y jiggly. eh, once i get out of my winter blues, ill start the pilates and 8 minute abs so i can have a nice six pack by summer. who am i kidding. ive never had a six pack (of abs anyway) but maybe i can work for that line right down the center of the stomach. now thats hot.

ass
kp - if they dont have the lovely lady lumps above the navel you know for sure they aint got no junk in the trunk either. jeepers. the guys have flat asses too. i know because i live with one, and two girls who are lacking in the gadunkadunk dept. asses so flat they need extra cushions on their seats. sad.

me - i dont know if it was the 5 years of competitive gymnastics or if my mom actually passed on a nice trait to me but me, ive got some booty. since i sit on it all day at work, i sleep on my belly to ensure i wont lose one of my better assets. true, i can do squats and lunges to help keep my ass up and perky but that requires physical movement and who wants to do that when you can lay in bed.

i hope i didnt put koreans in a negative light. im glad i am who i am and im also proud of the country my fam came from. seriously, one taste of their banana milk and youll wanna be one. its been over 11 years since ive been to k-land and i really would like to go back. the 18 hour flight, $1000 plane ticket, and lack of ample vacation time are the only things that are standing in my way. ill go back though. someday.

special mention:
i left the good one back at work so an ellen one will have to do. sorry jam
money in the pants. money in the pants. m in the p. m in the p. oh great, now i have to pee.

seacresting out

damn american idol. im not a hardcore viewer. i usually dont watch it at all. im what youd call a lazy idol watcher. i dont hardcore watch until there are only a few contestants left. sure, ill watch a few eps here and there when theyre finished with all that eliminating bullshit and have their final 10 or 12. from there i read about each weeks performances and results at ew.com and probably my new fave tv review site (such a cyber dork!) tvgasm.com and if someone sounds really interesting (or if i cant take jamies nagging anymore) ill tune in. i usually never watch the audition eps. too much cheesy crap to sit through and also a lot more seacrest than id ever subject myself to. ew, i actually said im "seacresting out" tonight when i left work. the idol cheese is already seeping in and its only been one ep.

so i watched. i missed the first half hour but i actually sat through and watched the auditions. mostly because i was hoping the ep might inspire me to write something great tonight and also 'cause i didnt want to hear jamies wrath tomorrow during our parking chant/convo. so i didnt get any inspirations but i do have a few observations:

1. there was an even trashier (if you can believe this) version of britney and her mother lynne spears. seriously, we were looking at what wouldve been if miss brit and her momma traded in her broadway auditions for "jobs" on 42nd street all those years ago. britney, be glad your momma had a working head over her shoulders. best part about wanna be brits audition - the constant growling. no one can beat jamies "brrrrrring back those nights..." no one.

2. siblings + american idol = lose lose situation. has anyone ever heard of the term sibling rivalry? hello! why would anyone ever ever ever enter one of the most nerve wracking ego crushing contests and with their own brother/sister/twin?! even if the siblings make it to the next round its still a lose lose because either way both or only one of you will be a loser and no victory can be sweet if someone you love had a loss. the brunette hick town sisters were pretty good but the 16 year old twins we couldve done without. simon was right, theyre only in because they have the twin gimmick. if either of those guys came in individually, theyd be going back home.

3. the song selection hasnt actually gotten better. the people must be watching and taking notes before they come to audition. i surprisingly didnt hear any bad whitney, celine, mariah, alicia keys, etc... songs. unbelievable. the few girls who did attempt to sing a song from one of the greats brought it and kicked some major ass. tomorrows auditions should be interesting with that horrible rendition of straight up. never ever ever sing a song by one of the judges, even if it is paula abdul.

i guess i dont like the auditions too much because deep down, i really wanna see jam and gayle onscreen doing my all time favorite version of we are family... yeah yeah yeah eee yeah.

special mention:
revealing her newfound love of the 1st ave bus
jamie: i can get to jillers really fast. she doesnt know that. dont tell her.

special mention american idol style:
go for the GOLDschmidt!

joinaclub

happy 22nd bday join!

ooga chacka ooga ooga

first holiday of 2006. first friday the 13th of 2006. first 3 day weekend of 2006. big weekend of firsts. its left me a ti li. so im just gonna start this week off with a few special mentions:

gayliestar - hope youre feeling better. youre not the only one with your limbs crappin' out on ya. my left foot decided to have a mind of its own and i fell on my face walkin' out of the petco in union square. one of my classier moments this weekend. yuengling, sour cream and onion chips and margaret cho was definitely the chillest way to start my weekend. hope the doc prescribed some good pain meds.

the aim - but youre not hardcore, no youre not hardcore. i didnt have the dvd. yay! seriously, thanks for the gifts. jack black rocks. its actually inspired me to look for my tenacious d cd and stick it back in my car. btw, send over the fun pics from the weekend. many "friendster" worthy ones. hehe. good luck on the new job ;)

jamie - "i hate girls and i hate coat checks!" youve seriously pulled it off again. another miraculous karaoke night. i think all we need now is a mini road trip so we can perfect our goodbye to you. ps - im so excited about your bday gifts!

jiller - 1. i passed by thomas's today and realized it has been way too long since weve had breakfast there. 2. sunday definitely wins best day of this funtastic weekend. dutchie, diner, massages. 3. i walked through the kitchen to get my massage. call me for the full story.

adam - party at go go was totally fun. i love hanging out with you and the boys. its a great self esteem booster. whenever i get compliments from you boys, i always know you mean it instead of trying to get into my pants which by the way i probably wouldnt mind anyway because a. youre usually gorgeous and b. mama needs a mister right now right now.

joinaclub - happy 22nd! a special mention quote (and motion) for you:
after a filling meal and dessert at cheesecake factory
cassie - i cant breathe.
swirls a huge chunk of whip cream onto finger and proceeds to eat

returning home from our big birthday meal at cheesecake factory
arms up in the air
joinaclub - IM FULL!

another big ups to joinaclub for hooking me up with a sweet ass music vid on my myspace. im such a cyber cheesehead. anyway, click on the hoff and scroll down to comments (on the right side). sing along, chuckle, whatevers your pleasure.

walkin on walkin on broken glass

ok, the term i wanted to use was walkin' on eggshells but it feels more like broken glass because it hurts like hell. thats my life at home. actually its more like a landmine because everyday is not a reenactment of a major war but make the wrong step and here comes hiroshima. i live with 3 ticking time bombs. actually, i lived with 3... one of them moved away. that one is not so tempertastic anymore. shes actually the easiest to calm down outta the three. she used to be the hardest to deal with. time and distance can do that a relationship. it actually made ours better.

the other time bomb usually has a set timer. she only lets out her wrath to one person at a time and it usually lasts from a night to a week. as soon as you get a hit from her, youre prepared for the rest of the fight. after a year of therapy ive learned to not hate this person. actually, when its "my week" i just feel sad for her. her anger is usually based on misunderstandings and skewed views. the whole "she doesnt know any better" mantra just repeats itself in my head as i endure the verbal pain she lashes out on me. it actually helps. and when the calm sets in, i just let the abusive week go. water under the bridge.

the last time bomb is the hardest to deal with. i think i deal with her the same way i used to deal with the first bomb. be as careful as i can but when i make a mistake (which is often, im only human) i must endure the crazy bitchouts til the sun comes out. the missteps i make seem to be more frequent with this one than the first but they dont last as long. the first bomb could go on for days, days!, rambling on about the same thing over and over again until "ive learned my lesson" even though it got through my head the first time. she had and still has a very obsessive nature. this one will yell and scream before she even thinks. i have tried talking back to her but she can never hear what i have to say because shes too busy listening to her own thoughts.

i have always had a strained relationship with this one. ever since we were young, she would spit on the idea of giving me, her older sister, a little respect. i may be cold and bitchy at times, but i always respect my elders. even the ones who would instill so much fear in my everyday life. our relationship did get better these past few years but as i look back, the respect for me is still nonexistent. i always treat people the way i would want to be treated and i guess i naively expect that back from others. i seriously am this girls biggest cheerleader and try so hard to be a great friend to her too but when i get treated like a dumb piece of shit, it makes it hard for me to keep continuing the way i am.

i am always the first to admit that im wrong, even when im not sometimes, but the people i live with are stubborn as hell and just cant even fathom that they in fact, may be the wrong ones. i have spoken up before, but it always falls on deaf ears. ive seen people fight with the third time bomb and it always just ends up a catastrophe. id rather just avoid the chaos and wait 'til the girl has calmed down. is this right though? should i let her go on thinking that her warped mind is in the right state? should i just fight it out until her ears let her actually listen? why is it that no one ever hears what i have to say but when someone talks to me, i let every single hurtful word sink in and repeat itself over and over again until i start thinking about the suicidal notes i would leave? (this is why i go to jill r weekly) i guess nice guys do finish last but i still dont wanna be a bitch either.

special mention:
cassie: its a lose lose.
jamie: lose jews.
discussing going out to karaoke with the cheap jewish boys we know

just press play

im a pretty neurotic, ok i was a pretty neurotic driver. i couldnt be bothered by anything. both hands on the wheel, focus on the road. no distractions. thats why choosing the right cds for my car was so essential. i couldnt be bothered by changing the song when i didnt like it. i had to just like it or suffer until the next song came on. i dont drive like that anymore. please. both hands on the wheel? i can pack a mean bowl and smoke it while im driving now. ive got skills. but this isnt about baking out my car. its about those treasured cds. the ones i could play when i could barely drive. the ones that dont need a push of the skip button. i can sing along to every single song that belongs to the albums i will mention below. not only do i sing along, but i can bust out to any one of these songs. now the list may be lacking the presence of my all time faves: bsb, *nsync, brit... but its because even on their cds, there are a few songs i can skip over. seriously, my list is no joke. some may agree with my choices, others may disagree, im sure most will get a chuckle or two over my selections but please, read with an open mind and remember this list is coming from a crazy one. thanks.

for the rainy days...
john mayer: room for squares - sure his first single was catchy and that was what got me to buy the cd, but the others songs actually made me enjoy driving in the rain. easy listening tunes, fun sing alongs, crazy guitar. i cant name a favorite because it changes every time i listen to the record. city love is pretty awesome, 1983 is nostalgic, and everyone wants a body thats a wonderland. i never did buy johns next album. this one is definitely enough for me.

and when the sun comes out
mariah carey: 1s - she aint the most successful female artist for nothing. talk about feel good, if its a nice day, all i need is this cd and my top down cruising in the cabrio. i even like the slow ones too... even the whitney duet. who am i kidding, who wouldnt love busting out to a mariah/whitney song. definitely a sweet sweet fantasy.

kelly clarkson: breakaway - i think ive said enough about miss clarkson a few days ago but her cd is still in my car. true, i change my cds once every two months because im a lazy ho but i dont think this one is leaving my cd booklet in a long time. when ive had enough of mariah cheese, its always nice to rock out to clarkson. makes me feel good and empowered to be a girl.

when i really wanna rock
sum41: all killer no filler - literally lives up to its name. every song is rip roaring and the lyrics are so much fun to sing out loud. when i just wanna yell, i pop this in and start belting out while bobbing along in my car. passerbys must think im crazy. hey, whatever gets me home. thats my driving motto.

allister: last stop surburbia - when i dont feel like doing the whole mainstream thing and wanna feel kinda indie, i put this album on. the songs are just as catchy as the ones you would hear on trl. im a lyrics gal and these are pretty awesome. plus, this band holds a special place in heart because they are the first i ever interviewed. sitting in the back of that van... totally innocent.

the academy is: almost here - when its time to wail, the academy is is my only choice. oh the lyrics, so so so away message worthy. bawling out in such an artistic manner is theyre specialty. and yeah man, theyre pretty f-in kickass live too. almost here, the academy is is here according to me.

for a chuckle or two
2gether: 2gether again - this is the groups second album. the first was a soundtrack to the movie and this one contains the songs from the show. yeah, i might be a crazy cheesehead but every single one of my friends asks me to replay the hardest part of breaking up whenever i play it for them the first time. i love this cd because not only is it hilarious, but you can sing along to it too just like any other bsb or *nsync track. and you know i cant resist the lisp of mickey p.

you plus me it doesnt equal ussss
you took my car now i gotta take the busss
i thought i had a girl that i could trussst
i guess i never knew my calculus.

tenacious d: self titled - this cd not only has rockin' tunes but also hilarious interludes ala janet jackson except its from two fat guys. i never wouldve had the amazing western bacon che if it werent for this cd for that, i love the d. ok, that and the cd just rocks my socks. the d: jb and kg are talented man because not only can they rock out but they can make me laugh too. genius. oh yeah, and they toke too.

and for any time
the rolling stones: 40 licks - i know, i only have 9 on this list but this is a double cd so its really 10. this is another staple in my car. its what i like to call a safety cd. its the cd you know that about 90% of your passengers will enjoy listening too. plus its musical history. so many great songs. i would love to see these old guys in concert but since im not a gallionaire and dont have a sugar daddy, ill just continue enjoying their hits in my car. current fave: shattered.

special mention:
its fun if someone doesnt like you.
jamie about "the chase"

island essentials

i was going to write about what my top five things would be if i were stuck on an island (because lost is coming back tomorrow night) but as soon as i wrote the post title, i decided to do a comparison between what you would need on a tropical island and this crap hole i call home: long island.

lip wear
tropical - lip balm with spf. the sun can be your friend but only if you wear protection.
long - lip gloss. the whining doesnt sound as annoying when coming out of shiny pinkish lips.

tanning wear
tropical - sunblock spf whatevers the highest. theres enough rays to not soak it all in.
long - who needs creams when theres tanning beds. how else do you get leathery skin.

vacay wear
tropical - sensible bathing suit. basically one you can wear day after day. no shoes. (the others)
long - bright colored, over priced, barely there bikinis with matching juicy terrycloth couture.

entertainment
tropical - just give me something to write with. letters can 'cause a lot of drama ala junior high notes in class. and since theres paper, how 'bout something green to go with it.
long - car, greens, bowl, lighter, visine, lip balm, gum. im set for the night.

food
tropical - who eats when theyre in a bathing suit all day. just give me the sun... and some greens.
long - who eats when theres skinny bitches everywhere. but when the munchies are getting the best of you, diners and bagels. late night and just right.

ok. i really wrote this for jamie. i know you have an early day. i know this was crap. when im under pressure, my mind goes blank. got no ideas. maybe the new lost ep will motivate me tomorrow.

special mention:
jamie: someone yelled out dylan mckay!
cassie: im surprised it wasnt you.
jamie: yeah, well i have respect for the theatre.
discussing seeing rocky horror picture show with luke perry on broadway

my list for 2006

already in the second week of the new year and i still havent made my resolutions for 2006. the list below is just whatever is rattling outta my crazy head:

1. diet is die with a t - i know i know. the resolution thats on everyones list but im not like everyone else. when i want to do something, i do it. ive got perserverence. i dont even know if im using that word right. ok, so i had a pms-in meal at johnny rockets yesterday but ive been snacking on banana chips instead of potato chips. im slowly starting the hot body transition. more workouts, less pigouts. motto number one of the year.
2. summer '06 will be independence day - i cant live with my parents forever. and i seriously need to start my 'dating' life but i wont until im an independent woman. i just want a place that i can call my own. somewhere to kick off my shoes and pack my bowl. i work hard. im gonna reward myself with some summertime freedom.
3. more sex in 2006 - seriously, after i get resolutions 1 and 2 down, this one should just start rolling in. hot bod + own apt = lots of hot sex. who am i kidding, all i really want is someone to watch tv with... have sex and then go back to the tube. hell, i wont even mind if the tv is on during. actually, i think i might prefer it that way.
4. no more spirals - i really want to try and live a more positive life. no more downward spirals. i actually noticed an uplifting change in my attitude this past weekend when i went out bday party hopping. i took a look at the people that were surrounding me at the bars and realized new yorkers really are butt ugly. ok that doesnt sound uplifting but it made me feel like im not as gross as i think that i am because my "competition" is pretty nasty to begin with. see, im more positive already.
5. carrie bradshaw/doogie howser - what do those two have in common? they both type away on their comps about the lessons they learned that day. id like to do the same. keep on writing. sharpen my skills. then ill live a little and write about actual interesting stuff. maybe if i keep on this path, i can possibly get paid for my ramblings. then no more office fat ass.

so those are my main goals for 2006. i have other goals too like going to europe, going to korea (no, thats not a typo), and try the west coast life (although i do like being surrounded by "ugly" new yorkers) but that i can do when im closer to the big 3-0. ew.

special mention:

real world/road rules challenge: the gauntlet 2
beth hasnt grown at all... except for her ass - montana

THE BANGS! - ellen

its kelly. miss clarkson if youre nasty

this weekend has been a nice mix of sibs, friends, and good times. friday night was sibling night with a showing of dog sees god. i seriously recommend it. im even considering seeing it again. different parts of the show still pop into my head occasionally. nice start to the weekend. saturday night was a typical night of bday party hopping with the girls. ended the weekend with a visit to grandma and a recap ep of greys anatomy. i also played santa on saturday when i gave a few gifts to my close friends. jiller got grow your own herbs kit(and no, not the type you smoke although that wouldve been cool), gayliestar got a late night out emergency kit, and jamie got what every cheesy jewish grandma wants: a mic shaped shower sponge and the best and worst of american idol dvd. we watched the best of dvd and it reminded me that there really is only one true american idol and thats kelly clarkson.

clay aiken may have the best voice in idol history but he never won the idol title so he cant even qualify. kelly is an idol. she is the only idol winner that can be identified without the idol title. her career is so successful that parts of it mirror other very successful artists.

celine dion - these two must have the same management or something. same masterminds behind their careers. both ok looking girls with huges set of pipes but talent can only get you so far. you need to make the right moves which is exactly what miss dion and miss clarkson did. dion had a moderate hit with because you loved me from the up close and personal soundtrack. then she had a titantic hit with my heart will go on and the rest is canadian music history. clarkson had a moderate hit with the trouble with love is from the love actually soundtrack. then she got a breakaway hit from the princess diaries 2 soundtrack and a string of hits to follow from the same named album.

mariah carey - im thankful kelly doesnt have the same wardrobe as mariah but the numerous hits from a single album looks very mimi-like to me. it took me hearing behind these hazel eyes one time to make me purchase the breakaway album and it hasnt left my car ever since. there are only a handful of albums i can listen through all the way without skipping songs, mariahs 1s cd is one of them and the breakaway album is another. there is one difference between mariah hits and kelly hits, kelly songs dont all the sound the same. my fave songs on her album is the very dark and moody addicted and the very girl powered mid tempo next single walk away.

christina aguilera - im also glad kelly doesnt take fashion advice from the new mrs bratman but when it comes to live performances, these two are neck and neck. there are some artists whose pipes just wont let you down and there are others who make you nervous when theyre performing on snl. lets just say, these two chicas arent the latter. when they grab the mic, you know youll be dazzled by the power that comes out of their mouths instead of cringing as you watch them do a hoe down while theyre "backing" track plays. ok, so ive never had the pleasure of seeing miss clarkson in concert (im sorry but if i wanted to be surrounded by annoying 12 year olds and their mothers id take myself to the nearest lone star or national jeans and call it a torturous night), but whenever i watch her live performances on the tele or the web, im just amazed.

avril lavigne - yeah, the canadian wrote breakaway and generously gave the texan the song to sing but theres more in common between these two than that hit song. they have both put a rock twist in pop music. avrils got her canadian angst and expresses them through catchy tunes with the occasional yodeling in the bridges. kelly rocks out american style by trashing apts in her videos and growling out frustrations. they have also never appeared in their music videos with their asses hanging out and tits jiggling in sync with their hot beats.

jessica simpson - ok, so there is one thing and one thing only that these two have in common: theyre both from texas. the similarities stop here. kelly is like the anti jessica. clarksons got a brain. kelly can actually sing. she doesnt have a creepily incestuous relationship with her egotistical overprotective father. no annoying younger sibling who tries to desperately steal her spotlight by embarassingly pursuing a music career herself. no exploitive relationship thats a tabloid regular. kelly clarkson is definitely one reason to not hate texas.

even though miss clarkson has had three successors to her american idol title, she is the only one who still wears the crown. will there be someone else who will be able to hold a candle next to her career? maybe we'll find out next week as the first ep of season 5 airs on jan 17th. will i be watching? im a lazy ho. ill probably just end up reading about it the next morning on ew.com. in the words of aaron karo: "god bless the internet."

special mention:

moment of the weekend - the another day bust out

quote of the night - "its not that hard to fuck a bouncer."
-gayliestar after getting her cigarette lit from a bouncer

beautiful beautiful

my second attempt at a vacation this year had a rough start - delays at one airport, begging to get on a plane at another, wiring being tested on a plane, the long wait for the johnny park van, encountering johnny parks white trash customers and its odelay dumbass employees, witnessing a car tumbling accident - but my kickass brosef ichford and son, pseudo brosef michael jm and i finally made it to cousin richs abode.

the johnny park pt cruiser

after doing the mccallister dash across atlantas airport and arriving at our destination over 4 hours late, you know what i had to do asap!

traveling (and the amazing california bud) got our tummies a rumblin' so after our oc sess, we headed to carls jr for western bacon cheeseburgers. seriously, this is my new all time fave fast food i can eat everyday and not mind the constant heart burn or love handles that come with burger. my dream burger: bacon cheeseburger with onion rings and bbq sauce. no lettuce, no tomato, no joke. just love. my love my love. my endless love. my only regret... not taking a pic. try to resist this burger paired up with a batch of "fun fries" (criss cut seasoned!). paris had the right idea. id totally whore myself out for a burger from carls jr. yummy western bacon che. yummy.

ichford takes in the "movie set" like beauty from cousin richs porch

after a mini wake 'n bake, we had to get down to business the real oc style. yeah man. next stop: laguna beach!

blazed in 'guna

drove out to 'guna and it was beautiful beautiful. having such beautiful scenery right outside your window, its hard to get depressed. really made me kinda crave a west coast life. then three barbies walked by me and i realized why im a new yorker. blonde hair plus my big asian face = youd have to pay me to look in the mirror frightening. jeepers. the rest of the day fit our motto for the trip: go with the flow. after our breathtaking 'guna stop, we drove through the wealthy streets of newport beach (no seth cohen sightings), stopped by a head shop to purchase a mini bong to enjoy the sweet cali cheeb out of, got some fun mexican food at el torito, took in some educational programming with the movie munich and ended the night with some games at dave and busters and dinner at in n out. grade a.

next day was cousin dans turn to play tour guide. cousin anthony had breakfast duty so he took us ichfords requested place: the fam tofu restaurant. having some korean food in our systems was good. balanced out the 80 tons of grease we ingested the past two days. after our healthy meal, dan took us to "the city" (i put that in quotes because everyone knows there is only one city and thats nyc) so i can put my fred segal gift certificate to use (thanks brian!). got myself a fun shirt for the trip (has a chicken on it and says "if it aint fried, i aint eatin it") and then got hungry. like we werent gonna smoke on the way to los angeles. our meal at grand lux was grand and luxurious and very very filling. walked around the beverly center and then headed out to the walk of fame to get some cheesy souvenirs and take cool pics.

storm trooper was about to take out michael jm.

mike dont care. look at his smirk. yeah man. he was blazed too.

the drive back to the oc left us tired but hungry, so we had some carls jr again (gotta get as much while you can) and then passed out.

the next day was our last in the oc so we spent it at knotts berry farm. rollercoasters. no barnyard animals. just full fledge rollercoasters. i actually bought a picture from one of rides but i dont have a scanner so you wont have the pleasure of seeing my frightened face. seriouly, when did i get so old? last meal in oc was korean bbq. yes, where the brosefs special mention quote was said. after the very filling dinner, it was time to leave orange county and head to hollywood.

the super 8 was now where we would reside for the rest of our trip. lets just say it was no ritz carlton but mike did get to have as many towels as he wanted we did get to see numerous cop cars drive by when we smoked out of the window. classy. rhymes with cassie.

roughin' it at super 8

this day was basically revolved around ichfords female friend (i like to call her the rancHo). drove an hour to rancho cucamonga (yes its a real place) to pick up the rancHo, drove an hour back to hollywood and got some grub at jack in the box. i got a massage at burke williams (thanks dee!) with dees friend amy while mike occupied himself with ichfords sidekick in the super 8 lobby and rancHo played f-in tease with my brosef. the night had a nice ending though when we all enjoyed a nice mexican meal and mariachi music at el compadre.

the next day was sadly our last. so the boys and i packed our bags and checked out of the super 8.

last reflections in the motel room

we decided to explore more than a 1 block radius and hit up amoeba music. i picked up some b 52s, the friday double disc soundtrack, and my current fave michelle branch. then we went a little further down sunset to mesa boogie and the guitar center. the brosefs were itching to play some music since they were without their guitars for almost a week.

which way do we go man?

i saved the best for last. for our last meal in california, we went to cousin richs sushi place, wasa. zagats rates its the best sushi in irvine. zagats aint no joke and neither is wasa. seriously, cousin rich hooked. us. up. damn. i never thought i could be grease up the doors because im gonna have to be rolled out full from sushi but this place did it.

yummy in the tummy

after the sushi extravanganza, the boys and i stopped by the grove/farmers market for some last minute souvenir shopping. we reflected back on the fun times we had and dreamed of trips and possible moves in the future. who knows if ill ever become a west coaster. the nice weather is a great perk but the smog is a little eery. plus, i can sometimes feel like a fat ugly mofo in new york where, according to the boys, has the nastiest girls ever. it is possible i may have a bad suicidal downward spiral if i lived in the land of bleached hair and big boobs. that is of course, unless i go on a coke and diet coke diet and come to terms with a bottle of sun in.

our trip back home wasnt nearly as hectic as my way to california. no delays, no rewiring. no more johnny park rental car service. just some tylenol pm and oh yeah, a 3 hour layover in atlanta. note to self: dont take sleeping meds when you have to wake up after a less than 4 hour plane ride and walk across a terminal to wait for another flight in 3 hours.

special mention:


jamie after she enters her car that has just been robbed and ransacked
how did a raccoon get into my car?!

mourning ti li

its been an emotional rollercoaster today thats left me a ti li. mostly good thoughts and feelings. i have the greatest support system, including the most wonderful friends ever. plus my wacky family actually added some humor to this somber day. i have some cool pics and a fun vacay i still need to write about. that will be up by the end of the week. til then, some special mention quotes that may produce a chuckle or two (probably all from jamie)

special mention

jamie quotes
blog freeze
(describing my time away)
an actual good mix
(what she made for her new years party)
after listening to my fantasies of blogging about my nyc life
jamie: good. you can start one now about long island.
cassie: yeah, but i dont go out.
jamie: good. that can be chapter 1.

california quotes
about to take soju shots at korean bbq in oc
rich: to vaginas
mike (blazed of course): to vaginas
shots are taken. ten minutes later...
rich: i think that vagina toast just made my night

george clooney

happy new year.

i remember

i remember my grandfather.

i remember walking to school with him every morning with my sister. even though we were walking through a tough neighborhood, i always felt safe with him by my side. i remember the stops we made to the local candy store every afternoon after school. grandpa would always let us pick whatever we wanted so i would pick one item while dee would have her arms full of sugary treats. he never minded though.

when we moved to long island, grandpa was still the one walking us to school. the neighborhood was much safer but he still walked in a fast pace. i remember walking home from school one day with grandpa and a friend and my friend saying how fast we were walking. even though he had a glass of liquor with every meal, he was the healthiest man i knew. always moving, always staying busy.

grandma is definitely the chatty half but whenever grandpa would speak, it would be words of wisdom. i remember grandpa would always teach me history lessons years before i would learn them in school. i would be sitting in class, listening to the teacher speak and having de ja vu. the de ja vu was because of grandpa. he gave me the best foundation of education.

even though mom and dad would enroll us in numerous korean schools, i can only credit grandpa for my literacy in korean. i remember sitting at the dining room table with diane and writing the korean alphabet over and over again. i remember reading the beginner books and gradually advancing to comic books and then finally newspaper headlines. although i wont be able to translate any korean novels, i can instantly read any korean words and thats because of the alphabet charts grandpa made us write.

i remember multiplication tables. when i was in second grade and learning multiplication, grandpa made me sheet of all the multiplication tables. i aced my multiplication exam that week and now wow my friends when theyre desperately trying to figure out how much they would spend if they bought five 12 dollar shirts.

i remember grandpa playing badook. whether it was going out and playing with his friends, or keeping himself occupied while he was at home, i can still see and hear those black and white checkers moving around on that wooden board. i remember the planters peanuts can he would keep the checkers in.

grandpa loved to travel. he was a world traveler. i remember him leaving for months and coming back home with pictures of the beautiful places he had just been to. grandpa lived his life to the fullest. he may not have been loud or wild but every day was a learning and teaching experience.

i remember grandpa. i always will.

i love you grandpa!
8.13.1909 - 12.30.2005